I’m still out here having a grand ol’ time with this tiny Kodak digital camera. It was one of the best surprise gifts Henry has ever given me! IT’S SO STUPID AND SIMPLE BUT SLAPS.

I bought it with me to the Cold concert on Thursday at Jergel’s and now I will show you the pictures I took with it even though I have not officially recapped the actual show yet (that will be coming soon—rest assured it was simply magical).

I already posted about this IN REAL TIME on Thursday (actually fun fact it was NOT in real time because I ended up having no service inside Jergel’s so I couldn’t get the post to publish. I tried connecting to Henry’s hotspot but that didn’t work. Then our waitress was supposed to give us the card with the Jergel’s wifi password but never did probably because she got distracted by the guy who looked like an actual child sitting next to me ordering his 7th Moscow mule (probably not 7th but he was throwing them back like water and he and his gf were getting giddier and giddier as the night went on—cute at first but OMG who was gong to drive home?! Horrifying…). Then Henry was tired of me crying about it so he went and asked the lady at the door for the password so then I was able to finally publish it.

Don’t worry—all of this was transpiring before the show started. I’m not THAT pyscho about blogging.

But you better go back and read that if you haven’t already, knowing now the trial and tribs behind posting it!!

Anyway, please also enjoy this short video from the evac.

I’m still getting the hang of where to aim the camera when taking selfies so I always end up looking like I’m concentrating bigly.

Jergel’s is the epitome of older person venue. You can pay extra for early entry in order to snag a table and eat a mediocre dinner pre-concert. That’s what we did. You can even bring your knitting gear. That’s what the lady in the gray shirt at the table on the right did.

I actually wish I had brought a book—there was so much time to kill before the first band came on.

My non-alcoholic beer, lol. Not that we were ever big drinkers at concerts but when you’re specifically NOT drinking it makes it so much more apparent how much everyone else IS drinking and it’s horrifying. Especially at these older shows.

COLD!! I loved that this camera makes it look like I took this picture in 2001 when I was basically a part-time groupie for this band. (If you ignore the fact that Scooter is the only original member left.)

It is stupid how much I love this dumb little camera.

Once the doors opened to the actual stage area, Henry went straight to the merch table and I grabbed a spot at the barricade AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED if you even read this slop. (And not even AI slop, just regular old lazy human slop.) Above, please observe a photo of us after he rejoined me.

Because the Mercury is so chill, Henry was able to take my merch out to the car so that he wouldn’t be bogged down by it all night. He managed to get me a shirt AND THE TOUR POSTER!!! But said that the vinyl was sold out — even the one that has 1000 pressings. I was bummed but happy that I at least got the poster which was SUPER IMPORTANT to me.

The ladies who were behind us in line ended up standing to the left of me. One of them had gone to the merch table around the same time Henry did and she also sadly reported that the albums were sold out. I figured with the super limited quantities, they were probably only bringing out so many to each show.

OK I’ll try to keep this snappy because who cares about Erin’s concert recaps, but sheesh, this was one was SO GOOD. Here’s a video of the openers:

• I am very sad to say that I cannot remember the DJ’s name but he was SO GOOD, the music fit the vibe and he played the Sneaker Pimps which I have not heard out in the wild in one seriously long ass time.
• Next was Trace Amount who actually blew my face off when his set started because I wasn’t paying attention and thought he was a crew member setting up for the next band, but then he picked up the mic, did a few “CHECK CHECK”s and then LAUNCHED into a high-decibel aural assault that legit snapped my head back. He was just one guy, a drum machine, synth, and one “with his full chest” screaming ability.
• CLUBDRUGS!!! I fucking adored them. This was 100% my style and the fact that they were playing CLUB KIDS AND MICHAEL ALIG FOOTAGE during the first song really gave their music a sinister bent. I would totally go see these two again.

Henry was popping back and forth, going to the bar for another Athletic, going to the bathroom, just your basic dad-at-a-concert meandering. But at one point when he rejoined, he casually mentioned that Danny Lohner was standing next to him during one of the opening bands. Ugh, I hate him.

Eventually, it was time! Danny Lohner, Chris Pennie (we were so blessed to be one of the shows that happened after he came on as the touring drummer!!!), and Steven Alexander came out, followed by Greg Puciato. You guys, I had gradually been moved down to the right father and farther as the night went on, putting me RIGHT SMACK IN FRONT OF GREG DURING THEIR SET. I am very much a “stand close to the stage but off to the side” kind of concert goer so I was SHOOK. Part of me felt trapped, part of me felt absolutely stunned to be so close to him, and the rest of me was just like FUCK YEAH LET’S GOOOOOO BOYYYYYY.

Fucking incredible show, incredible musicians, incredible performance, everything was incredible. I was in AWE and felt like I  must have looked like a fish with a gaping maw all night, I couldn’t help it.

10 years = 100% worth the wait. This band has soundtracked years of drives to haunted houses, my go-to music to listen to while I’m working every fall, and single-handedly keeps that dark wave side of me alive.

The best part is that there was a family with two young young kids standing behind me for the entire set which kept all the bro-dudes from rushing the stage. This was actually a double-edged sword though because Henry was standing behind me and over a little so that the kids were the ones that were standing directly behind me and the youngest of the two was right next to Henry. He said she kept stepping on him the whole time, wasn’t paying attention to the show, and kept swishing her hair around and hitting him with it. Why is this so fucking funny to me?!

After the show (Fever Daydream in its entirety so no need for set list!), Steven started handing out his guitar picks, but only to the people over to the right side of the barricade. My friends to the left and I hung around in hopes that he would make his way over to us because he kept going back for more picks. This was the ONLY lowlight of the night for me, when a bro-dude (one of the ones who had arrived shortly after us and was slamming back Miller Lites with his other bro-dudes and one bro-broad so I know this guy had to have been blitzed) came out of nowhere and shoved himself in between me and the guy to my right, totally burying me with his gigantic bare ape arm. FUCKING MEN.

EVERY FUCKING TIME.

I hate them so much. People wonder why I like Kpop so much and a huge reason BECAUSE WE DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MOTHERFUCKING BRO DUDES AT THE CONCERTS!!!

Anyway, Steven did eventually give me and my lady friends each a pick and we were so stoked!

Oh, I was on cloud nine, you guys. Absolutely so in love with that whole day. Cleveland. The Mercury. The Black Queen. I guess even Henry, ugh. Yes, the drive home was rough (also, I had a very weird “FROM” moment when we stopped at one of the rest areas when I heard someone whistle and I looked over and it was the smiling man walking toward me and I was convinced he was one of the things from FROM and then I went into the rest room and panicked when I shut myself in a stall, thinking for sure he was following me and it was like 1AM and now I was going to fucking get ripped apart by some monster. But then I saw him in 7-Eleven after I peed and he was just a truck driver, talking on his bluetooth in not-English while getting coffee, and seeming to be in a happy mood so I felt dumb) but wow, this was worth it. Every part of the day was worth it.

We got home after 2AM and Henry immediately put the poster in a frame! 379/400!! I will cherish this always. DESIGNED BY ROB SHERIDAN!!!!

My Asian Steven pick!

And you guys? After we got home, I noticed that on the dining room, Henry had set these precious treasures:

HE GOT ME BOTH ALBUMS?!!?

DUDE. I can’t even. Why is Henry the best concert buddy / husband ever?! HENRY KNOWS WHAT’S UP.

OMGOMGOMG I have anxiety pee twinges just remembering this! We got to the Mercury Music Lounge around 5:00 and sat in the parking lot for a bit, listening to SOUND CHECK I WAS FUCKING DYING. Then around 5:30, we went inside because the lounge itself opens at 4PM,  and chilled at the bar with some diet Cokes and n/a beers. I was FREAKING OUT. The last few shows we went to were low stakes for me so I felt completely calm but this one…this was different. This was a band I’ve been dying to see live for the last 10 years. A band that I fall back on every autumn.

Additionally, the collector in me was panicking because there was going to be some limited edition merch for this tour and some of it was in such limited quantities that I felt almost no hope. I guess they must have only been bringing out a certain amount for each date otherwise this stuff would have sold out immediately in the beginning of the tour. The thing I REALLY wanted was a limited edition tour poster, DESIGNED BY ROB SHERIDAN!!!! and signed by the band. 1000 made.

If you didn’t know, I am a little dirty whore for tour posters. I have a bunch framed and hanging around the house and there is not a day when I don’t pause on the steps to admire one or two of them. Concerts are everything to me and some of them truly warrant the collectible art poster!

There were also two versions of new pressings of the Fever Daydream vinyl. One was 1000 copies, and the other super sought-after one was only TWO FIFTY COPIES. I pretty much had no hope whatsoever for that one, but the other vinyl would have been nice to have.

So, because of this, and the fact that I wanted to get there before all of the BRO DUDES took all the good spots inside the venue, I was a nervous wreck. But I will say—the bartender was super chill, there was some amazing music playing, and the vibes were just GOOD in this place. I also liked that the front bar and connecting pizza joint were open early so you could chill inside rather than lining up along the sidewalk like most shows. There weren’t too many people who arrived as early as us – one older goth-y woman at the end of the bar was the only other person who got there before us. She was the one playing all the good shit on the jukebox thingie, too. (I found out later that her name is Natasha. That’s what happens when you’re a NEBBY YINZER. At one point she had to go outside to take a call and asked the bartender to keep her drink behind the bar which made me so sad that women have to do this and then I started ranting about it to Henry who LUCKILY FOR HIMSELF did not insert any IN DEFENSE OF MEN / NOT ALL MEN / CAN HAPPEN TO MEN TOO bullshit reasoning.)

Doors were set to open at 7PM – there was a second set of doors leading into the actual venue from the bar area but no one had actually started to form a line yet. I did NOT want to be the first person, and had a feeling this one solo woman would end up doing it. It ended up being her and a concert photographer that eventually broke the seal, so the rest of us joined.

What a strange entry process into a concert though. The ticket scanner person came out and set up shop in front of the doors and had us all show her our IDs while she scanned our tickets. There were just 6 people in front of us, but more and more people were starting to come into the place so she asked us to move over so that she could continue scanning tickets. Me, Henry, and two older women in front of us did as she said, but then realized that the other four people who were in front of us had simply moved over to the side instead of back, so they were still directly in front of the doors, leaving a large gap between us that ANYONE COULD STEP INTO. I immediately started to picture scenarios where we got pushed back farther and farther, and then one of the women was like, “Whoa whoa whoa, why do they get to stay up there? That’s not cool!” so the four us mutually decided to move back up because FUCK THAT. We had been there way longer than any of the people who were now getting scanned in and I’M SORRY but I wasn’t losing my spot in the merch line!

Moving up put us into this little corner by lottery machines which you would think wouldn’t matter but TWO OLD MEN came over and had two women behind us move so that they could play their numbers. The first guy took forever because he was making one of the women give him numbers, and then TOOK A CALL while this was going on and I kept distracting myself by eavesdropping on the 4 people in front of us (they all came separately but started chatting about concerts etc) so that took me out of it for awhile but I swear every time I tuned back into my own surroundings, that man was STILL behind me at the machine. He better have fucking won SOMETHING that night.

Meanwhile, the ticket girl noticed our presence and did not look pleased so when one of the security guys walked by, she stopped him and said, “Hey, ask <forgot his name already> if this is OK that they’re standing here like this.”

He either didn’t ask whatshisname, or whatshisname didn’t care because no one told us to move. I get what she was doing – she just wanted to keep the line moving so that she could everyone scanned and wristbanded before the doors actually opened but I was NOT fucking around with my spot in line, Fran.

Also? I can’t remember the last time I was at a venue that didn’t check bags. This was my kind of venue – gritty and old school LET’S GOOOO.

So, that lady Natasha was telling some wild stories and kind of reminded me of my old friend Cinn where they were either full of shit or JUST SO CRAZY that they had to be true. I mean, I genuinely thought she was pretty cool and after hearing her tell the others about how she doesn’t fuck around when people try to push her out of the way at concerts, I started to think, “OK, stick with this lass*, she knows what’s up.”

*(I have NEVER called anyone lass before but my fingers were DYING to type that so I let them do their thing. I’ll talk to them about it later. So weird.)

THEN!! Just when I was doubting everything I was hearing, THE DANNY LOHNER walked through the venue doors, HUGGED HER, and then continued on his way.

My jaw dropped.

She looked just as stunned.

“That DID just happen, right? Danny Lohner DID just hug me?” she asked all of us (well, OK, she only asked those three people in the FIRST IN LINE clique, but she was facing me and we made eye contact so I NODDED IN AWE.

Guys, if you don’t know who Danny Lohner is, the ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME INDUCTEE DANNY LOHNER, then please google him. He is a living legend and when The Black Queen announced that he would be a touring member, I seriously was so stoked. NIN is one of the few “I can’t believe I have never seen them!” bands on my list. He is a GIANT TALENT  in the music industry.

Finally, around 7:15PM, the doors opened and we rushed on in. Henry went straight to merch and I claimed my spot at barricade. I was more toward the left side a little because I knew Danny would be over there after seeing videos on Instagram. I was happy with my spot, and the two women we commiserated with in line were to my left. A decent seeming younger guy filled the space to my right and, as long as the BRO DUDES didn’t start elbowing their way through to barricade as the night went on, I felt pretty good about my location!

I’ll come back hopefully tomorrow to talk about the MUSIC.

Remember last year when I went to see Pierce the Veil and a band called Daisy Grenade opened for them and I said in this here blog that they were fine but I wouldn’t go out of my way to see them again? Hilariously, I just saw them Tuesday night for the 3rd time in a year. Life is so funny haha.

But look, Leslie: a few months ago, I heard Vienna Vienna for the first time and immediately gasped because I liked it so much. And when I looked them up, imagine my pleasure when I saw that they were coming to Pittsburgh in May! And then I laughed when I saw that DAISY GRENADE was headlining, LOL.

I think that our introduction to them being on a big amphitheater stage was not the right scenario. After I saw them for the second time last year when they were one of the opening bands for Honey Revenge, I changed my tune and admitted that I genuinely liked them after seeing them perform in a small club. You gotta see these girlies up close to get the real experience. So, I was going into this as a “third time’s the charm” kind of thing, open-minded and ready to stan for real.

Spotted on our walk to Thunderbird after work on Tuesday. 

I’ll try to keep this short n’ sweet. I love Thunderbird so much as a venue. I feel super cozy there. The people are great too. The woman at the box office had a Cure shirt on and we chatted briefly about how they’re our favorite band and Robert Smith is amazing, obvi.

After our day at the brewery last Saturday with my sister, I have vowed to not drink anything for awhile – the whole summer if needed – and not because I think I have a problem, but because of VANITY. I have been stuck on the same number on the scale forever now and I truly think I am sabotaging myself. So, this was the true test for me – not that I think I can’t have a good time but it’s become like a social tic where it’s basically just “doing it to have something to do.” So, I got two NA drinks and exactly as expected, I learned that it’s not the alcohol I need, it’s the “something in my hand.” And hilariously, the picture I took of my dumb drink is so blurry, you’d think I *was* drinking!

Anyway, I had my check-in with my dietician today and we had a good talk about this so now it’s basically an experiment at this point to see if the scale will budge now. I’m excited for this experiment!

I brought that little Kodak with me and Henry was like immediately ruing the day he bought it for me. :)

WHY DO MY PICTURES LOOK LIKE I WAS DRUNK!?

OK moving right along – Vienna Vienna was up first and I was so stoked! Henry actually came out of the bar cave to stand (sort of) with me!

I was ENTHRALLED by this set. They’re considered glimmer rock and I went into this having seen NO live videos – blown away. J can shred!  Henry actually liked it too and even asked me to put them on in the car the next day on our drive to Cedar Point!

Something I observed during this set though was that a crazy amount of people kept coming and going through the whole thing. Like it’s one thing if you have to pee so bad you can’t hold it, but I’m talking about these people leaving to go get another drink and then pushing their way back to their original spot. It was kind of outrageous! The person in front of me left three times (during a 35 minute set!!!) and the last time they came back in it was literally during the final note of the last song. I was like “Cool, are you happy that you shoved your way back in, drink all a’slosh, just in  time for them leave the stage??”

Dummy.

(Truly, they weren’t really bothering me, but it was definitely a spectacle to behold. I’m the type of person that goes to a concert, gets a spot during a band’s set and then stays in that spot unless a better spot opens up closer to the stage.)

I got to briefly make contact with J at the merch table – super great guy, v. talented!

Killing time back at the bar before Daisy Grenade!

Yeah, so I am fully smitten by Daisy Grenade after the third time. They sound so unique, dress like they climbed out of a Delia*s catalogue, have a killer band, vocals like whoa, and they are ENTERTAINING. And I had no idea about this until that night, but not only was this their first headlining tour, it was the first headline SHOW of the tour, right here in Pittsburgh! I felt like we were a part of history! After that, I was like, “OK I definitely need to get a shirt then” so when Henry slithered up beside me near the end of their set (and after someone in front-ish of me threw up?!?! I think that’s what happened, but a huge space was cleared out and staff members came over with the yellow caution sign and cleaning accoutrement, hilariously during a song that has “spill your guts on the floor” as lyrics) I said, “Oh good, you’re here, go get me a shirt.”

This is one of their just-released tracks:

Overall, it was a really glorious night – great music, great vibes, decent crowd, cozy venue. I am so glad that I got tickets to this on a whim! I am fully on the Daisy Grenade train now and so proud of them for securing their first headlining tour!

We met up with Amy and Dick yesterday at the Hazelwood Brew House. It’s a pretty cool place with three different breweries in one space so I was able to get three stamps and also hit my wall where I have decided I don’t like drinking and that OCD over these stamps is putting me down a path I don’t like. So, that’s cool.

But there were two highlights from the day that I want to talk about, aside from hanging out with Amy and Dick obviously and having a random guy take the below picture of us and completely cutting off the “Hazelwood  Brew House” sign which was the whole reason we asked a stranger to take the picture for us (AFTER HENRY WAS GOING TO PRECARIOUSLY PROP MY PHONE UP ON A RAILING!!!).

Highlight #1:

I was at the Abstract Realm bar by myself, asking the guy there about the different beers. I was still focused on making a decision so I didn’t quite hear what he said next but it sort of sounded like “Dance Gavin Dance.” I looked up at him dumbly and asked, “….huh?” and he goes, “Your shirt? That’s Dance Gavin Dance?”

BRUH. No one ever knows DGD out in the wild! (Well, at least not back when I was super into them but I have realized that they are definitely a bit more popular now since the pandemic.) We ended up having a LONG chat about post-hardcore. He has never seen DGD live and I was like, “NO, YOU GOT TO” and then told him that they’re coming to Stage AE next month and he didn’t know that! I actually JUST bought our tickets for this show on Friday, and then found out right after that it was also the 19th anniversary of Downtown Battle Mountain so it felt like kismet that that was the day I pulled the trigger and bought the tickets!

Then the Abstract Realm guy unbuttoned his shirt a little to show me that he was wearing a Circa Survive shirt (!!) so then we started chatting about Anthony Green and Sounds of Animals Fighting and the whole time I could hear myself like I was hovering up in the rafters and I realized, “Hey, she’s being herself! She’s talking in her real voice!” and then I double-realized that it was because I finally had someone to talk with about music. Fuck, it was invigorating. Especially to not be mansplained in the process.

HIGHLIGHT #2:

My Aunt Susie randomly (not so random, really – she and her husband go to breweries every weekend it seems!) came in right around the time we were getting ready to leave. It was kind of weird though because Amy has never met her and was JUST asking me if I have talked to her recently. I actually have not, it’s probably been since around my Aunt Sharon (Susie’s sister) died in 2016 aside from some Instagram likes here and there. And then – poof. Susie appears, lol.

I hoped she didn’t feel ambushed but I wanted to say hi and also give Amy the opportunity to meet her aunt. It was really nice to see her again — we used to jokingly call each other “brat” when I was growing up and spending a lot of time at my Pappap’s house and she was still living there until she got married so we were actually around each other a lot back then. My childhood BFF and I were even in her wedding!

Susie has always been super cool (and normal, which speaks volumes if you know my family) and I really hope that we get to hang out for real at some point now that we ran into each other.

I think I was overstimulated though because I was up almost all night, just laying in bed with my mind racing. I don’t know why this happens to me now–it’s like my social anxiety is mad at me for ignoring it in the moment so it rears its obsessive head right when I’m trying to fall asleep. So rude.

Hey you guys, allow me to be incredibly out of touch for a minute! When I saw that Pierce the Veil was headlining one of the days of Four Chord, I really tried to talk myself out of caring. But I love PTV so so so much and regret the several times over the last few years that I didn’t go to any of their concerts because I was too busy taking out loans for Kpop concerts. But, 2026 has been awful for Kpop concerts here in the US. There hasn’t been anything I’ve been been interested in going to, especially when even the smaller groups require traveling. So, in an effort to fill the void, I have been trying to go to just ANY concert, things I used to like, things I sort of know a little about but am interested enough to stand in a dark room with sweat people, things that I have recently become obsessed with…it’s been a lot of fun, no regrets!

So I was like FUCK IT I will get tickets for just the day that PTV is headlining. I mean, a music festival that’s in the same city, no travel, no hotel? Can’t beat that. We don’t even have to drive there & bother with parking!

I missed out on the early bird tickets because Henry wouldn’t commit, so I had to wait until tickets went on sale yesterday. I was not happy with the cost – $263 for two tickets for just one day. IMMEDIATELY upon completing the purchase, I happened to glance down and realize…

I bought tickets for the wrong motherfucking day.

I started texting Henry in hysterics. I mean, I wouldn’t MIND going both days because I like most of the bands, but I DO MIND opening that much money on some little music festival. These are practically Riot Fest prices, I feel like. (OK not that much but almost!!)

That’s when I realized that the day I wanted was also MORE EXPENSIVE because there are several more bands than the day before. Fuuuuuuhahahahahahahauck.

I found a customer service number and was on hold for quite some time, to the point where I was about to hang up and go have a stroke in the quiet darkness of my bedroom closet, when a woman answered. Woman, MORE LIKE ANGEL. You guys, she was fucking wonderful. I explained to her, in tears, my snafu and she was like, “OK, we can fix this. Don’t worry, let me see….” while my heart rate matched the sound of her fingers tap-dancing across a keyboard. Basically, she had me purchase two tickets for the correct day while we were on the phone (thank fucking GOD for PayPal credit, yo, I could NOT justify paying for 4 tickets up front even when 2 of them were going to be eventually be refunded), give her the new order # to verify that I did it, and then she swiftly canceled my first order.

JUST LIKE THAT.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY THIS WAS SO EASY?

BECAUSE IT WAS NOT TICKETMASTER.

So, just what to give a hearty shout out to Front Gate Tickets in Austin, you saved my ass.

I called Henry with the great news afterward and he seemed very relieved that I was able to get my money back from the wrong order, but then remembered that this still means he has to go to Four Chord, lol.

I’m super stoked to be going to this but here is where I need to be an out-of-touch Gen X crybaby:

$345 for two tickets to a music festival in Pittsburgh that only has 15 bands in the lineup, when THREE OF US used to go to Warped Tour every summer for half of that price with 3x as many bands. What the fuck is this Kpop economy crossover into the American midtier band world?? ET TU, POP PUNK??? There is no reason for these prices to be so high!

Here’s a great example: the other day, I saw that Turnover is coming to Spirit (small local venue). Turnover is not a big band (at least, they weren’t when I was super into them!) and I thought, “Ooh, I’d go see Turnover, it’s been a minute!” so I clicked on the ticket link, and first of all, it went to TICKETMASTER and tickets start at $50 before fees.

$50?? To see Turnover at SPIRIT? No. Hard pass on that one.

My friend Wendi and I were chatting about this at work yesterday and she said that this makes it impossible to casually go to shows just to go to shows, like the old days, and I 100% agree. Basically, the cheapest way to see live music these days is to randomly walk into a walk that has bluegrass bands playing and cough up the $10 cover.

I’m really anguished over this! Time to start researching local bands, I guess

One other thing before I go, it pisses me off doubly that the last time I went to the Four Chord festival was in 2016 when my work friend Debby called in a favor and had me put on the guest list because her niece’s boyfriend’s band was playing! Ugh, I wish he was playing this one too so I could be all, “HEY DEBBYYYYYYY….”

You guys, I think I am finally leaning into this empty nest life. Things have settled down in my head and I’m finally allowing myself to enjoy DOING THINGS again. I do not recommend going through a traumatic loss of a pet and your kid leaving for freshman year of college simultaneously though, and then have that compounded a few mths later by the re-election of a psycho fascist dictator. It’s all too much for anyone. Therapy has helped, writing in here has helped, crying to Henry has helped, reconnecting with old friends and having soul-baring vent sessions over IPAs has helped!

One of the things I have been adamant about doing this year, and have been actually holding up my end, is just getting out more generally. ESPECIALLY ON WEEKNIGHTS. The one night recently, we just went to the mall because I had something to pick up at the Vans store and even just something as simple as that made a difference and broke up the monotony. But also, on weekends where we don’t have anything planned with friends, concerts, etc., I have been trying to do one small thing. Usually it’s just us going to one of our favorite cemeteries for a walk, sometimes it’s going to a new-to-us cafe, etc. This past weekend, Sunday was going to be the warmer, sunnier of the two days so we planned our walk for that day and since Saturday was gross and dreary, we picked a little indoor activity. Since I’m still attempting to get all of the stamps in my dumb Pgh brewery book, we chose Hop Farm in Lawrenceville and had a nice little afternoon date where we rehashed the movie MOTHER MARY which we had seen the night before, which I DO NOT RECOMMEND. And, also, I have been reminded during our last several movie dates why I stopped seeing movies in the theater years ago — I CAN’T STAND BEING AROUND PEOPLE WHILE I’M TRYING TO WATCH A MOVIE. The crunching. The rustling of wrappers. The sibilant whispering of nearby patrons. Go fuck yourselves!!! I will have to go back to my “weeknight only” rule of theater-going if I’m going to continue down this road. (It gives me something to talk to with Chooch, which is why I have been seeing movies again in the first place!)

Anyway, JFC do I go off on tangents or what. The whole point is that on Saturday, we went to Hop Farm for the first time, had an AMAZING experience at the bar with the bartender who was SO YINZER FRIENDLY (IYKYK) that I almost felt like I was being filmed for some local tourism spot on the Sunday morning news. The moment he found out we had never been there before, he started chucking (in the gentlest way) sample pours at us until we had essentially tasted their entire liquid oeuvre. There was one lone regular sat at the end of the bar, weighing in on his faves as well, and I ended up getting the one he was currently nursing: The Cheeseman of Dusseldorf. It was really good! I am still learning what I like and have begun to settle into traditional German styles, I guess. Basically, beer that tastes like beer. My other thing is that I don’t drink to get drunk–I am really trying to appreciate the flavors and all that nerdy stuff. No more flights for me either because I learned that they make me feel like shit. I like to get a small pour of two different things when we go out and that is working for me so that I don’t feel like I’m on a slippery slope to alcoholism. (I HATE BEING DRUNK.)

Anyway, this place is actually huge. Aside from the bartender and his pally at the bar, we were the only ones there so it was really nice to sit back and bitch openly and loudly about everything on my mind and hearing my shrill voice bounce off the floor and walls like I was in Laurel Caverns.

Can I also be gross and say that I’m glad my fear of being an Older Couple with nothing to talk about has not come to fruition and that we actually have such fun conversations these days when we go out?!

My second half-pour was their flagship IPA, Dinosaurs in Space. I’ve been growing more and more picky with IPAs but this one was nice. What a nice little rainy Saturday side quest!

The weekend also included lots of cuddle time with Penelope who, KNOCK ON WOOD, has randomly decided to start eating her dry food again!? Maybe she was just going through a phase, trying to see if  there was anything else out there, who knows. I’m still also putting out various wet foods just in case and she has been half-heartedly grazing on those but it’s the dry food she seems to be really eating. I’m just happy she IS EATING. The vet had me so panicked.

Buddypalooza.

Saturday after lunch, we went to Pink Box for some Asian buns which we promptly ate at the cemetery. IT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!

Mausoleum bathroom selfie.

In between all of this  stuff, I somehow fell down the FURTHER SEEMS FOREVER rabbit hole after having not thought of that band for over a decade at least. I started thinking of my old Zen and wishing I could charge it because I can only imagine the random shit that’s on it. Also — do I really want to revisit that time in my life though? Lol. I had a shitty job and a toxic BFF. I did realize that I had some of those songs saved to an old Spotify playlist though, which saved me because I could NOT remember who sang this song:

Here’s what I just learned as I write this blog post:

• Blindside is a Swedish band?? Did not know this.
• THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER and played shows as recently as spring 2025?!

And that was basically the gist of the weekend!

Mono no aware (物の哀れ) is a Japanese phrase that loosely translates to “a sense of nostalgic wistfulness and the awareness that nothing lasts forever.” This is also the motto of the synthwave band The Midnight and it perfectly explains how I feel when listening to them and this whole genre of music.

I was trying to remember how this new generation of synth found me, and I think it was over the summer of 2020 when we were in the midst of Project 1980s Dream Kitchen. We were constantly soundtracked by 80s music that summer for inspo, primarily YACHT ROCK. I think YouTube picked up on that algorithm and started to slip in some “retrowave” playlists into the mix. I had no idea there was this new evolution of synthpop / synthwave / futurewave / retrowave /whatever wave as long as it’s backed by synth going on! I was hooked. It became something that comforted me during the pandemic and continued to provide happiness even afterward while I adjusted to the new norm of working from home.

I am constantly nostalgic for the 80s, I loved my childhood, I loved being with my Pappap, at his house, swimming in the pool, eating grilled cheese in the kitchen or at the Blue Flame. I loved going on errands with my mom in her old Pontiac Grand Am, Rick Astley or Michael Jackson on the radio, her yelling at me for spilling McD’s sweet and sour sauce on the car seat. LOL. The 80s were the best. And this music touches on that sweet spot in a way that I cannot get enough of! Get me an abandoned department store to roller skate through in the middle of night, STAT.

The Midnight is arguably one of the pioneers and heavy hitters of this synth renaissance so when they announced their tour last November, I bought two tickets ASAP. April 25th finally arrived (Chooch’s birthday, no less!) and I had butterflies in my stomach all day—I WAS SO STOKED FOR THIS! So far, Ollie Wride has been the only synthwave artist I’ve seen live. I guess because I got into this through YouTube playlists, and there aren’t official videos showing the bands/artists, it never occurred to me that these were touring musicians, if that makes sense? Like, it has always been my comfort background music during the day, and every time I turn around, the TV is usually showing an illustration of a 1980s Ferrari cruising into the Miami sunset. You know the ubiquitous retro 80s scene.

The Ollie Wride show was very small, at the Crafthouse, well under 500 people I would say. And the crowd was mostly older and pretty much what I would expect.

The Midnight is on another level though, which I had NO IDEA because again – I have been appreciating this music in my own little bubble and had no idea what the scene was like, or that there even WAS a scene. Well, there is. Enough of a scene that The Midnight sold out the Roxian. And the crowd was very diverse. Way more dude-bros than I would have thought, but we’ll leave that for the next post! This one is just to appreciate the Midnight and the whole scene they represent because it is a breath of fresh air. The perfect balance of throw-back and current.

But first – New Constellations!

They’re from Portland, OR and immediately proved to be the perfect complement to the Midnight. Harlee Case can SANG. For just two people, they were super high energy and got us all going immediately – I loved them! I always give the opening bands my full attention but even if I wasn’t one of those people, I don’t see how anyone there could have ignored them. They were so good!

But OMG, the Midnight. It was SURREAL seeing them in person, on a stage, right in front of me! The Midnight is technically just two people—Atlanta-based singer-songwriter Tyler Lyle and Portland–based Danish producer, songwriter, and singer Tim McEwan. Did I straight up copy that from Wiki because I am a tired Elder working from home with a cat on my lap while having a tough time stringing together full sentences without typos? Affirmative.

But they have a full touring band that includes Justin Klunk on sax (my FAVORITE member of the Midnight’s touring band!). He was AMAZE AMAZE AMAZE. (Sorry, this show came one day after we say Project Hail Mary and three days after I read it, so…lol.)

There was a cluster of sax fans in the pit and every time there was a sax solo, they would thrust these mini blow-up saxes into the air – it was fucking PRECIOUS. And at one point, Justin jumped off the stage into the crowd and I thought he was just going to go over to his fan club, but then he ended up continuing around the floor and walked past where I was standing too!

And OBLYVN on synths!!

She has this nasty keytar when she performs with the Midnight and I was obsessed.

Harlee came out to sing on “Jason”! Henry, who wasn’t standing near me, but was all the way against the wall to the left side of the stage, was tasked with video duty for me. I found out later that he had three beers (he was standing right next to the bar) and it shows in some of the videos he took, LOL!

My all-time favorite song of theirs’ is Sunset and that was the last song they performed – everyone went feral over it! That song IS SO GOOD. It makes me feel so alive while also missing Drew so much—she was always with me in the beginning stages of my retrowave phase so I can’t help but associate this music with her. In fact, there is one song by Kalax that I 100% cannot listen to at all anymore because it makes me crippled with hysterical, messy sobs thinking of her.

But this song, though, it screams 1980s summer vacation to me.

I loved that they began and ended with this background which is so similar to the images used in the retrowave playlists on YouTube IYKYK.

SETLIST:

1. Sanctuary / Love Is an Ocean
2. Friction
3. Gloria
4. Lost Boy
5. Deep Blue / River of Darkness
6. Energy Never Dies, It Just Transforms / The Comeback Kid
7. Shadows
8. Jason
9. The Right Way / Explorers
10. Heartbeat
11. Change Your Heart or Die
12. Heart Worth Breaking
13. Los Angeles
14. River of Forgetfulness (Medley) / Endless Summer / Lonely City / Synthetic / Crockett’s Revenge / Kick Drums & Red Wine / Crystalline
15. First Night In Paris
16. Good in Red
17. Vampires
18. Days of Thunder

ENCORE:

1. Summer’s Ending Soon
2. Sunset

I was so sweaty by the time it was over! What a workout.

Reunited with Henry, lol.

Some quick afterthoughts:

• I hate the Roxian for real
• Henry actually really enjoyed it and said he knew a lot of the songs (I mean, he lives in a house where this stuff is played on a loop, how could he not)
• I saw someone here that was so hilarious to me, it warrants a separate post
• There was such a random convergence of demographics in the crowd that it’s made me uber curious how others discovered the Midnight / the genre
• What a fun way to celebrate the anniversary of my C-Section incision!

Ah! When I saw that Past Self was going on tour with Clan of Xymox, I legit yelped a little bit! I have been following them for about a year or so on Instagram, since my algorithm gives me all of the Korean stuff, it was thoughtful enough to be like, “Here is a Korean goth band for your consideration.”

It’s not a secret or even a fun fact really, but I did have a pretty extensive Goth phase in my late teens/early 20s thanks to accidentally discovering a Goth chatroom called Darkchat on WEBTV in my mom’s basement, LOL. I was so obsessed with it that I would go to her house constantly to use it until she finally bought me my own WebTV console thingie. (I was living in my first apartment at the time and didn’t have a PC or a laptop yet.)

I made so many friends on that damn website, many with whom I’ll still in touch to this day, and this was also the source of much drama and crazy meet-ups as well. I had already liked the Cure at the time, and even Robert will eschew any attempts at Goth pigeon-holing, but this was when I actually started to learn about GOTH-GOTH music.

And I LIKED it.

However, I never looked or dressed the part, and that’s not an easy scene to be a part of if you’re not skulking around white face powder and black lipstick. I always looked too bubblegum and while I had a lot of Internet Goth friends, I would tend to get sneered at when out and about at Goth functions, like the infamous Dracula’s Ball, LOL. God, they hated me there.

So, I eventually fell out of that scene and, aside from The Cure and peripheral Goth bands like Gary Numan, I haven’t had any recent exposure. But Clan of Xymox is an old band (formed in the early 80s) so I figured the majority of the crowd would be people my age and older and less likely to judge me and my blond hair and Vans.

I was right.

We got in line around 6:30PM and almost immediately, the woman in front of me said, “OK, I’m obsessed with your bracelet” and so I gave her the Etsy shop where it’s from and we started chatting a little bit about how cool the jewelry is (Martha Rotten, you make the best conversation starters!). I was excited because this woman was in a legit Goth gown and her husband even had a Gothic print button-down shirt, so I felt seen. Like, I belonged there too!

There were some younger people in line, like a couple of cyber goths a few people ahead of us. That brought back BIG nostalgia, seeing the coiled extensions in the one girl’s hair and the super high platform boots. If you’ve never seen Goths dance, it can be pretty stompy, so the boots are an essential piece of the wardrobe.

In general, it was one of the most peaceful lines I’ve stood in before a show. Everyone was polite. It was fun to see what everyone was wearing. It was exciting to know every band that was being name-dropped around me because it turns out, the scene hasn’t changed too much since I last paid attention! Lots of Skinny Puppy and Depeche Mode references. It definitely appeared that everyone was there for Clan of Xymox so I was curious how well-received Past Self would be.

Oh, one more thing – the guy in charge of checking IDs of everyone in line was so nice. Great first impression of the Rumba Cafe!

We were finally let in a bit after 7PM and I had to run straight to the bathroom because theater at Ramble House or whatever that bluegrass bar was called had gone right through me plus MY PERIOD WAS IN TOWN. (Henry reminded me last week of how I used to call my period “Maude.” I literally forgot all about that!)

Anyway, while I was in the bathroom, someone started trying to force the door open from the other side and I was in PANIC MODE. That is the worst feeling ever. First of all, bathrooms in small clubs like that usually have the dinkiest lock on the door so I was PRAYING to the Goddess Hela (I don’t know, what goddesses do the Goth girlies pray to these days?) that the lock would not give out and expose me in a full-on tampon insertion pose. I quickly finished up and when I opened the door to leave, an entire crowd had formed outside, JFC. Thank god I was the first one to make it back there, because I was not in any position to stand in another line.

We secured a spot at the corner of the bar and it ended up being mostly fine.

I liked the lady who was sitting next to me on a stool, and her husband was wearing a cool Goth tophat and pointed out my bracelet to her. I’m telling you, that fucking bracelet stole the show that day.

In case you were wondering what it looks like, there are pictures in this post:

Bangles & bengals & Bingle Bangle

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, but Past Self came out and was exactly what I wanted. Dark synth is a motherfucking drug to me, I was IN A ZONE instantly. Their stage presence was haunting without being try-hard. The singer’s voice had that signature deep tone that I came to know and love during my Goth years.

They’re from Las Vegas and the singer is Korean American, so the lyrics are a blend of Korean and English. I was so stoked when I caught Korean words here and there that I knew!

Props to Henry for getting pictures for me since I am too short. (No one was behind us but the bar so he was able to freely hold his arms up, knowing that he wasn’t being THAT PERSON who was blocking the view of everyone behind him.)

Here’s one of their videos, please watch and enjoy. (DO IT. The song means “rusty knife” and I will cut you with one if you don’t watch!!!!)

(J/K.)

After their set, we moved to the back of the venue so I could get merch. I like Clan of Xymox but didn’t feel the need to be super close for them, so this seemed like a good spot. And it happened to be where my friends from the line were!

Clan of Xymox came out with a bang, ISTG. The whole room just exploded with energy and I was caught up in it immediately. Henry, not so much. He ended up ditching me and going to stand by himself near the door after awhile and I didn’t even notice at first, LOL Everything was fine until some young guy came out of nowhere and wedged himself in between me and the girl next to me. Turns out she was his friend and he then proceeded to have a full-blown conversation with her the entire time, with very little silence. It was absolutely annoying and rude. She seemed to have been enjoying the show before he arrived, too, so I’m not sure how she felt about Chatty Chad stealing the show, but I know how I felt. I kept glaring at him and he was NOT picking up on it. Had to have been in his early 20s, no couch, 눈치 없어.

READ THE FUCKING ROOM! Why why why do people go to concerts to talk?! Go to, I don’t know, fucking Denny’s! Get a fucking coffee and Grand Slam and talk until your lips chap. DO NOT DO THIS AT A CONCERT. It got to the point where my ears refused to hook onto anything but this guy’s whiny voice.

I had planned on only staying for part of Clan of Xymox’s set anyway since we had to drive 3+ hours home, and it was 10:30PM at that point so I figured that was my cue to call it. I wasn’t trying to get into verbal fisticuffs and ruin a perfectly good day. Because it really was a perfectly good day, all around.

This wasn’t from the Columbus show but I wanted to share it anyway because this is also how our Columbus show started and I was obsessed with laser gloves!!!!

And then this one was from our show:

On the drive home, I made Henry briefly listen to the Black Bible goth compilation (I have the physical copy as well and it’s out on display in the Cure corner of the living room – a nice conversation piece lol) until he was like, “OK I’ve had enough of this now, thanks.” It can get very funeral dirge-y, as you can imagine.

And then we arrived home a little after 2AM. It was exhausting but SO MUCH FUN. I’m glad that Henry still agrees to do these things with me. We definitely have some interesting adventures!

After our little coffee break at Casa Cacao, Henry found a place on High Street for dinner. It was just a made-to-order bowl place called Roots and I’m pretty sure it’s a chain, but it was fine. I didn’t want anything heavy or greasy and bowls are usually a safe bet for me. Love having a weak stomach.

The best part was that it was walkable – like 30 minutes or so, Henry said, but it felt longer than that. It was fine except that the first part of it, Henry was like LET’S GO THROUGH THIS RESIDENTIAL AREA INSTEAD except that it wasn’t just a “residential area”—it was freaking OSU student housing and, being Saturday, there were yard and porch parties happening all around us and I felt like such a old person strolling past it all.

It didn’t get any better once we turned onto High St. because that’s basically the main drag through campus and I guess there was some kind of sports game happening that day/evening because the kids were out in droves in their red shirts.

Dinner was very basic and uneventful, but it was fun to retell my Dracula’s Ball stories to Henry even though he has heard them so many times that he probably feels like he lived them in real time at this point. I was just really excited that I was going to be revisiting my goth roots later than evening!

After dinner, we started walking back to the neighborhood where Rumba Cafe is, and were trailed for a few blocks by the sound of chaotic slapping on the pavement behind us.

“What is behind us,” I whispered to Henry.

“Flip flops,” he muttered.

But turns out not only was it flip flops, but a drunk OSU boy in flip flops. He eventually passed us and we watched in awe as he narrowly escaped the jaws of death numerous times.

It felt like being back in Brookline, honestly, except the publicly intoxicated here have a few decades on co-eds and are all clad in black and gold.

We were full from our respective bowls but I was adamant upon stopping by Buckeye Doughnuts for a sweet treat on the way back. I always say i’M nOt A bIg DoNuT fAn but a classic glazed or sugar always sounds good to me.

Plus, this place wasn’t one of those hifalutin’ epicurean donut boutiques focused on exotic ingredients procured from roots of plants on the far ends of the earth. Just your basic old-fashioned, maple-glazed cruller and coffee joint that hasn’t been renovated (but hopefully cleaned) since the 70s.

We housed these down later – they were delightful.

We were still in the bustling section of High Street when the clouds turned a foreboding shade of gray up ahead. Henry suggested stopping to the CVS we were about to pass by for an umbrella “just in case” but I consulted my 50% accurate weather app which said NO RAIN. JUST CLOUDS.

“Ooooook,” Henry sighed in a “can’t wait to say I told you so” sing-song lilt.

And exactly one block later – rain. :)

Henry the Priss was way more concerned about it than me, even though he was wearing a hat. It was just a light mist and it went away pretty quickly. Nothing was going to ruin this day, you guys.

When we got back to the Rumba Cafe, it was still about 90 minutes before doors opened, so we decided to walk down the street to a cute little bar we had passed, figuring we could kill time there.

It was called the Ramble House and a quick Google search told Henry that it was a bluegrass bar. But it was only 5:30 so we figured there wouldn’t be any bands there yet.

Wrong! Apparently, there was an early show starting at 6PM and we had arrived at the same time as the two bands. The guy at the door — it was his first night, we know this because he told us approx. 4x — was super friendly so when he told us it was a $10 cover and Henry was like, “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO” because he always puts this shit on me which is why I’m chronically decision fatigued, I was like, “I don’t care, pay the man.” There didn’t seem to be anywhere else nearby and the main reason why we were walking everywhere was because it’s hard to get a parking spot at the Rumba Cafe but since we had arrived so early in the day, we got a prime spot on the street right in front of it. We didn’t want to lose it! And whatever, bluegrass is fine. I would survive.

Aside from a table of two men, we appeared to possibly be the only other non-band affiliated audience members. The door guy came over to us after we took our beers to a table and said, “Hey, I just talked to the boss lady and she said if you guys don’t feel like staying, you can have your cover charge back. I’m sorry, I didn’t know, it’s my first night working the door!”

Bro, he was SO EFFING NICE. And I wasn’t about to take money away from these bands. We knew we were going to be leaving during the first band’s set and that was bad enough! I hate just “walking out” in the middle of things like this especially when the place was so small with not many people there so there was no way to be inconspicuous about it. Ugh.

We enjoyed listening to these women soundcheck and were bummed when it turned out they were the second band that would be playing. :( I did find them on Instagram though and commented about how I was sad we couldn’t stay for their set and explained that we had only ended up there on a whim before a concert down the street. Me and my guilty conscience!!

And then, from their IG, I found out that their set also doubled as a going away party for one of the band members – I think she’s going to France? I forgot already! Anyway, it just kind of cracked me up a little that we randonly found ourselves in the midst of all this that night.

Someone’s kid did all of the artwork for the bar and this piece in particular really resonated me, particularly the banana. It unlocked an old music memory that had me spiraling out, trying to remember the name of the band that had an album cover with a banana on it AND NO NOT THE VELVET UNDERGROUND.

“They were in the same family as Blond Redhead and Xiu Xiu,” I said to Henry, barely caring as I frantically searched my phone for clues. “Back in my Pitchfork days….”

And then finally, I screamed DEERHOOF!! and Henry was like, “????”

(Relatedly, this also called to mind a song from another band that I lumped in with these agents of aural chaos back then, a song that my friend Alisha FUCKING HATED and I would always play it in her presence. I could hear like, 1/25th of a second of the song in my head, but couldn’t think of the band. Then, two days later, we were at home and apropos of nothing, I called out FIERY FURNACES!!! Henry was like HOW DO YOU DO THAT. I don’t know, man, my mind does what it wants. The song is “Single Again,” in case anyone has a burning thirst to know.)

The first band to go on was this bluegrass trio. Apparently, the guy in the middle is the only actual band member and the other two had to fill in for the other band members who couldn’t make it. The last name of the guy on the left is Kristofferson, and that fact is lodged into my brain like the HERE’S JOHNNY ax in a wooden door because I thought to myself, “Yes. He looks like a Kristofferson.”

Having a swell time at the bluegrass show!

Anyway, we had to leave halfway through the first band’s set in order to secure a place in line before doors opened at Rumba Cafe. We tried to slip out as quietly as possible but man, I felt so terrible. The last thing I want is for this band to see that and be like, “Wow, they hate us.”

:(

My fragile VIP heart is so full today! My ultimate favorites BIGBANG finally had their time to shine last night at Coachella. They were supposed to headline in 2020 and well, we all know what happened in 2020! Then they lost two members and between all of the scandals and backlash, G-Dragon’s hiatus, etc., it seemed like the possibility of a BIGBANG comeback was never going to happen. But it’s their 20th anniversary this year and they made their official comeback at COACHELLA.

IN AMERICA.

The last act to perform on the Outdoor Theater at 10:30PM on a Sunday, not headliners anymore, and still pulled THIS CROWD:

YouTube livestreamed it and I thought for sure my old lady ass was going to have to miss it, but I decided to go to bed early and then Henry woke me up at 1:25AM, saying, “Hey….five minutes.”

My eyelids shot open and I sat up like I was on a string. Grabbed my glasses and went downstairs to wait on the couch for it to start and when I say my heart was RACING.

I of course REALLY got into Kpop toward the end of 2016, and this was essentially the end of BIGBANG’s golden reign. They all began enlisting in the military shortly after. Then T.O.P. had his “scandal” which almost killed him. Then Seungri revealed his true colors with an ACTUAL scandal.

I long ago gave up hope of ever seeing them live. Whether as a 4 person group or 3 at this point, it was seeming less and less likely.

But this! It simultaneously made me feel unwell while also being healed?! I watched the whole hour and fifteen minutes with my hand on my heart, trying not to pass out. Henry watched the whole thing too – we both sat there quietly, no commentary. Then I just started sobbing, lol.

View this post on Instagram

This morning, it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up.  I immediately started scrolling through IG and Threads and was so happy to see how much praise they have been getting. The Kings of KPOP are back. They did that.

“Haru Haru” made me nostalgic for a time in Korea I didn’t actually live through. It BROKE me. Especially without T.O.P. Respect his wishes but jfc I really hope that one day he changes his mind and comes back.

Taeyang and G-Dragon performing “Good Boy”? Stop.

Daesung BRINGING KOREAN TROT TO FUCKING COACHELLA? He did that shit.

I have been so stoked all day (OK, while also slipping into sporadic sob sessions too!) and for the first time in years, I feel that old joy I used to get listening to their songs. Being a VIP is not for the weak, you guys. It’s been a rough 10 years. In fact, several years when Henry and I were in line to see Kang Daniel in Toronto, the girl in front of me asked me who my ult group is. I said “BIGBANG” on the broken wings of a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she answered somberly.

It’s like that.

But today, I woke up feeling like this is the start of a new era! I poured my coffee in my BIGBANG coffee cup and put on a BIGBANG playlist while sitting down to work. I smiled like a goof while doing my boring work.

BIGBANG FOREVER.

Last week, a post from this band called Basic Printer came up in my feed, talking about the tour they were on. They tagged another band, who I actually do follow so it made sense that it popped up for me. I noticed that the last stop of the tour was Pittsburgh, and it was ON EASTER.

We had NOTHING to do on Easter, aside from being pathetic empty nesters. And I did have a moderate interest in seeing the band that was tagged (Spirit of the Bear). But I got distracted as usual and moved on to other things. But then I got a sponsored ad in my Insta stories from Basic Printer and it really caught me at the right time, and so off to YouTube I went to see if this band had any videos.

I watched one, liked what I saw/heard, looked up the tickets for the show. $10!! I told Henry, “We’re going to this” and before he could even ask who/what/when/where, the tickets were bought.

($20 even – no stupid fees or taxes!!! It was like the OLDEN DAYS when you’d see a flyer or an ad in the City Paper and get cheap tickets at the door. But in this case, it was Instagram and Basic Printer’s website. Close enough!)

This was our first time at Poetry Lounge, but I have been following them for about a year now on Insta and I’m actually surprised that between them and Spirit of the Bear, I had seen nary a crumb dropped about this show.

First impressions:

• cozy & chill dive bar atmosphere FOR SURE; loved it.
• super friendly and helpful bartenders who did not make us feel like we stuck out like a sore thumb among the regulars

I was happy with this place so far!

There are booths along  the side of the place, but you can’t see the stage from there. That’s the only downside and short of gutting the space and rebuilding, I don’t see how that can be changed. There is only a small space in front of the stage, then the wall juts out a bit and the space becomes a narrow corridor between the bar and the booths, and everyone just has to cram up in there.

I desperately wanted Henry to take one for the team and get the Weird Al but he held firm in his refusal. “Do you want me to be sick?” he cried, but I will tell you this: if they had veggie dogs as a substitute, my fat ass would have beasted a Weird Al right there on that Easter evening, bathed under the blue lights of Poetry Lounge. I have Twinkies very rarely – like maybe one every 10 years – but I do genuinely like them, fuck those haters of ultra-processed greasy sweetened cream-filled sponges.

Come on, this is the same bitch who puts bleu cheese slaw and Froot Loops on her veggie dogs every time we visit Happy Dog in Cleveland (two whole times, but still).

And then it was time for Basic Printer! Henry of course stayed in the booth but I shouldered (POLITELY!!!) my way through the gathering crowd to get closer to the front. It was annoying because the “front row” was pretty far back from the stage, but during one of the songs, the keyboardist ran out and encouraged everyone to  move up so that was my chance – when the people in front of me barely moved I said “EXCUSE ME” super sweetly and blew past them so I could get closer. I like being all up in these things, I can’t help it! Even when I say to Henry, “You know, I’m older now, so I’m going to go to this show, sit at the bar and just relax.” Or: “I’ve seen this band enough times, I can be content with standing way back.” Or: “I don’t really know any of the bands that much, so I’ll just observe comfortably from the shadows.”

THIS. NEVER. HAPPENS.

Example: The Honey Revenge show!

PVRIS!

OMG you guys, from the beginning notes of the first song, I knew I had made a great decision! This band slaps! I love the quirky, retro keyboards and watching this young crowd of….what scene would this even be? Neo-hipsters? I’m not sure! But they dance in a specific way and I was loving it, like being at a Peanuts dance party. I’m used to the “too cool for school” head nods or just maniacal jumping, but this was something different and I was there for it.

My therapist was intrigued (you guys, I have no one else to talk to, LOL) and asked me to describe the crowd. I thought about it and said, “Well, for example, I was wearing a bright red kawaii sweater and was pretty much the only color in a scene of beige, camel, and olive.” No assholes at all though, everyone was very polite as they had no choice but to cut through the bottle-necked crowd to reach the bathroom. Cozy establishment but you better be OK with cosplaying a sardine in a full tin in order to enjoy a show there!

(Thankfully, I am OK with crowds in this context.)

But wow, Basic Printer! What a serendipitous sitch – so glad I was a “victim” of a targeted ad, LOL! After their set, I went to the merch table, bought a tour shirt, a vinyl, and got a signed Pokemon card from Jessie!

I sent a picture to Chooch who was likely furious because I never cared about Pokemon before and now here I am like, “Mommy’s first Pokemon card!”

I rejoined Henry at the booth after Basic Printer but then had to run again for Spirit of the Bear. Another solid, dance-y set!

There was one guy there who I pointed out earlier to Henry because finally we found someone who MIGHT have been in the same age bracket as him (this is a fun game we play at shows although I will say that I was also over the median age for this one as well). Anyway, turned out it was the singer’s DAD! He played the SAXOPHONE on the last song of the set and it was so precious!

Spirit of the Bear is from Youngstown, Ohio which is only about an hour away so this was kind of like a hometown show for them, and the last show of the tour as well so it felt really special! They kept reminding us that we were witnessing a moment, part of a memory in the making, and, well – you know how fucking sentimental I am so I was on the verge of tears even knowing next to nothing about these bands that night. But, the connection had been made!

I sat with Henry for a little while longer afterward while people were clearing out and just really took in the place. I genuinely liked it there and want to go back soon even if it’s not for a band! They had an interesting cocktail list and maybe I want something fancy in a shark glass.

Before we left, Henry and I (well, maybe scratch the “Henry” part) chatted again with Jessie from Basic Printer and I just felt so alive after that! What a fantastic way to spend Easter as empty nesters. I am so glad that we are finding things to fill the void while waiting for the next big Kpop concert to happen (BIGBANG!?) and that Henry is willing to accompany me because maybe he won’t agree but we have been having the best time lately!

So, I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning to the news of Mark Lee leaving SM and halting all NCT activities. First, I saw it from his own Instagram – you know it’s not going to be good when the post is a picture of a handwritten letter. I still didn’t fully understand the context – what was he apologizing for? Was there a scandal? Did he get hurt?

But then right after, I saw SM’s statement confirming that they had mutually decided to part ways after 10 years. Mark Lee! Literally carried 4 teams on his back at one time. The backbone of NCT. Haechan’s bestie.

It’s no wonder why there were so many videos of the NCT Dream members straight up sobbing during the finale of their Dream Show run in Seoul – we all thought they were just sad because that era had ended, but no, they knew. They knew it was their last time performing with Mark. Ughhhhh.

Sorry to be MELODRAMATIC, the man isn’t dead, but yo…NCT has been my antidepressant for YEARS. They were also at the first Kpop concert I ever went to – KCON 2017! I feel blessed that I got to see Mark so many times with NCT127, NCT Dream, and even – gloriously – Super M. I will support him no matter what, especially since it sounds like he made this decision for himself and he has admitted that he is scared of what’s to come.

FUN FACT, back when Chooch was a Kpop stan with me, Mark was his bias.

This is true with bands of any genre because aging is aging no matter how you slice it, but there is something especially jarring about watching Kpop groups grow up. There is little in life that makes me feel as old and panicked about time & mortality as going through an entire life cycle of a Kpop group and realizing that you’re reaching the inevitable expiration date. I hate it so much. I fear that NCT won’t survive this and their current & future military enlistments. I mean, I thought that all of the viral “NCT Dream crying” videos from this week were because they knew Haechan was due to enlist soon. Not this. (BTW, Mark is Canadian and exempt from military enlistment in Korea so Henry and I are always talking about how with NCT Dream, at least they would still have him, Renjun and Chenle (both Chinese), and NCT127 would have him, Johnny (American) and Yuta (Japanese), but I guess that is not going to be the case after all.

This is making me spiral out for so many strange, personal, possibly neurotic reasons. I have attachment issues (bigly). I take everything so hard. And it’s such a weird thing to be like, “Hi, I’m upset, can I talk to you about it?” to anyone other than Henry, who has been bracing for the fall out and of course it happens when he leaves to go to Lowe’s and I’m here alone, thinking about all of my favorite NCT memories, how I never got my NCT Dream tattoo (but really need to), and just how they have always been my cozy/comfort listen. Tears incoming.

This will always be one of my favorites:

And before I end this: A BIG FUCK YOU TO SM. I know it’s been said that this was a genuinely respectful departure and not the typical LEGAL NOTICE that these agencies are also putting out in these situations, I just feel like they could treat their artists better. They worked this man to the fucking bone for 10 years.

ETA: I just heard someone say that Mark chose himself and you know, TRUE. That takes away some of the hurt knowing that Mark is going to be able to do what HE wants to do now (hopefully starting with a vacation and lots of rest!!).

Last Saturday, Henry and I drove to Chicago to see Key at the Riviera Theater. Key is a member of one of my absolute favorite groups, SHINee. I am so happy that in the same calendar year, we had the much-appreciated pleasure of seeing not just Key, but also Taemin and Onew on their own respective solo tours. That’s 3/4 of (present-day) SHINee!

(RIP always to Jonghyun – the 8th anniversary of his death was actually a short 5 days after the Key concert which made it bittersweet.)

After an afternoon of shopping in Logan Square and scarfing down Beacon Doughnuts at Logan Vegan, we made our way to the Hilton in Evanston, where I changed into my concert OOTD. I went with this metallic gold blouse thing that I forgot I owned, because I felt that it gave off outer space / galactic vibes like some of Key’s stage outfits!

It is a really awkwardly-fitting top which I forgot about but I didn’t bring any back-ups, so oh well, too bad so sad.

The theater was about a 25 minute drive from our hotel. Originally, we had talked about just taking the L or whatever they call their train in Chicago, but it was legit 0 degrees that evening and it required a transfer so I cried, “CAN WE PLEASE JUST DRIVE?!!?” If it spring/summer/fall, sure, let’s pub-transit it up, who cares. But I absolutely hate being outside in the cold and please, just give me convenience.

I wanted to leave early because who knows what parking challenges we had ahead of us, but of course, we found parking immediately on the street that the theater was on, and it was also right outside of this place called FAT CAT, where we had some pre-show beers and small bites.

I found out about the Brown University shooting on the TV behind Henry. Happy Holidays.

I had a delightful winter ale from Spiteful Brewing called Jingle Balls. I have learned in my brewery travels that I genuinely like winter / Christmas beers. You’d think I’d be a lush for the October / pumpkin ones but they just don’t hit the way I want them to!!?

LOL purposely used this picture for Untappd because I’m such a sweetheart. This was Henry’s Cinnamon Prost from Old Irving Brewing Co. It was good! I stole a few sips. He also got a winter ale called Fall For Revenge from Pig Minds and it was also worthy of a few stolen sips. I stuck with just one beer for myself because this stupid brewery passport stamp-collecting has made me concerned that I’m becoming an alcoholic.

I also got a delicious carrot ginger soup and Henry and I shared a plate of vegan chicken bites. It was perfect pre-concert food and I didn’t feel sick at all afterward!

Toward the end of our stay there, a young couple came in on a date. She was from Australia and it sounded like they go to college together, I guess? Anyway, he ordered a DUVAL which I LOVE and he tried to give her a taste but she said she doesn’t like beer. It took everything in my power to not blurt out, “I DIDN’T EITHER UNTIL I HAD MY FIRST BELGIAN BEER TRY IT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.” But I bit my lip and tried to focus on other things, like, I don’t know, Henry.

But then the guy started talking about THE BEERS HE HAD WHEN HE WAS IN BELGIUM and I made anguished eye contact with Henry, like, “PLEASE LET ME INTERRUPT” but Henry gave me a tiny head shake, like, “no Erin, don’t barge into their date.”

UGH.

Our time at Fat Cat was excelsior with ONE EXCEPTION: we started the evening out with a superb server and then I guess her shift ended so she was swapped out with some super intense man server who made me feel so pressured to be done with everything in front of me – he tried to take Henry’s beer when he still, god forbid, had one small chug left to it so Henry swiftly pulled the glass away and said, “I’m not finished yet.” Jesus Christ, bro, let us BREATHE. I could see if he was trying to usher us along to free up a table but…it was not crowded there AT ALL.

Oh, I’m sorry – one other complaint. Every time the door opened, Father Frost came wafting in and that place NEVER WARMED UP. I was so cold that I eventually put my coat back on.

We eventually left around 6:20 because the doors for Key were supposed to be at 6:30. When I tell you it was the SHORTEST LINE I have ever stood in for a Kpop concert, I’m not lying – that’s how you know the cold was no joke. Plus, it was a seated concert so I’m sure no one felt the need to be FIRST.

Doors were late opening and I eventually reached the point where I was so cold that I seriously worried about losing my toes. I did have a hat and gloves on but I was just wearing Vans and two pairs of socks. I had to march in place to keep my blood from freezing too.

Thankfully, there were still some brave souls passing out freebies, and I of course was being very overzealous about asking for some. I love my freebies, OK?? And I genuinely appreciate everyone who takes the time to make these special little mementoes.

Finally, we got to go inside! I truly feel like it was 7PM by the time we got in there. I was in so much fucking pain that when Henry left me to go to the bathroom, I had to get up out of my seat and walk around out of genuine fear that there was something medically wrong with my feet. My LORD I can’t remember the last time I was this cold!? Maybe when I did that effing ghost hunt at the abandoned school in South Park?!! That was definitely during the winter, in the middle of the night at a school with no utilities. Super awesome times.

I went back downstairs and accidentally ended up in the merch line, which was VERY SHORT, so even though Henry was instructed to get me a shirt after he went to the bathroom, I scooped one up super quickly – legit THE EASIEST merch experience I have had at a Kpop concert to date. Chef’s kiss, A+++ efficiency.

We were in the center section of whatever “LOGE” is – the front part of the balcony, 4 rows back. It was awesome – there was a railing behind us with the walkway and then the rest of the balcony started back from that.

Henry’s seat mate saw us struggling to take a selfie (they had these bright blue stage lights going from the moment everyone entered the place and they were extremely blinding to the point where I honestly wished I had sunglasses in my purse) so she offered to take several for us which was so nice! She looked extremely familiar. We chatted with her a bit and learned that she’s from Buffalo and also traveled to Chicago last February to see Taemin, so we think we might have recognized her from that show! I love the Kpop community. I can’t tell you how many of the same faces I used to see at my old sad boy concerts but god forbid anyone talk to me at those things.

Oh you guys. Did Key become my SHINee bias after this!?!? Is it time for me to just admit that I legitimately cannot be forced to choose a bias at this point because I love all SHINee members equally and for some many different reasons? Key put on such a strong show from start to finish. He is also exceptionally fluent in English AND SO FUCKING FUNNY that it almost felt like a stand-up show at times. His MENTS were hysterical!

We stan a man who can sing, dance, and make us laugh with his effortless humor and biting sassiness. Key delivers on all points!

View this post on Instagram

The two seats next to me remained empty all the way up to when Key took the stage, and even during the 1 or 2 songs. Eventually, two women took the seats but then it turned out one of the seats belonged to someone else – a MAN! I kept telling Henry that I hoped a man would be sitting next to me, I don’t know why since I actually fucking hate men, and it actually happened! I will say, it was an older demographic for Key and there were more men than usual – one of them was down by the stage and Key even called him out during one of his MENTS and even said, “KPOP is a weird industry, right? So WEIRD…..” I was dying. Actually, there were so many moments where Key had me laughing so hard that my stomach was starting to hurt. HE IS SO FUNNY!! Key mentioned numerous times that he was so grateful to finally get to do a solo tour in the US, after being an idol for 18 YEARS. He even threw shade to his agency at one point too which was amazing.

(Honestly, do better, SM. You have the most amazing talent on your roster and you treat them like shit.)

I am so glad that we were able to attend one of his shows because he deserves all of the sold-out venues, for real. What an icon.

View this post on Instagram

One of my favorite moments was when people started yelling “RING DING DONG!” which is a super popular SHINee song from back in the day that is such an ear worm that it was actually banned in Korea during exam season because it would get stuck in students’ head and make it hard for them to concentrate – LOL I’M NOT KIDDING, this is an actual thing in Korea where songs will get banned for that reason.

Anyway, Key famously is sick of that song so people do this to goad him. He stopped talking and said, “Oh shut up!” in the most harmless way and then when someone else yelled, “REPLAY!” (SHINee’s debut song 18 years ago!) he said “shut up” again and then immediately sang, “Noona namu yeppeo….” and we all fucking lost our minds!

I felt so energized and WARM after this show. Key is a gem, a true treasure. I’m honestly tearing up as I recap this because it was a really emotional night for me and so many others in that theater who have never had the good fortune of seeing SHINee. We’re just collecting their solo concerts at this point. (LET’S GO, MINHO!!!!)

I screamed so much that night that I could feel my voice submitting its PTO request before we even left the Riviera.

SET LIST

1. Strange
2. Helium
3. CoolAs
4. Want Another
5. Killer
6. Guilty Pleasure
7. HUNTER
8. Heartless
9. Good & Great
10. Pleasure Shop
11. Picture Frame
12. Another Life
13. BAD LOVE
14. Gasoline
15. Imagine
16. GLAM (the guy next to me popped off during this one & I loved it!)
17. This Life
18. Lavender Life

In case Henry one day gets famous and you get asked about what his favorite Key song is on a radio show morning trivia sesh, it’s Gasoline. He didn’t hesitate at all when I grilled him over his favorite part of the night.

I couldn’t go to bed that night until I sorted through all of my freebies! I was so stoked to get a Helium bracelet <3

Wait an absolute banger of a concert. And without expended too much energy on this, I would be remiss to not mention that while he was here in the US – IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING TOUR – he got dragged into this ridiculous scandal where some broad was busted for administering illegal injections outside of hospitals. From my understanding, she was a trusted woman who was giving medical IVs to clients, sounds like to treat mild things like dehydration and exhaustion, but her clients didn’t know she was unlicensed. First, a comedienne went down for this, and it happened that she was co-starred with Key on a variety show, and then it was discovered that at some point, she had posted a picture on her Instagram of Key’s very famous dogs, which brought him into the scandal.

This happened a few days before his Chicago show and I was actually concerned that the rest of his tour was going to get canceled because that’s how nasty Korea can be over these things. First, everyone over there was up in arms because he wasn’t releasing a statement. (HE WAS IN AMERICA, ON TOUR. LET THE MAN BREATHE.)

Then when his tour ended, he released a statement admitting that he did receive treatments but didn’t know she was unlicensed, so then everyone bitched because his statement was too INSINCERE. Jesus Christ. So he ultimately has stepped down from all of his variety shows and upcoming commitments, including the SM Town concert in 2026. Unbelievable. I LOVE Korea for many reasons, but there are also numerous reasons that makes me so angry with them as a country too.

If his career is ruined over this….I just can’t even think about that. Please go listen to his music.

1. You guys the weirdest thing happened. Ok not the weirdest but oddly coincidental.

Last Saturday, Henry and I were at Sly Fox downtown and Portishead’s “Glory Box” came on. I haven’t really listened to Portishead since the late 90s / early 00s and honestly that was probably the last time I heard that song. I even commented to Henry that I hadn’t heard it in forever and it was sort of unexpected.

Exactly one week later, we were at this bar / restaurant in Chicago called Fat Cat’s and it came on there too??!! I texted Chooch and even he was like “wow weird.”

THEN!! This morning before leaving Chicago, we stopped in this store called Wolfbait (my new favorite store btw) and IT CAME ON AGAIN. Actually, that was the only place of the three where that song didn’t feel out of context. But it still caught me off guard!

2. I like Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga but for some reason I never really paid attention to Die With a Smile and I’m 100% positive that I never listened to it in its entirety because I don’t listen to KISS FM anymore now that I’m not driving Chooch to school. But that song is super popular in Romania apparently so that was actually my first time really hearing it, many times.

Anyway – just the other day, DK and Seungkwan from Seventeen released a cover of it and it is my favorite thing currently. I love that Seungkwan is holding a lollipop instead of a cigarette!

Well, that’s all. We only just got home around 10pm and I am ready to crash out. These road trips, man. Henry was like, “yay! This is the last one we have planned!” Watch what you say, sir. There are any number of kpop groups that could announce a US tour at any moment lol. (Hopefully Wonho’s cancelled tour gets rescheduled soon but I’m super stoked that he was at least still here promoting and making the media rounds!)