Dec 222008


Thank god I get emails from Pampers telling me how many months it’s been since my son was born, or I’d have to continue telling people he’s two-and-a-halfish. So if I put my faith in Pampers, Chooch is 32 months old now, and pretty heavy into Nickelodeon sitcoms like “Drake and Josh” and “iCarly.” I always know when he’s watching the latter by Henry’s boisterous laughter, which comes with a nervous  epilogue of “I mean, I’m only laughing because it’s so stupid and improbable.”

I don’t mind these shows, but I pray they’re not some sneaky gateway show into the stool-softening garbage on the Disney channel.

While he still gravitates toward the Cure and post-hardcore sundry (I melt when, from the backseat, he requests, “Pierce the Veil, mommy!”), he has taken a liking to Katy Perry. I’m not thrilled about this, but I can acknowledge that it could be much worse. Oh so much worse. Miley Cyrus? Jessica Simpson? NICKELBACK?? [Why are people still buying Nickelback records? I met them in 2001 before they were mainstream radio whores and Chad Kroeger had already been prepped and primed for douchehood.]

The other afternoon, I was getting ready for work while he was “napping.” (I use that term very loosely as he primarily uses that downtime in his crib to plot Mommy’s impending mental breakdown and pen possible meals he can make once he succeeds in slaughtering our cat Nicotina.) So in his room, I keep his radio on one of the variety stations, and the newer Katy Perry single, “Hot and Cold,” came on. Chooch got quiet, then murmured, “Oh. Katy Perry’s on!” Then he quietly laughed – pre-nap delerium – and cooed, “Ha, Katy Perry…” He knows the video by heart, and yells, “I do!” at precisely the right moment during the wedding scene. Then it’s, “Dance, Mommy! Dance!” and I’m dragged off the couch and forced to run laps around the coffee table.


He still upchucks obscenities with the gusto of a Southern trucker but he, thankfully, has been good about it in public. We dropped him off at Janna’s on Saturday so we could finish shopping and she said he never swore once and was “really cute.” That explains why the car ride home was peppered with “asshole”s and “jackass”s then – he was like a clogged pipe.

But hey, other than that, he hasn’t committed arson or anything.

  9 Responses to “Chooch at 32mths (I think)”

  1. Oh dear. I will not expound upon the explosive diarrhea brought on by Nickelback’s music. I have no doubt that they were all poopy when you met them. UGH UGH UGH.

    However, that is an awesome photo with Riley and the brick walkway there! He’s like a little Beatle not on Abbey Road!

    • Chad Kroger was so arrogant, even back then! I was with my friend Shawn and we weren’t even there to see them, but felt compelled to get in line anyway. The whole time I was trying to talk to them, Chad was leaning around me so he could talk to these tow slutty girls behind us. It was so rude. I was never a fan to begin with, but I hated them ever since.

      I remember walking away and saying to Shawn, “God forbid I should have the audacity to talk to them about their ‘music’ when they’re clearly only interested in ogling underage breasts.”

      • Oh MAN! That has happened to me too, with a guitar player I was a HUGE fan of! I walked away so disgusted.

        Nickelback sucks!

  2. i love both of these photos… like a lot, A LOT.

    chooch is so smart and has such an individual personality at 32 months, i can only imagine the awesomeness he’ll grow into.

    i love that kid.

  3. I hate Nickelback more than herpes. Plus they’re Canadian.

  4. wow I can’t believe he’s 2 and a half already! i still remember reading all about you being pregnant, and when he was born. I really miss your posts being on livejournal where they’re so much more convenient for me! lol.
    happy new year! :)

    • I know, right?? I can’t believe I’ve survived this long, lol.

      I was just thinking about Sporky Reviews the other day, haha! Is that community still breathing? Sometimes I miss LJ, but the fact of the matter is that I feel more comfortable about writing what I want to write over here.

      You can add my feed on LJ, you know! It will show up right on your friends page. You can comment on it there, but the downside is that since it’s not a regular journal, I don’t get comment notifications. So it may take awhile for me to reply. But each post provides the link to the actual page over here!

      Happy new year to you too!

  5. I love these pictures.
    And Chooch has an awesome personality already. Time goes by so quickly; I remember when you first started blogging about being pregnant.

    I hope any future children I have are as cool as Chooch.

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