Sometime back in April, Nina came over to my desk at work and excitedly told me that her friends were planning a zombie surprise party for their 16-year-old daughter and would I come and do the makeup? Of course, being the anxiety-ridden fool that I am, the thought of putting makeup on strangers seemed terrifying, but I said yes without hesitation because I’m all about doing things that make me uncomfortable. If anything, these situations usually turn out to be memorable in one way or another.
I had to be at their house at 5 yesterday, so of course I waited until 2:30 to go to the party store and stock up on white and green cream and spray blood (though I should note that Andrea’s My Pretty Zombie kit, which I have used at least 6 times since last October, was ample enough to get 15+ people made up; I couldn’t believe it).
I got to bring Henry and Chooch with me, thank god for security blankets, although having them there did me no good while I was doing makeup, because Chooch had already made 4 friends and had disappeared, and Henry instantly had a beer in his hand and was talking to the birthday girl’s dad, Dave, probably about boring Professional Driver things and being in the SERVICE, because those are Henry’s hot topics.
I was a nervous wreck, frantically scrubbing makeup into the pores of strangers—it was your regular zombie assembly line—and that’s pretty awkward, just being introduced to someone and then being all up in their face. Luckily, every single person there was incredibly down-to-earth and didn’t make me feel dumb or like I was hired help. Every five minutes, Dave’s wife Diane made sure I had alcohol in my glass.
These were my kind of people.
I even got to zombify some of the grandparents too, it was incredible. One lady let me spritz her bouffant with blood and then Dave’s dad cut a huge hole in his shirt and had me trace his liver surgery scar with Fresh Scab. All his idea. It was at that point that I had become hyper-aware of the fact that I was in the company of Awesome People.
When Dallas arrived, everyone swarmed her car. She was pretty stunned and I was honored to get to be there to watch!
Zombie Nina. She kept telling me at work that I would be fine and I should have known that if these were her friends, it was going to be laid-back. She did, however, give me copious warnings about Dave’s unfiltered sexual comments, which were incredibly entertaining and definitely made me loosen up (well, that and the unlimited, free-flowing sangria I was swallowing all night). I think Henry really looks up to him.
I was so self-conscious about my makeup job, though. I kept sidling up to Henry and whispering, “I fucked it up, didn’t I? It doesn’t look too good, does it?” I was just trying to get everyone done as quickly as possible and I sure hope they didn’t hate it.
Probably one of the 87 times Dave was warning Nina that he’s going to bang her before she moves. (Side note: Nina is moving out of state in the near future. Dislike.) Yes, that’s her husband sitting next to him. God, that guy was great!
I had my real camera in my iCarly messenger bag the whole time, but I forgot. And then when I remembered, I was too drunk to care. They had a guy taking professional photos all night though (when he wasn’t draping his rats on old ladies’ necks).
Chooch, after 6 hours of sweating.
Morgan and the birthday girl, who I ended up spending the last hour of the party talking to about horror movies and dinosaurs and OMG we have so much in common. I can’t believe I forgot to ask her if she likes Jonny Craig, though. Anyway, that girl is so sweet and I’m really happy that I got to help out a little to make her 16th birthday a memorable one.
Nina was so worried that I wasn’t having a good time, and I was like, “Dude, it’s dark out now and I’m still here, sitting in the backyard with all these strangers. I guess I must be having a good time!” I mean, my phone even died early on, so I had no concept of what time it was, and completely didn’t care. I thought it would be a totally awkward experience, like I was just the hired help, and why is she still here? But everyone was so good about making us feel at home there. And Chooch only pouted in their garage four times!
What a great night. Even though Nina openly mocked me numerous times for having a Caboodle!