Jan 182013
 

It was either write about my kid or my long-standing, vitriolic Katy Perry-surpassing hatred for Lance Armstrong, but the vein in my head has thrummed enough this week so you get a Chooch report instead.

Chooch is totally into the weird fruits we’ve been buying. OK, he’s definitely not at all into the weird fruits we’ve been buying. He acted like the tiny piece of dragonfruit we gave him had tiny needle-covered elves inside.

I’ll tell you what he’s really into. You know those videos that people post on YouTube that are literally nothing more than just them playing video games? Chooch loves those. In fact, there is one guy who posts videos of himself playing Minecraft that Chooch loves so much, he asked Henry if he could post a video response telling the guy that he makes good videos.

He’s also really into watching Slender Man spotting videos, but he stands really far away from the computer when doing so.

If I had do a guest post, it would probably go like this:

today I watched Minecraft videos while dum daddy fell asleep on the couch in his underwear watching criminal minds but then i woke up him after I screamed and cried while watching a Slender Man video. And then I played Happy Wheels and jacked up the computer even more while daddy answered personal ads on his phone.

It’s all he wants to talk about when I get home from work! I can’t take it! I don’t want to hear about Minecraft. He doesn’t even PLAY Minecraft!

But if he makes a You Tube video response, I’ll totally post it for you guys. And then put it in the “To Show Future GF” file post haste.

Last night, part of his homework required him to draw his family. I was angry because Henry looked exactly like Henry (a cross between a hobo serial killer and Andy from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure), but I looked all frumpy and ugly. I called Chooch out on this and he said, “Well, I WAS gonna draw you EMO,” like I should be happy he went with ugly instead.

OMG and last week his teacher told him he has swag.

I am so ready for this three day weekend.

  5 Responses to “I Have a Kid; Here are Some Updates”

  1. Your kid is an entertaining one, that’s for sure. That fruit freaks me out too much to eat.

  2. Man, you get no respect! Nature Boy plays Minecraft. And so does my husband. A LOT. Maybe you can bribe Chooch to be nice to you by telling him you’ll download Minecraft for him at some later date. But string it out as long as you can, of course.

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