Made it to Thursday and I have tomorrow off so I’m in a super chill mood today! Even though it started with the hot water not turning off in the kitchen sink and Henry having to come home from work at 7:30AM to fix it, but you’ll have that when you’re renting a shanty in Brookline, I guess.

Before I get into anything else that’s on my mind, the Riot Fest lineup was released today and because I’m a cat that wishes to be killed I guess, I went and peeked. I had every intention of being like, “Cool story but I’m good.” I mean, we’ll be seeing PTV the next weekend here in PGH so there’s that. But I called Henry anyway because I got excited when I saw Sugar and Public Image Ltd. I even prefaced the call with, “Now I’m not saying I want to go to Riot Fest, but…” and then I read him the list of bands I was interested in, which happened to double upon second glance.

A third scrutinization has me 99.9% sold and adding tickets to the cart “just to see.”

What’s crazy is that before I even said I wanted to go, Henry was already acting like it was possibly in the cards and keeps saying, “We’ll talk when I get home.”

So, I guess I’m in the “negotiations” stage of Riot Fest planning. That was a whirlwind! From “not interested, but” to “I mean yeah, I do kind of want to” in 10 minutes.

(Also LOL @ Daisy Grenade—I can’t escape them! But that’s fine because I don’t want to!)

What else! Oh yeah, I never fully talked about our day on Monday because of the suicide on my street. But we did have a decent afternoon doing some antiquing after the god awful Memorial Day parade that slithers past our house every year, upsetting all of the animals and leaving trash and horse poop on the street. Thanks for that, parade organizers!!! Here’s Henry, “Oh, they’ll send someone back to clean that up.” LOL OK in what world? Because the shit remained in huge clumps all day, getting ground more and more into the asphalt as each car cruised over it, and then eventually sluicing away in a shit stream after it eventually rained.

Both antique shops were in Ambridge. The first one was mid and I felt that it had unreasonable prices.

I snapped this picture with my baby Kodak because I am getting into journaling again, but real journaling, and wanted to start adding sketches. So I used this one for my Memorial Day page! I’m still in the beginning “work with what you’ve got” phase a/k/a I have limited supplies and am just kind of scribbling to shake the rust off the creative side of my brain that has become stale and moldy from unuse over this last decade. Very low stakes! Here’s how it turned out, I spent approx. 10 minutes on this because I don’t have the time to be churning out “masterpieces” these days lol:

Bro I legit thought I spelled antiquing wrong and that would be the only thing that would bother me, to be honest!

There’s a vintage Hoover in there somewhere.

I didn’t buy anything from this place BUT there was a shelf of laserdiscs all the way in the back and I was excited because Amadeus was one. But then it got me thinking: Why have I never looked into laserdiscs as a collector item for my favorite movies?? So I went to eBay and not only did I find one for The Lost Boys, but I FOUND A JAPANESE IMPORT! The cover was so cool so I BOUGHT IT.

The second antique place was more my style – multiple rooms that were loosely themed, and the guy running the place was SUPER CHATTY and offered his shoppers popcorn and candy. OK, pal, I’ll stay! Say less!

I ended up buying a tin noise maker with clown faces on it (you know the things, they’re a dime a dozen at antique shops) and this folk art crucifix which is now hanging in the bathroom:

On the way home, we stopped at Rockin’ Cat Cafe for matcha, which Henry said they didn’t have (how did he know??) but they had a huge sign out front that literally said WE HAVE MATCHA or something. God he’s so annoying sometimes.

Just weird to think that while we were doing this, all the drama up the street was either about to unfold or already unfolding. Still feel sick over that!

Back to journaling though, I even got out one of my old vacation journals because I found a cup sleeve from the Ryan Cafe in Korea and I recently figured out that I can glue those in such a way to my journal pages that they become pockets! I’m sure there are millions of tutorials out there for that but I swear to god this is something that just occured to me when I found a cup sleeve I was keeping from one of our last trips to Philly and was about to paste into on a page when I thought: WAIT! JUST DO THREE EDGES AND THEN STICK THINGS IN THERE! This is in the back of my “everyday” journal:

Thank god I never throw things like this away, I’m such a sentimental pack rat!

I did, however, get inspo from a YouTube video recently where someone used a postcard as a page insert in her travel journal and I wanted to try it because this is GENIUS. I always end up with extra postcards because I forget that I don’t have a lot of friends to send them too (lol, #sadsackentersthechat).

In my old vacation journal, I had a postcard from Busan that I never ended up sending, so I taped it into the front to act as a page, and then printed out some pictures of us from Gamcheon Culture Village on the blank side. Then I sent it to Chooch because I have to giddily share all of my “journaling era” updates with him, like he gives even a shred of a shit. He did say “That’s cool” though, and then “Peenlop jump scare” so at least I know he watched the whole 8 seconds.

I usually don’t bring my vacation journal with me when we do small road trips but now I’m really stoked to bring it on the short, 3-day trip we’re doing over my birthday weekend (WITH CHOOCH) and he was like, “Great, can’t wait.” I even have a little carrying case for all of my journaling tools and accessories, LOL. I am definitely more focused on the actual writing portion of journaling though so this will be a fun exercise for me to maybe rely less on words and more on sketches and ephemera (tickets stubs, etc) that I accumulate. I was already doing that in my haunted house journals and my last two vacation journals but it was contained more to the front and back filler pages and less woven into the narrative, if that makes sense?

For example:

I’m just happy to have something to be excited about again!

What else….we finally started watching the show “From” after several friends hyped it to us. Will probs finish the first season tonight – I like it so far!

Meanwhile, I am still obsessing over “Obsession” and am dying for someone other than Henry and Chooch  to watch it so I can talk about it. I think I ruined Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie for Chooch because I became so hyper-fixated on it and texted him to death over it so I am trying not to also ruin Obsession for him because he is super stoked on it still. I just cannot stress how masterful this fucking movie was. I know horror movies tend to get shafted when it comes to awards because god forbid the horror genre is “lesser than,” but this film needs its damn flowers. If Amy Madigan was able to collect trophies for “Weapons” (liked that movie and she was cool in it but….huh? I was genuinely confused) then Inde Navarrette better be MORE than just nominated.

OK, I think I have successfully emptied my brain of all that it needed to transmit onto her. Ciao for now you juicy little steamed bao!

(I ALWAYS SAY THIS BUT SHOULD THAT BE MY SIGNATURE SIGN OFF???)

Rimetea, Romania

It’s always a crap shoot with these cameras, but I brought one of my toy cameras – the Diana – to Romania with me because it’s been literally over 15 years since I used her. In fact, there was a roll of film in her that we never even got developed (there was nothing salvageable on it, sadly). These cameras might be cheap AF, but the film really isn’t, especially when there’s no guarantee that the pictures will turn out.

But, when in Romania, right?? I had two rolls and only used up one full one and was pleasantly surprised that every INTENTIONAL shot I took actually came out. Then there were the three fuck ups, but we knew about those so those ones weren’t a shock, lol.

Anyway, here they are! I’m going to get them printed, definitely.

Signature Green Window in Rimetea

Merry Cemetery, Sapanta

Church in the Merry Cemetery

Saxon Cemetery, Sighisoara

OK we didn’t get to the Sighisoara section of the trip recaps yet but I will tell you now that it was my favorite town in Romania. I miss it so much everyday! (And I love saying it out loud: SiggiSHWARA.

I don’t know what all is on the other roll. I guess I’ll have to make Chooch pose for some pictures while he’s home, and maybe take it to Chicago next month to use up the rest of the roll. WITH INTENTION! This shit is expensive, I’m not going to take 8 pictures of myself in the mirror with the flash on like my grandma used to do when she wanted to use up a roll that needed developed, lol.

(Speaking of, I miss Ritz Camera sooo much. I have so many memories of going to the mall between shifts at Olan Mills to drop off my film (2 hour development!), charge a bunch of slutty clothes from Contempo to my corporate American Express that my mom paid, and then maybe go to the movies by myself before having to go back to work! Split shifts, man,)

I haven’t painted in so many years at this point but I wanted to paint a portrait of Barb to bring to her memorial dinner next week and I think I am ok with how it turned out. She was always so supportive of my art and writing, so encouraging and always cheering me on. I just felt inspired to do one more for her.

The background is wallpaper from my Pappap’s house and it just needs to be cut and properly framed – the portrait itself is painted on acrylic paper and backed with thick, sturdy cardboard to give it more depth once it’s framed.

Ugh. Grief is the absolute worst. This helped me process a little handful of it though. Still driving myself nuts with the “what if”s, though I guess that’s to be expected.

Tonight, I’ve been watching clips from super old episodes of Running Man (Korean variety show) and that has been very therapeutic but also bittersweet because I want to go back to when I first got into these things and relive it all over again (another part of my life that Barb supported!!!!).

I’m going to make this short and sweet because I have a headache and I think I was poisoned.

—-THE PHONE CALL—-

Henry received a phone call from a friend on Saturday and for some reason, Chooch and I found this to be HI-larious.

“For some reason,” lol.

Immediately, Chooch and I activated our PEST SWITCH and clung to Henry with our ears pressed against his phone. He kept shrugging us off and eventually was able to get up from the couch (hello it was his fault for starting a phone conversation in the same room as us to begin with) and slowly moved onto the back porch.

I say “slowly” because we were hanging off of him. Finally, he turned around and snapped at us, getting busted by his friend on the other end who thought Henry was yelling at him. The last thing we heard before the porch door slammed in our faces was, “No not you. I’m talking to these two nebby* kids.”

*(Nebby means nosy if you live in Pittsburgh. YAY FOR LEARNING.)

“I bet he’s talking to the manager of Blush,” Chooch said, because we love to speculate that Henry is a regular at this stripclub downtown.

Then I had the brilliant idea to go outside and try to hear the conversation from below the open porch windows, but our fucking mechanic neighbor was drilling in his garage and some broad in a house behind us was screaming at her dogs. RUDE.

We tried to go back inside and act like we were just hanging out in the kitchen near the porch door for no reason, what, I’m just over here super naturally sweeping the kitchen floor like I always do why is this strange, but Henry caught us and started flashing us “I WILL KILL YOU” and “YOU FUCKERS CAN STARVE TONIGHT” glares with his eyes and then flipped us off too, wow, such class.

Chooch puked from laughing so hard.

BUT THEN I HAD THE BEST IDEA EVER.

“Chooch, go ask Blake if we can come in and try to hear through his side of the porch!” I hoarsely whispered. I hung back inside our front door because Blake is kind of an adult now and I wasn’t sure if he would be like, “Grow up, guys” but then dumb Chooch kept tossing glances at me from Blake’s front porch while he was asking, and then Blake poked his head out and looked over and saw me half-hiding, so he was just like, “Oh for god’s sake, come on in.”

Eavesdropping from Blake’s side of the house! We couldn’t really hear anything but baritone muffles. :(

By this point, we had lost interest and then Henry was off the phone and we were like, “What, you were on the phone?”

I don’t know, but something about this gave me Sunday Lock Out Vibes and I couldn’t stop laughing about it when I tried to tell people at work on Monday and they were just like, “Why are you like this.”

—-THE WHITE PIZZA INQUIRY—-

On Sunday, the three of us went to Anthony’s Coal-Fire Pizza to surprise my dad with a birthday lunch. Since we arrived first, we were perusing the menu trying to find a happy-medium for a large pizza the three of us could share. AW, A FAMILY PIZZA.

“Do you like white pizza?” I asked Chooch, a gentle inquiry if you ask me, yet this innocent question made him unhinged, you guys. He just snapped the fuck out on me.

“SERIOUSLY?! NO! NO, I DO NOT LIKE WHITE PIZZA! OH MY GOD, HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO ASK ME THAT?!” he screeched, and I was honestly stunned for a second, but don’t worry, Bitch Mommy came sprinting out on the heels of my initial stunned reaction.

So then the two of us were full-fledged quarreling in the middle of a restaurant and Henry was mouthing pleas at us. I DON’T READ LIPS, BITCH. Somehow though, the subject changed to Henry’s alleged conversation with the manager of Blush the previous day so then we remembered that we were wasting our energy fighting each other when we should have been using it to make fun of Henry. I think Henry was just happy that we weren’t starting kinetic ire-fires anymore because he actually told us that he was kicked out of a strip club in Florida too, not just Texas!

“That one wasn’t my fault though. It was the guys I was with,” he said, while ALMOST-KIND-OF SMILING.

WHOA.

Then my dad and Ryan arrived and luckily Chooch was able to restrain his shitty preteen attitude and we had a very lovely birthday lunch with my dad who I don’t see often enough and that’s totally my fault. Meanwhile, the waitress who brought over our pizza exclaimed out of nowhere how adorable Chooch is (??) and he sat there with this smug “I know” look on his face and Henry was like, “He’s only cute when he’s quiet” and THAT IS THE TRUTH. Then our waiter was all, “WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING?” because Chooch had his DS with him after a year of not caring about it (kids, amirite) and then they bonded over Pokemon and all I could think was, “BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?! I’M HERE TOO!”

But I got to tell my dad and Ryan about our trip to Korea so that made up for it not getting any attention from the waitstaff.

Anyway the whole point of this is that I was obsessing over the whole white pizza fiasco thing because if there is one thing you should know about me, it’s that I will latch on to the dumbest thing you tell me, whether it’s something you hate (don’t tell me you hate clowns, let’s put it that way) or some embarrassing moment you had that I witnessed — I will hold these things close to my chest and you’ll never know when I’ll throw it back in your face in the form of a greeting card or a homemade t-shirt.

Or a painting, like this one that I made for Barb which features her least favorite actor, Bill Paxton.

Naturally, I started trolling Chooch as soon as we got home. The first thing I did was run into his room and leave him a white pizza message on his whiteboard. (And please, don’t call CPS on me for the other message. I don’t even own a belt.)

And then it happened, my giddy obsession grew strong enough to push me out of painting retirement long enough to make him this wooden plaque, which he is less than pleased about but I think he secretly is craving white pizza now.

I think his next birthday cake should be a white pizza.

Anyway, I haven’t felt this inspired since HAM SANDWICH AF, when I made a commemorative painting:

OK, now I have to go lay down. I’ve had a headache all day and then it turns out Henry does too and we’ve since determined that it’s possibly from when I sprayed Chooch’s white pizza plaque with varnish in a non-ventilated area. It was nice knowing you, Internet friends.

Pee Wee’s Big Adventure is one of my favorite movies of all time, and one of probably only three that I ever quote from. (The amount of times I’ve referenced the Alamo on this blog alone is really pathetic.) I had so much fun painting this and kind of don’t want to part with it.

One of my most vivid childhood memories is sitting in the family room of my house in South Park, watching this on HBO with my bff Christy who lived down the street, and asking her what “scenery” meant because Mickey tells Pee Wee to just enjoy the scenery. She explained it perfectly well but my kindergarten brain couldn’t comprehend it. It seemed like such a complicated concept.

Scenery.

I was a dumb kid.

Anyway, I just really love painting birds on wires, so this just felt very natural to me. Methodical and cathartic, especially while the Penguins were getting slaughtered last night by the Bruins. :(

I have some more custom paintings on tap (I keep saying I’m going to take a break and then a request comes in and I can’t say no!) but then I’m going to start one called The Pittsburgh Zoo, a painting of various famous Pittsburghers with animal bodies (like the Buscemi and John Water ones).

Probably Mr. Rogers, Mario Lemieux, Sophie Maslof, Andy Warhol, and God only knows who else.

NO STEELERS THOUGH.

In other news, I’m drinking blueberry cobbler coffee and it feels like warm arms enveloping my broken soul.

This has been a quick update posted from my phone.

Hey boy, here’s a quick update on the fake art that I sling over at Somnambulant.

My friend Bridget requested a portrait of her and her boyfriend, and she specifically asked for glitter and I was more than happy to comply. I would use glitter on EVERYTHING if I could. I still want to glitter our ceilings but that might be the straw that finally breaks Henry’s back of steel.

And here’s the painting I did for the Warhol customer, and I realized that I never got a picture of the final, touched-up painting. This was one of the progress shots I sent her, so it looks slopp(ier than my paintings usually do):

Her boyfriend is from England, so she wanted me to paint them as tea bags (specifically the pyramid-shaped ones). Years and years ago, she had me do a sushi couples painting — I like when people throw out-of-the-box ideas at me! (I mean, once I’m done having my I CAN’T DO ITTTTTT pity party.)

I can’t remember if I posted this here yet, but after David Bowie died, my friend Kendahl requested a Goblin King portrait. I was so excited about it that I considered calling off work to start it immediately. (DON’T WORRY, I DIDN’T. I’m still The Best Employee Ever.)

And then my friend Lizz had a baby so I made her this name plaque for him:

All the eyeballs came out of an old copy of Alternative Press. There’s some Vic Fuentes up in there and…I think Jack Barakat and Alex Gaskarth. Possibly some of the guys from Real Friends.
And my current favorite!   So last week, I was getting ready for bed when the image of Steve Buscemi as an octopus popped into my head. I figured, who cares if it’s too niche or obscure to sell, I HAVE TO PAINT IT. I started it that night, when I should have been sleeping, and had it done by the next day. If only I could churn out my customs that quickly. Ugh.

Anyway, he’s available over on Etsy if you or anyone you know are really into that kind of thing.

And lastly, I’d like to say goodbye to Norm! He’s on his way to his new home in DC where I’m sure he will be happy. (His story can be read here if you’re interested in being lulled to sleep.)

Thank god for Valentine’s Day keeping me busy! Custom paintings and serial killer Valentines—thanks for keeping me in business, sickos! I mean that lovingly.

***

I have several paintings that I started but then I started thinking of our annual Easter bunny pictures so now everything else in my life is at a standstill, on the back-burner, in limbo, because now this is all I can think of and why am I at work right now when I should be running around getting costumes put together, ugh.

I think Henry is really going to hate this one.

I’m in zombie mode—winter depression has officially sunk in. So before I go back to moping on the couch while crying to Balance & Composure, here are some custom paintings I churned out for Christmas. Grateful to be so busy!     

I’m taking a hiatus from custom paintings just for a bit so I can work on finishing some things to add to my Somnambulant shop. I’m going to try to actually sell a thing or two from it this year! Woo, 2016. 

Seriously, me all weekend, step off:  

#hateful

Over the weekend, I found this dumb picture of a boy at Goodwill and I decided to buy it and turn it into Chooch’s official 4th grade portrait, because even though I am always singing the I’M SO BUSY song, I somehow also have too much time on my hands. How is this possible, I don’t know.

So I started painting Chooch’s big head over top of the basic boy in the picture, and he was not pleased. He was also kind of in a bad mood that day but one thing about Chooch is that he strongly dislikes being teased. Originally, the only thing I added to the background was a picture of a cat, but then Chooch sat down and started blabbing to us about god knows what and Henry was like, “Jesus Christ, do you ever shut up?” so I felt inclined to add a wallpaper of blah blah blahs.

Now he was REALLY irritated with his portrait.

This was the best picture I could get. Something about it makes camera lenses revolt.

Then I made it his profile picture on Facebook and he was all, “I’m going to kill you!” but we all know he secretly love it. Especially when his frenemy Barb commented on it!

He groaned, “Ugh, what does BARB want….”

Here’s his actual fourth grade school picture. You should see the actual class photo — he’s like a Crayola factory explosion compared to the other kids.

In other news, Wendy is visiting the office with the baby and everyone rushed over to her but I was just like, “What? I’ve already seen that baby like four times because I’m an awesome friend.” So there.

Oh well. That’s all I’ve got for right now because tonight is the Emarosa show and I am honest-to-god trembling at my desk here because I’m so excited!

My stomach hurts!

Hello! Today is the day we pretend it’s show and tell in Kindergarten and I show you recent paintings I made and then possibly tell you about them too. (HEADS UP, COURTNEY, WINNER OF THE GIVEAWAY! Click away from this page if you still want your Robert Smith painting to be a surprise, because his picture is in this post!)

So here we have a custom goth portrait for an Etsy customer. I like painting cemeteries, so I was down with this one. I just asked Glenn if he wants me to paint one for him and his wife and he said, “Nope” without hesitation.

I painted this Dave Grohl (of Foo Fighters/Nirvana fame; I have learned this week that he is not as widely known as I thought) for my Twitter friend Lizz while catching up on episodes of Hindsight. The “footos” in his hand is a tip of the hat to the Mentos parody they did for the Big Me video. I’m not a big Foo fan (however, Everlong4L) but this one was really fun to paint and I was so happy with it that I decided to have a few prints available on Etsy, and if you know me, you know that I don’t really do the whole print thing very often!

The aforementioned winner of my giveaway a weeks ago requested ROBERT SMITH for her painting and I was like, “Be still my heart!” because hello, he’s my #1. But then I panicked because I was so worried I would eff up his beautiful face. Robert Smith you guys. Sigh. I scanned this one too, because I wanted a copy to keep, haha! Also, I owe my pal Elaine one as an art trade!

Friends that know me on Facebook and Instagram, please accept my apologies because you’re probably gagging at the sight of this by now, but here is my Valentine’s gift to Henry:

LOLOLOL.

Anyway, the whole purpose here is that I’m always thinking of the next concert/music fest and he’s always thinking of whenever the fuck he’s going to finally be able to get some sleep. I like it because there’s room left to add future fests that we WILL (not MIGHT) attend.

I couldn’t wait any longer (like, a whole whopping 7 days, I know) to give it to him so I made him take it last night even though he had been previously dodging my present-giving advances because he wanted it to be a surprise on Valentine’s Day. But I had a really shitty day yesterday and he let me vent on him, so I decided it was a good time to present it.

HE’S ALMOST SMILING!

I know the popular opinion is that I’m like this huge shrew when it comes to my relationship with Henry—you know, because people shadow us 24/7 and clearly know that I’m not an “attentive housewife” — the only part of that which is true is the house wife part, because bitch please. But I do have my moments.

And because I feel bad for some of my older paintings, and because I have had donuts on the brain which is weird because I’m generally not a donut person but lately? BURY ME IN A COFFIN OF CRULLERS. So today I will put some of the spotlight back on some paintings I made when I was going through a weird donut phase last year around this time too (seasonal donut disorder?).

First, may I present to you good ol’ Anthropodonut, which is still up for grabs!:

And second, my favorite, Eat Shit:

My friend Alyson Hell speaks French and tells me that this is how you’d say “eat shit” while wearing a beret and eating a quiche.

I think I will take a break from faces and paint some more donuts this weekend. <3

This is what I like to call: no time to write a real post so let’s look at my fake art!

First up, for your eyeballs, we have a piece called Crimson & Craniums. This is made with spraypaint, which makes Henry nervous because technically I’m not allowed to use spraypaint because I can’t be trusted to use it responsibly. This one is no longer available because Wendy saw it on Instagram and claimed it. Have I mentioned how glad I am that Wendy uses Instagram now?)

Hey guys, hey: I call this one “kooskõla: a Ghost painting.” Like, why do ghosts all gotta be white? It’s available for purchase! Makes a great Xmas gift for people who like: gifts, things, and sniffing paintings.

THIS ONE MAKES ME SAD. Perhaps you’ve been reading my blog for a few years and remember the time when one of my co-workers had an orange ball that he liked to obnoxiously bounce and toss back and forth with another co-worker? So then I kidnapped the ball and held it hostage? Anyway, the owner of that damn orange ball has left the Law Firm and everyone is sad because he was such an awesome guy!

So some of the managers were like “Erin you should make Chris a goodbye painting. Because now that we know about your fake art, we are going to exploit this” Because I am happy that people like my fake art enough to commission things, I said yes even though I am drowning in a pool of obligations. Because Chris is worth it!

He is really into poker, so that’s the theme I was asked to run with. I decided to paint him as a playing card. The No Conflicts thing is something that’s specific to our department. Chris actually moved to Memphis over a year ago but had been working remotely, so I sadly won’t get to see his reaction when he gets the painting in the mail. I hope he likes it!

To cap off this round-up of paint-stuffs, here is a Phish painting that Wendy (my #1 customer, apparently) commissioned for a Xmas present for her stepdaughter. I’m not a Phish fan, but it was fun because I got to use all of the colors. And I like painting faces.

But not face-painting.

+++++++
OK, that’s all. I’m unfortunately too booked up for any more Xmas custom orders, but if you wanna request an “anytime” painting, hit me up and I will add it to my to-do list!

And now I’ll resume sobbing over the Penguins game.

HELLO JUST CHECKING IN! Here is some stuff that I have made this past month. I have admittedly not had as much time as I’d have liked, and my list of custom paintings have been growing, so thank you guys for liking my stuff! It will never be something I take for granted, I promise. <3 Ok, let's do this.

Custom portrait of my friend AJ’s dog, Diego. My cat Marcy was NOT happy about this one and I had fun flaunting it in her face.

More skulls for prizes at work. These dudes are so much fun for me to make because it’s quick and I can paint them on the couch while catching up on my really important shows like Gracepoint (actually not feeling this show as much as I had hoped to though) and Red Band Society. I didn’t watch this last season of Teen Wolf fast enough and MTV took them off On Demand already, ugh. My life is so rough.

I’m going to be making a bunch more of these for the shop and they will be super cheap so you should buy one!

Cupcake Cavalcade! I made this for my dear friend Kendahl’s birthday. CUPCAKES!

I just made this variation of Somnambulant Skulls last night because I had a strong desire to work with crayons. The background is painted. This one is available on Etsy right now!

A custom Guardians of the Galaxy-inspired mix tape painting for my friend Casandra. <3 I think Henry and I are going to start making larger pendants of my Twin Peaks, Lizzie Borden and Golden Girls paintings to sell at Horror Realm next March. Every time we try our hands at pendants, we end up failing miserably or losing interest, so who knows if this will happen. I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED.

Cyber friends, let’s take a break from the Riot Fest posts and look at the recent art I made. (Just pretend like I’m your favorite preschooler for a minute.)

(Also, it’s Monday and my week has gotten off to a difficult, albeit comical.)

My pal Lisa needed a wedding gift for her friends so she asked me to make a Cupcake Couple painting for them. I haven’t made one of these in a really long time, so that was fun!

I painted a portrait of my friend Angie and her cat, Bandit, a few weeks ago. <3

Lizzie Borden! This is a terrible picture, I just realized. I clearly need to change this photo on Etsy. And get my eyes examined ASAP.

When I was home sick last week, I was really restless so I started this serial killer parade, half-slumped over on the couch. I finished it yesterday. (l-r: Dahmer, Fish, Ramirez, BTK, Gacy.)

There’s also a new addition to the non compos cards catalog:

I have a bunch of customs lined up, including a portrait of Phish and one like the serial killer parade, but with wrestlers. I’m totally grateful that you guys have been keeping me busy. Thank you! And Henry thanks you too, because the only time I’m quiet is while I’m painting. If you want anything (CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!), let me know!

Also? I jokingly suggested that someone should request a nude portrait of Steve Buscemi, with a cactus-penis that has eyeball impaled on the thorns. And the more I pictured that, the more I wanted to paint it for real. So…I’ll be working on that too, in between the custom orders!

Dear Blog,

Today I did some volunteer work with some other co-workers and while I would love to write about that right now, I’m laying on the couch instead, half-dead, because manual labor does not agree with me.

So instead, I will share some of my latest paintings with you.
My friend Elizabeth asked me to paint her something for her bathroom. At first, I was going to do some pink flamingos because she said she was going to hang a Polyester poster signed by John Waters in the bathroom, but then at the last minute I got a different idea and went with that, hoping she wouldn’t hate it.

She said it was terrifying and still wanted to! Thank god! And then Kara wanted one for her friend, so I got to paint John Waters’s mug all over again and it made me laugh evilly because I used to be “friends” with this super annoying boy who worshipped John Waters and man, do I hate that boy now but I bet he would LOVE this painting, hahahaha.

And then last week Katrina suggested that I paint the Golden Girls and I jumped on that one because I adore the G.Girls so much and staring at their faces all last weekend brought back fond memories of sleeping over my grandparents’ house on Saturday nights and watching the Golden Girls, Empty Nest, and Hunter.

I literally cry for the 80s sometimes, you guys. It was so much better then.

I also did a portrait of my friend Angie, but she wants to be surprised, so I won’t post that one yet!

Don’t forget to check out my Somnambulant Art shop for other weird crap!

Over the weekend, I decided that I wanted to do a Twin Peaks-inspired series of portraits because I love that damn show so much. So I put Season 1 on Netflix and started with the Log Lady, because why not.

By Tuesday night, Agent Dale Cooper, Dead Laura Palmer and Dr. Jacoby had joined her…and then quickly left her. They were all sold yesterday!

(The Log Lady is still available, if anyone is interested!)

Last night, while Henry yelled at Pretty Little Liars (that show gets him so riled up!), I started on The Man From Another Place. It still needs a lot of touching up, which I’ll get to tonight, but here he is anyway:

There’s several more I want to add, but what kind of series would you want to see next? TELL ME. I’ve been thinking about vending at a local horror convention next winter and I need to build up my inventory, and quick! I’ll be selling my serial killer cards there, but I’d like to have some of my art on hand, as well.

(Hopefully I can also build up my social skills.)

I had this large piece of canvas just hanging around and I needed something to occupy myself so I started painting random people that I am/have been obsessed with at some point in my life. Just, off the top of my head, I picked celebs and it was oddly comforting. If I don’t have something to do, I’ll sit around and think about things and no one needs me thinking about things, believe me. Pittsburgh will inherent a pollution problem.

It took about a week, but I finished it last night! Henry is super stoked to have to see it every day for the rest of his life, but he’s going to be even more stoked when he has to go out and find the perfect gaudy frame for it.

Shortly after Chooch was born, Henry and I stumbled across Season 2 of So You Think You Can Dance and it was one of those things where we were fucking exhausted, Chooch was nursing so much that I was basically a couch-prisoner, and all we wanted was mindless entertainment. So we left it on. And then became obsessed. I never knew watching people dance could make me cry so much! So I picked Nigel Lythgoe, one of the original judges, to be the first person on the painting.

If you’ve been my friend since at least 2008, you know my love for gymnastics guru Bela Karolyi runs deep.

One of the best things about the advent of digital cable was The Game Show Network. All of those new channels to flip through and my friends and I never changed it from GSN. Especially if Match Game was on! I looooved Match Game and all of it’s amazing 1970s fashion and complete disregard for political correctness. My favorite panelist was Brett Somers and to this day, I covet those bug-eyed frames she wore with such panache. Fuck, she was fantastic.

My mom took me to see Hot to Trot starring Bobcat Goldthwait in the 1980s and ever since, I think of him every time I lose my shit with giddiness because my punch-drunk laugh sounds remarkably just like his retarded bray-like way of speaking.

Tammy Fay Bakker because she was such a train wreck. I was so obsessed with her for awhile that Henry made me a LiveJournal icon with her popping up from behind a hill. I don’t know, it’s just what I wanted, OK?

I was obsessed with “Romancing the Stone” when I was a kid, because why not. What a great kids movie, right? I watched this movie a lot because I thought Michael Douglas was so goddamn hot. Billy Ocean’s “When the Going Gets Tough” will never fail to make me think of this movie and how much I miss the 80s. AND THEN MICHAEL DOUGLAS, DANNY DEVITO AND KATHLEEN TURNER WERE IN THE VIDEO!

After I picked Billy to be one of the people on my painting, I decided to listen to him on Spotify for some inspiration, and was instantly reminded of the time in middle school when my friend Christy and I were at the mall and I decided to buy his greatest hits from the record store Waves on the third floor. But for some reason, I was embarrassed about this, I guess that was before I quit caring what people thought about my musical choices. So as I was paying, I loudly and theatrically shouted to Christy, who was only standing a foot away from me, “I SURE HOPE OUR FRIEND SUSIE LIKES THIS CD.”

I still have that CD too, and I regret nothing.

I’m sorry, Beyonce fans, but Barbara Streisand is the greatest female singer in the world. Sit the fuck down, Kanye. I have loved her ever since I was a kid, ESPECIALLY HER GUILTY ALBUM WITH THE BEE GEES OMG. But yeah, Barbara Streisand is the fucking shit and I will white knight her until I die.

Jeffrey Dahmer was my first foray into the dark underbelly of humanity. I remember watching the news coverage in real time and just thinking, “Holy shit, this is real life?” I’ve been super intrigued by serial killers ever since—obviously not in an adoration sense, but you know what I mean. I thought it would be apropos to include at least one serial killer on this painting since Henry and I spend so much time making our serial killer greeting cards and Jeffrey was actually the one that spawned those. The Christmas card with his mug on it was the first one I ever made.

So, there’s a quick little summary of what I was thinking when I painted this. I’m pretty excited that it’s done and I have eight random slices of my own personal pop culture preserved forever!