Apr 052013


So here I am, in my own personal panic because I still have these things I want/need to blog about, like the rest of the shit we did on the way home from Lancaster and HELLO THE JONNY FUCKING CRAIG SHOW OMG, but what am I doing instead? Sharing a glimpse inside my dumb little office at work. Because it’s Friday and I’m all tuckered out after I was almost involved in a shooting that happened downtown a few hours ago. MORE ON THAT LATER.


Here we have a picture of my cat Don (RIP, buddy) and James Neal, my prom date. (Possibly more widely known as a Pittsburgh Penguin, though.)


The elephant thingie I bought at Mr. Ed’s and thought I lost!


A picture of Chooch with the band Chiodos held up by a scene kid magnet by awesome friend Brandy made me!


A picture of a bloody tooth I keep around to remind my co-workers not to fuck with me. (It doesn’t work on many people anymore though, just the n00bs.)


Yay, Amish memories!


Chooch drew that for me on the back of a receipt a few years ago. He probably thought I threw it away.


All the Glenns from Halloween!


St. Rita, Kellin Quinn, Austin Carlile and Marcy, all in a row.


‘Sup, homie. Also, instructions to access my voicemail because I never remember.


I get lots of papercuts. At least now I can decorate them.


Shitty Asian candy that no one is stupid enough to eat. (Except Jamie!)


Light reading.


The best mug in the world (thanks, Michelle!) and the omnipresent Jonny.


Freak flag, Jesus pen, Bayernhof literature.


The scene outside after a shooting, which happened at the exact time I take my break and sometimes I walk on that street! I MIGHT HAVE GONE THAT WAY TODAY if Angie hadn’t come into my office right before 4pm and started telling me a story. She saved my life (or buttock — that’s what was shot at)!

OK. I hope you enjoyed this unnecessary tour of my work digs. Now I’m about to go eat an apple, which I obtained by fruit panhandling around the department because Henry is a motherfucker who is suddenly against buying fruit. (Also scored two Cuties, a bag of light popcorn, some Pop Chips, string cheese and a packet of oatmeal. See that Henry? My co-workers got my back.)

  9 Responses to “Stuff That Can Be Seen Inside My Office-Thing”

  1. Thank you for this tour inside your head–er, office! I especially love your freak flag and homie! You are the only person I’ve ever known who actually has a literal freak flag! You’re awesome!

    I love your fruit obsession, too.

  2. I am filled with Patrick Bateman-like envy at the sight of your business card.

    For real, it’s majestic :-)

  3. It’s kind of frightening to me the similarities between your office and what mine looked like the last time I worked in one. I filled my back seat with boxes of personal effects the day they told us they were closing the branch. So many toys.

    • The law firm is SO WHITE. If I didn’t have colorful shit in my office, I’d probably go crazy.

      My favorite thing is when new people come into my office for the first time, lol.

  4. So does the pic of the bloody tooth work or not? I need something like that to keep folks away from my desk. Loving your Candyland-aides and pretty much all of it. I have the “colorful” desk at work too but not this bad-ass.

    Thanks for the shout-out!!


  5. This was fun! Other than those damn clowns.

    I got nothin’ on my desk except my pink penguin friend, Gretchen Penelope Pennsylvania Platypus Fillmore.

  6. HEY!!! You tricked me!

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