Sep 092013

My childhood bedroom was amazing. Deep purple carpet; purple and silver foil wallpaper; furniture set painted by my mom in alternating yellow and purple textured spray paint. I even painted my windowsill and frame in colored stripes. My room was the shit and so bursting with color that, even apart from the typical teenaged angst factor, it was my favorite place to be.

But the house I’ve been renting since 1999 (NINETEEN-NINETY-NINE WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK!?) is blah. White walls. Shitty hardwood floors that were never sealed. Plain furniture. BLAH. And Henry is one of those people who refuses to paint the walls of a house he doesn’t own any color but white. And since god knows when we’ll be able to realistically start looking for a house to buy (although things are looking up now that my student loans are out of default!), the compromise has been to give our furniture a makeover. And Henry is surprisingly doing it without too much bitching.

So, I already posted last week about the $10 coffee table we got last year from Goodwill. Talk about a labor of love with that thing. It still isn’t finished, though it’s really coming along. Henry finally started gluing down the photos on Saturday. It’s not the kind of project that can be rushed, because I don’t want to set my coffee down on a table and find another bubbled area I hadn’t noticed before.


I hope he hurries up though because that green tape is really growing on me and I might change my mind and have him paint a green border. I know you don’t want more work Henry, so chop chop.


We (haha “we”) sprayed sparkly black paint in the center of the table so it looks like all of the pictures have glittery borders and it is goddamn adorable. (Henry’s words, not mine.)


The drawers are all gold and glittery AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. But Henry’s all, “NO. IT IS NOT TIME TO BRING THE DRAWERS IN THE HOUSE. LEAVE THEM!!”


The knobs are going to be finished with the same black shimmery paint as we used in the center of the table, and the table legs will match as well.

I was over Laura’s last night and I texted Henry to see how the table was coming along, but he was all, “Yeah right, I’m not gluing a single picture on this without you here.” Because he KNOWS, you guys. I’m very particular when it comes to the order of things.

Meanwhile, we’ve also been working on our beaten up TV stand, which was originally dingy white and made out of fake wood from the Ikea forest. I’ve had this piece of shit table since I moved into this house in 1999 and it is Fug City. So I picked out some lively green paint to give it new life.


We managed to get this project done in less than 24 hours because there was no humidity this weekend and the paint dried amazingly fast. While the second coat was drying, we went to Joann Fabrics (on par with GROCERY STORES to me; god, I hate that place) and I picked out the most Brady Bunch-esque fabric I could find, much to Henry’s chagrin.


Henry opted to not sand out the scratches on the legs of the table, since they were made by the cats. At first I thought he was just using that as an excuse to do less work, but I think he was really sincere and it warmed my stupid heart.



The fabric makes it look pretty, but it’s also functional because it hides all of our cocaine bricks. I mean, electronics.




It doesn’t hide all the shit underneath it though so I guess I’ll still have to actually clean at some point. Gross.

Sorry for the poor quality photos. I was using my phone.


The other in-progress project is an old desk thingie that Henry had stashed in the garage, which is going to be solid gold with gold glitter. (I have other plans for the doors on it, though.) Henry was working on that this weekend too, so now every time light hits his face, he sparkles. Gold glitter in his beard, his moustache, his big bushy eyebrows. He’s really looking majestic, you guys.

He said he hopes that when he goes to work today, everyone thinks he did a cabaret show over the weekend. But I hope they think something worse, like that he went to a Ke$ha concert.

Anyway, this is not one of those Pinterest-y DIY blogs, so I won’t be doing product placement or telling you what tools we used. Mostly because I don’t know. These ideas came from my head, yo.


  3 Responses to “DIY Progress!”

  1. I’m dying to see the sparkly table! I can’t wait! This is super cute too. That green would make a cute border on the pink table… just sayin’.

  2. Tolhurst: ” While the second coat was drying, we went to Joann Fabrics (on par with GROCERY STORES to me; god, I hate that place)”

    I LOVE that you have Hampton Beach pictures included! I CHEER THIS!!

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