Sunday Rundown

Colorful clutter. Cluttered color?

I promised Henry that I wouldn’t have us on the go at all on Sunday in an effort to get the house clean. But that didn’t mean that CHOOCH and I couldn’t be on the go. As much as we hate doing things without Henry, sometimes leaving Henry alone in the house is the only way he can get anything done. And I wanted the house cleaned, you guys.

Plus, did I mention that Henry bought me flowers for no reason!? I should be scared, I know. But at the same time, he knows I haven’t been feeling like myself lately and I know that’s why he came home with flower-things, and not actually because he’s pounding some trannie housewife behind a Wal-Mart. I’m not a big flower person, but once in awhile it’s kind of nice. <3

Late morning, Chooch tagged along with me to the cemetery. I try to go most weekends because it’s the only place where I really enjoy jogging. OK, maybe “enjoy” is too strong of a word. “Tolerate.” It’s the only place where I can “tolerate” jogging. Sometimes I use that Couch to 5K app, and of course my trainer is the zombie. Chooch happened to see this the night before and became obsessed with going with me the next day.

He was sorely disappointed when we got there and a zombie wasn’t actually chasing us. I kept telling him not to get too excited! It’s not that great. So of course, he was all, “OMGGGG HOW MUCH LONGER!?” and this was just after the brisk walk warm-up. He kind of half-jogged (sort of) for a little while and then got pee on himself when he went behind a tree (wouldn’t be the same if Chooch didn’t piss somewhere in the cemetery) so of course he was all, “OMG I GOT PEE ON MY PANTS SO NOW CAN WE GO!?”

Fuck no, lazy-ass! Finally I told him to just go stand by the car and wait until I was done because I knew the next whine out of his mouth was going to be the dreaded “carry me!!”

Then we came home and Henry made us lunch because we’re not THAT independent. But then afterward we went to Target by ourselves! It was pretty amazing. We never go to Target without Henry. I bought new boots to treat myself for blossoming into such a fine young adult, but I only tried on the right boot and of course when I came home, I found out that the left one was all fucked up and didn’t fit right. So now Henry, who was so happy he didn’t have to go to Target with us, has to return them. Haha.

We let Henry take a break for a few minutes. And then he did some touch-ups on the Liberace desk which hopefully will be finished someday so we can stow away some of the clutter.

After dinner, we walked to Eat n Park for dessert. Henry drowned us out by methodically coloring the kids menu. There was a really annoying and loud old lady behind him and Chooch who literally yelled about how she hates yellow and orange-colored Jello. And then about how she doesn’t care if the boys drink at her house BECAUSE AT LEAST SHE CAN CONTROL THEM. She sent her granddaughter (I presume) to fetch her non-retchedly colored Jello from the salad bar and as she walked away, she commented on the girl’s maturing ass. “It must be because her jeans are so tight. Look how cute her butt cheeks are, sticking out like that!” she cooed to her two even older dinner companions. Oh my god, it was incredibly uncomfortable.

Eddie likes to hurt people.

Then we came home and watched The Walking Dead while Henry worked on more paper mache. (I helped during commercials, so cut the poor Henry crap!)

It was such a nice weekend. Fuck, do I love the weekends.

(P.S. The house does not look clean at all.)