Sometimes I pause the wrist-slitting dirges that I love to play on repeat and give more uplifting songs a chance. The Used has always been of those bands that makes me feel punched in the gut, because they’ve sound-tracked so much that’s happened in my life (including the entire first book of the Christina Chronicles), that they have this strong emotional and psychic pull on me. It has always, my whole life, been easier for me to say, “Here, it’s like this” and then play someone a song by the Cure, etc., than to use words to explain how I feel.
I listen to “Box Full of Sharp Objects” and I’m 23, aborting my first baby. I listen to “Blue and Yellow” and I’m 24, wondering why the faint scent of someone’s lingering perfume in my car is making me so wistful, and then years later nearly breaking my neck to turn it off anytime it randomly played because my heart just wasn’t strong enough. I listen to “I Caught Fire” and I’m 25 again, giddily dyeing Easter eggs and succumbing to spring fever, and then turning up the volume for “Sound Effects and Overdramatics” while Henry’s blood pressure raises in tandem. Let’s not forget being 29, listening to “Liar, Liar” and straight up raging over the realization that I no longer knew my best friend anymore. And then I listen to “Best of Me” and I’m 30, angry and bitter, not understanding how someone could so easily shut the door on me.
Each album is a different chapter of the saga and I eventually had to stop listening altogether. It started to become masochistic.
But they just released a new album and morbid curiosity got the best of me. I posted this song today because “Together Burning Bright” doesn’t make me ache, it actually does make me feel like everything is going to be alright, like everything has come full circle. After these last few months (years, really), that’s exactly the kind of message I need. And perhaps you need something like that this morning too.
(I’ve been very much in my head lately; sorry if I’m not making sense.)
The Used is going to be at Warped Tour this summer. It will be the first time seeing them since I got in a fight with some drunk guy at their 2010 show at the House of the Blues in Cleveland. It will also only be the second time seeing them with Henry – the first was in 2003, I think. Back when Bert still puked on stage and Henry wanted to shoot himself.
I should be writing. But I was up kind of late watching hockey; listening to music and drinking coffee is the only thing I’m motivated to do right now. Although I did finally finish editing the photos from Chooch’s birthday party, so maybe I’ll write about that sometime tonight! “Hooray!” said no one!