[Alternate title: I’m Broke So This Is Yr Bday Prez]
Henry, you always put me and Chooch first, so on your birthday, I am going to feed myself (I don’t know what Chooch is going to do) and take the trolley to work (and not even just because I have no choice today).
(OMG you didn’t even leave me trolley fare?! ….that’s OK. No really, it’s OK. This time.)
(Never mind! I found it. You’re so lucky.)
I’ll even refrain from mentioning Jonny Craig today.
And while I’m at work, you can watch all the Criminal Minds your little heart desires. Treat yourself, big guy.
And even though you explaining to me the safety of those things window washers stand on (“NOWADAYS THEY’RE BUILT RIGHT INTO THE BUILDINGS!”) makes me peace out faster than when you tried to teach me military time, you’re still my favorite person in the whole entire world to be around.
Yes, even when you’re being a nag:
Here’s to many more years of disappointed frowning, know-it-all nature strolling, Kitten Patroling, Warped Tour-hating, Air Force jet-gazing and clandestine Pretty Little Liar fan-boying. Happy birthday to a real Oh Honestly Hero and the best boyfriend/emergency contact anyone could ask for. I’m so glad you picked me all those years ago!