PRESENTS!!

News flash, Chooch: Christmas ain’t all about you, OK? Mommy & Daddy got some shit, too!

In addition to a freak show bracelet & a collection of vintage photos of handicapped people, my favorite pretend-sister, Andrea, hooked me up with a Wheelchair Jimmy t-shirt!

It’s no engagement ring, but a dental disaster around my neck is enough to keep me quiet for a day or two. Thanks for paying attention to my Etsy wish list, HANK.

I was actually going to buy it for myself and then honest to god shrieked when I saw it had been sold. Henry said he had considered contacting the seller and telling her that if I sent her a convo (which I was considering) to tell me that she was never ever ever ever getting back together making another one.

I honestly had no idea that Henry bought it. Do you know how many times a day I send him things from Etsy and say, “I want this”? Christina even said she was has an entire email folder full of my wants.

My friend Tammy made this Robot Blood nail polish & I fucking love it!

I have to thank my friend Laura for posting this purse on my timeline. Henry took note and bought it for me.

I bought Henry a Krochet Kids hat, which I then decorated with a handful of Dance Gavin Dance pins that I purchased from eBay specifically for this occasion. You can tell by his delirious expression that he was stoked beyond belief.

I also gave him a DIY cheese-making kit. The gift card said “Merry Xmas. Now make me some goddamn cheese.”

I put a lot of thought into my gifts for Henry.