Kennywood: Holiday Lights, Part 1

Dear Friend(s?),

It might come as a shock to you, but I really, really, really like amusement parks. Specifically, I like the creepy, old dark rides. The fun houses. The tunnels of love. The park attractions that smell like your Great Aunt Esther’s cedar closet in 1964.

Our Castle Blood friends, Chris and Kari, are members of the Darkride and Funhouse Enthusiasts club and convinced me to sign up for the family membership.

Twist my arm, seriously.

(DAFE.org is actually what made me want to go to Waldameer Park so badly over the summer, so it was a no-brainer to finally become a member.)

Anyhow, what perfect timing – Kennywood Park is open for a few weekends this year with a Christmas theme, and not only did DAFE members get free admission the night after Thanksgiving, we also got to enter the park before the general public and take a lights on tour of Ghostwood Estate, which is all dudded up for the holidays.

We met up with Chris and Kari, and their daughter Katelyn whom Chooch pretends to dislike, but we all know better.

I love Katelyn. Not only does she keep my kid on his toes (not an easy feat), but she’s got some scene kid swag! And how can I not love a kid who totally appreciates my style? During the course of the night, she told me that she likes my:

• boots
• rings
• iPhone case
• scarf

If she had said Jonny Craig, I probably would have asked Chris and Kari if they can adopt me.

Ghostwood Estate, all dolled up with yuletide bling.

Chris giving the kids the parental “don’t touch a goddamn thing in there!” speech.

Chooch’s response to authority.

Ghostwood Estate is relatively new to Kennywood. Another darkride, the Goldrusher, was removed to make room for this update on the darkride genre. All the cars are equipped with laser guns, giving it an interactive twist. Hitting the targets makes all kinds of shit explode within the scene, so that’s a fun bonus.

Oh, and it also records everyone’s points, so this isn’t something that Henry and I are wildly competitive with. Not at all.

I realized, during the walkthru, that I didn’t recognize a single thing. And then it occurred to me that it’s because anytime I’ve been inside there, I’ve been so preoccupied with shooting the targets, that I never really gave myself a chance to just enjoy the decrepit scenery.

 

I really suck at shooting the targets, anyway. We got to ride through after the walking tour, at which point Henry and Kari made Chooch and I look like fucking pacifists. Jesus, our scores were so abysmal.

At least mine wasn’t as bad as Chooch’s.

The tour alone was worth the cost of our DAFE membership, but there was still so much more to do!