Sep 242008
 

Urgent. Will die without reading.

  • 15:14 it would be awesome if i came home from work tonight and the DISHES WERE WASHED. #
  • 15:18 When I learned what “sack” meant, I cheered real loud. #
  • 21:06 I took online tests and chopped invoices all night. And got paid a lot to do that. #
  • 21:12 I love delivery drivers. #
  • 21:46 Welcomed home from first nite of work by my bitchy boyfriend. Time to wipe the blood from your vagina, henry. #
  • 21:47 Popcorn and chocolate milk for dinner, I guess. #

 


  • 09:58 Today is a day for some E.99 Eternal and ass-capping. Whutwhut. But first I’ll make coffee. #
  • 11:50 I wonder how long it will take Chooch to draw a comparison between raisins and boogers. #
  • 12:45 When chooch hurts himself on something, he calls the offending object a bastard and pretends to shoot it. #
  • 14:34 Every time I look at Madchen Amick, I see a former man. #
  • 21:40 A vigorous handshake from a driver caused me to slosh burning hot coffee all over my left hand. I’ve been christened. #
  • 21:56 I swear I barely watched TV until the WB and now the CW began pandering to my eternal teenager. #
  • 22:38 Am so tired but can’t sleep knowing that in 24 hours, I’ll be freaking out at the Chiodos show. Its like xmas eve!! Without the egg nog. #
  • 23:48 So far, there are no femulletted employees at my new job to replace the gaping vacancy in my heart left by Tina. #

 


  • 09:28 @fondabruises thank you! I woke up and squealed! #
  • 09:40 On today’s agenda: 1. Deflect toys chucked by son. 2. Jumprope. 3. Hassle Henry. 4. Dig holes 4 bodies. 5. CHIODOS. 6. ORGASM. 7. DIE. #
  • 11:30 I will be so sad if the day ever comes where I don’t get butterflies before a show. Please don’t ever fly away, butterflies. #
  • 11:48 Attempted to make scrambled eggs w/ cheese. The cheese ended up avalanching the eggs. How very Wisconsin. (Read: binding) #

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  5 Responses to “Tweets in a Bundle”

  1. I can’t wait until you know your new coworkers well enough to despise them and write about it for my workday reading pleasures.

  2. How can you look at Shelly from Twin Peaks and see a man?! I never see her as anything but a waitress serving Agent Dale pie.

  3. what an exciting group of tweets!!!

    new job AND chiodos…

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