Jul 152013
 

Earlier tonight at work, I checked my email on my phone and was shocked when I saw some angry rant about gerbils and assholes, a la Richard Gere. I couldn’t imagine what I had done, and then I realized, “Oh, this must be spam.”

marcus

But after I read all of it and Googled the company in the email signature, I’m pretty sure it’s real and that Marcus has the wrong Erin Kelly. Amber2 and I were all giggly about it, and then I received another email.

marcus2

WTF Marcus, you’re fucked!!

Nate got involved after email #2 came in and decided that he was going to call Marcus and fuck with him, but then he saw the part about “emergency stress leave” and decided that he didn’t want to contribute to any more stress, so instead we googled some of the main players and found Scott, whose asshole is screaming out for a fresh, large gerbil on LinkedIn. Same company and title, so that part is legit. And he looks like he needs some ass-stuffing, that’s for sure. Pompous prick!

We also found Lisette, but sadly–no photo.

There’s a Marcus from Hamilton County, Ohio who has a mugshot on the Internet, and another one from West Virginia who’s some type of felon, so I can only guess that our Bakersfield, CA Marcus is also a jailbird.

I’ve been sitting around here all night waiting for more emails. Will Marcus get himself out of this hole!? Did Leo think Lisette was cute or not? Will Marcus learn the hard way not to threaten his boss’s asshole over work email? WHAT IS RICARDO BEING INVESTIGATED FOR? I CAN’T STAND IT.

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  5 Responses to “Accidental Emails”

  1. I wonder if he forwarded it to everyone in his address book? What a great end to a Monday!

  2. Of course you get awesome accidental emails. All I get is someone keeps mistakenly using my gmail account to sign up for Redbox. And all they’re renting is like Despicable Me.

  3. This is amazing! I hope you get more because now I really want to know how the story ends.

  4. This is immensely entertaining, and I cannot wait for the next chapter in this saga!!

  5. You guys can hide yourself on LinkedIn right? He is probably extra confused to see extra hits on his profile!

    Way to get exciting accidental emails and not just junk!

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