I really want to change my name to Erin Appledale. I mean, consider how many Erin Kellys there are in the world. There were TWO OTHER Erin Kellys going to Pitt the same time I was. So that’s at least three Erin Kellys that I know of in this city alone.
Besides, Erin Appledale sounds so down-to earth, like I’m someone you’d approach without hesitation and suddenly find your arms wrapped around my back. Then I’d pluck a lollipop from my Longaberger basket and tweak your cheek.
So the other day, when Henry was putting together the lamest portfolio* you ever did see, and he asked, “What do you want to call this?” I was like, “Duh. Erin Appledale’s Ugly Photography.” He left out the “ugly” but kept the Appledale. And I stared at it for a good long while, making love to its sweet farmland charm.
I think people will take to the change. Maybe not my family. My dad might be a little scorned at how disposable his surname is. And besides, it’s been two months now since this seed was planted and I haven’t changed my mind yet. That’s huge.
It was either that or Applebottom.
* So, I placed this ad on Craigslist, offering to take free publicity shots of local bands. I figure, it’s a hobby that calms my nerves and (sort of) keeps me out of trouble, so it’s a win/win. Plus, I’m not a professional and would not feel comfortable charging poor bands for something that I only want to do for fun. Like, a photoshoot with a purpose. Then a local hiphop group answered my ad and I was like, “Oh shit, this is scary. Now I really have to do this” but they asked to see my portfolio and I was like, “Oh yeah, I’ll get that right to you. HENRY MAKE ME A PORTFOLIO??!!!” And that is why I now have a portfolio for no good reason.