After work on Friday, Girl-Chris and I headed over to that one bridge, where a full-blown rubber duck celebration was underway. There were vendors set up all across the bridge and one of the KISS FM DJs had a stage set up so people could do interpretive rubber duck dances to Mackelmore and Fergie.
By the time we got out of work, there was only about an hour left of the party, but the bridge was still packed. I was a little bit, OK a lot, freaked out though, because Amber2 had stopped back to the office after being down there with her husband and apparently they saw some random, unattended orange backpack on the bridge, and then a little while later a cop wouldn’t let them through and said there was a BOMB WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK.
I didn’t actually hear Amber2 telling this story, but Chris relayed it to me right before we left the office and my legs got all gelatinous. Chris said she looked online and didn’t see any mention of a bomb scare, and I don’t know what I was expecting when we emerged from the Law Firm (a bomb squad parade, I guess), but everyone was just milling about casually, laughing and smiling. No pandemonium. No mob scene. So we went to the bridge and it was a blast without actually involving a blast!
There was one point though where Chris said, “Look at that backpack!” and I was like, “OMG WHAT WHERE?!” but before I fell to my knees and covered my head with my purse, I saw that it was just some guy wearing a duck backpack. My bowels dropped a little in that split second though, Jesus Christ, Chris!
We stood in line for official duck merch, but the stuff the Toonseum was selling, like the above Night of the Living Dead spoof, was way better. Unfortunately, they had packed up their booth and split by the time we made it back with smaller bills.
Pittsburgh Pottery was there and I bought some of their non-duck-related pottered things, like a small bowl featuring what appears to be a man projectile vomiting blood, and also a CLOWN RING from some chatty lady who loved my iPhone case. Ugh, small talk. Worth it though because that ring is cute as shit.
I generally dislike crowds and bridges and things that are popular and well, basically anything involving having fun with strangers. But I’m glad that I went because it was really kind of exciting to see something like this here, in boring old Pittsburgh. It’s making people so happy!
As the party fizzled out around 10, the duck made its move to the Point, where it will be moored (I JUST LEARNED THIS WORD BECAUSE OF THE DUCK) until October 20th, I think. (Who has time for fact-checking these days?) Chris and I decided to walk along the river and follow it to the Point. Along the way, we discovered a hobo beach beneath one of the overpasses, so that was exciting.
In spite of all of the buzz and legit joy this over-sized duck has brought my city, I’ve noticed that there are rubber duck-haters on Facebook. Of course there are. People are “sick of it,” and it’s “making Facebook so annoying!” Yeah, THAT’s what’s making Facebook annoying.
IT’S A GIANT RUBBER DUCK. ON THE RIVER. IT’S CUTE! IT’S NOVEL! IT WON’T BE HERE FOREVER! Find some joy in your life, Jesus. Go post some more Some eCards while the rest of us have fun with the rubber duck.