Today at the mall, some broad was all, “Yo can you hold the front of the stroller so that I can ride down the escalator?” She was asking ME to do this because she clearly doesn’t know that I fail at helping people. Rather than get into some winded discourse about my escalator phobia (I almost perished on one in Atlantic City when I was 4!), I waved her off to Henry, who is always glad to help a Civilian because that was one of the things he learned in the SERVICE, right after how to emulate Erik Estrada.
Meanwhile, Chooch was yelling, “MOMMY ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE FOR YOUR BLOG?” as I was taking a picture for my blog. Goddammit, things are beginning to get trickier.