Nov 202013
 
  • I’m currently combating Holiday Season Depression. One of my strategies was to host a small, informal Thanksgiving at our Pit of Despair so that we’re not roaming around, hoping someone will take us in at the last minute.  I got Henry on board and even officially named it Hanksgiving (get it? Henry –> Hank? HANKSgiving? Because Henry will be doing everything on his own?!) and then set the time for later in the evening so that it could be like a second dinner for my friends who have real family. I think only Laura, Mike and Janna are coming, but at least it’s better than just me, Henry and Chooch eating at a Chinese buffet. So now I have side dish researching to keep me busy, which Henry just loves, because I always pick the things that involve expensive ingredients. And I’m also excited to have an excuse to pull out the pie pedestals and use them for hors d’oeurves and the homemade cheese that Henry is going to make! (Oh yeah, Henry—you’re making homemade cheese.) We’re hoping Blake, Robbie and Corey will make an appearance, too. Henry is still wildly against the idea of me finding a random homeless person to bring to dinner. :(

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  • Chooch was sick all weekend and it was so sad and pathetic. I told him Hershel (if you don’t watch The Walking Dead, just skip to the next bullet) was watching over him and he got all panicky and said, “He might think I have the virus and stab me in the head!!!” He was miraculously well enough to go to the zoo on Sunday though, even though it was raining steadily all day. Kris Letang (one of the Pittsburgh Penguins) was there with his son, getting a private tour. Henry saw him through the glass of one of the restricted areas and sent me a picture of his back. Thanks, Henry.
  • Aside from a morning jog in the cemetery, I didn’t go anywhere at all this past Saturday (see: Chooch was sick). This is a fucking miracle, really. Instead, I got completely sucked into one of the new shows on the CW, “Reign.” It’s about Mary Queen of Scots and kind of “Gossip Girl”y and everyone is so fucking pretty to look at it, plus it’s on THE CW, hello. Of course I’m going to like it. So I power-watched five episodes in a row and Henry wanted to kill himself. That show and “The Originals” are totally ruling my TV time right now. (Plus, The Walking Dead, Homeland and American Horror Story. And hockey games.)

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  • Henry took my umbrella when he went to the zoo on Sunday (MY umbrella!!!!) so in retaliation, I wore this hair thingie that he totally shamed me for buying last year. (See also: I watched five episodes of “Reign.”)
  • A group of us are doing Secret Santa at work! Today was the name-drawing event. The hardest for me is definitely going to be keeping my mouth shut (and my fingers off the blog) about it until it’s over next month. I haven’t done a Secret Santa since I worked at the Tina and Eleanore Company back in 2007 and of all people, Tina was my Secret Santa. Sometimes I really miss that place. Even though I still have no idea what I actually did there.
    • On my wish list, I put “cheap jewelry; exotic, weird fruit; nail polish.” It took me awhile to think of realistic things. If I knew for sure Debbie S. would draw my name, I would have just put “photos of dead people; more photos of dead people; all of the photos of dead people.” But there are people participating in this fun little event who might not know that I enjoy photos of dead people, and then who knows what would happen.
  • Speaking of Secret Santa, the last time I was a someone’s Santa, I was happy to unload this dangerously sharp wrought iron picture frame that some strange broad gifted me at my baby shower in 2006. I would have also given her the out-of-date boxes of Tasty Cakes that came with the frame, but I had already thrown those away. I had a really weird baby shower.

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Marcy through a tube.

  • You probably don’t remember, but many, many months ago I alluded to the fact that me and my bestie Andrea of My Pretty Zombie fame were going to team up and make an eye shadow collection based on my stupid blog, in which “team up” loosely translates to “Andrea does all of the hard stuff while I sit back and giggle.” But then I k ept dropping the ball on my LONE TASK, which was designing the labels. I blame Henry for buying a new computer and upgrading Photoshop. I am practically paralyzed by change. I hate it. And so I just stopped using it, like any other five-year-old would do. I mean, I was barely even using my good camera anymore because the thought of having to edit photos in that newfangled Photoshop contraption made me seethe. But then last week, I sucked it up and dove in. And just like that, the Oh Honestly Erin Collection is pretty much ready to be launched on Black Friday, you guys! It’s going to be awesome! I can already attest that the colors are fabulous, because Andrea sent me samples last year. Next week, I’ll be having a giveaway for TWO SETS! That means TWO PEOPLE can win, just in case you forget how to do math as much as I do. Below is a sneak peek at one of the new shades, Melon Shirt! Um, and I promise I won’t make you jump through hoops like I typically do when I host giveaways. I can’t help it—I was actually born this obnoxious.

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  •  Yesterday at work, I randomly stumbled across this ice cream company in Portland that churns out the most amazing flavor combinations, weird pairings that make a lot of people dry-heave but make my taste buds come alive like depressed drag queens at a Lady Gaga concert. I was like, “Who else here would appreciate this? Oh, right, my Weird Fruit Bestie Chris!” So I sent her the link and her response was “PEAR AND BLUE CHEESE!? YES.” (Just pretend that I actually checked my emails for her verbatim reply, thanks.) So then we did what normal people would do and discuss the possibilty of traveling to Portland just to eat their hipster ice cream and Voodoo Doughnuts, when I noticed that you CAN ORDER PINTS ONLINE!!! Unfortunately, they come in 5 one-pint sets. And it’s $65. So I frantically texted Henry, “Can I buy five pints of ice cream for $65?” and his immediate response was “no.” HE DIDN’T EVEN ASK ME WHAT KIND!? Chris asked her girlfriend Monica who is way less Henry-ish and CONTROLLING but even she was like, “Well, I mean, it’s your money, but….” And then I had a brilliant idea! CHRIS AND I COULD GO HALVSIES!! We were excitedly talking about it at Chris’s desk when Mean Amber2 and Lauren asked us WTF was going on so we started telling them about all of the flavors and Mean Amber puked up some of mer meanness and Lauren was like, “No, that’s disgusting” until she went to their website and saw that they have Coffee and Bourbon so now she’s considering partnering up with us. This is basically a lot of words to say: I AM GOING TO MAYBE BE EATING SOME FUCKING WEIRD ICE CREAM SOON. (Not all of their flavors are “weird,” just the ones Chris and I care about.)
  • My Jonny Tree is back in action!

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  • We’re pretty much done with the paper mache portion of a project we’re working on. Hopefully the next two stages pan out the way I hope. Meanwhile, Henry is totally obsessed with himself now because he thinks he’s so fucking great at paper mache and actually said he hopes that Chooch needs to make something for school soon so then the school can also see how fantastic Henry is. STFU, seriously. Go build a car or something like a real man.
  • My friend Lisa had a baby girl last month! Her name is Genevieve and I got to hold her last week! That’s more of an exclamation of horror. Don’t get  me wrong—that child is adorable! But it”holding a baby” is not something that comes naturally to me, even after having one of my own. Lisa said I did fine though, so there. Sometimes I REALLY WANT A BABY. But then I remember those dark and lonely nine months and I snap out of it. Except that two weekends ago, it came up in conversation again and I was all, “Let’s just do it” but then Henry pointed out that my due date would be around next summer’s Warped Tour so then I was like, “Just scratch my back instead.” I feel like I told you this story already, but maybe I’m mixing up my social media.

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  • I listened to Barbara Streisand’s “Guilty” album the other day and it made me so happy/sad. She will always be the GREATEST FEMALE SINGER in my opinion. And her songs remind me of all the good parts of my childhood, especially sitting at the kitchen counter at my pappap’s house on a Saturday night, eating grilled cheese and getting ready to watch the Golden Girls and Empty Nest, and sometimes Hunter if I could stay awake. I miss my pappap all of the time, but even more during the stupid holidays. I wish my mom could get it together long enough for us to have a peaceful holiday meal together. Unfortunately, she’s even worse than ever.
  • THE PENGUINS ARE WINNING 1-0 AGAINST THE STUPID CAPITALS!
  • I’ve been embroiled in the age-old “should I get bangs again?” quandary. UGH, I JUST DON’T KNOW.
  • I’m a LITTLE BIT on edge because I’ve been locked out of my stupid Simpons Tapped Out game since Monday. MONDAY! I even brought Chooch’s phone (my old iPhone) to work with me yesterday so that I could log on as myself on his game. I have a real problem. :(
  • PENGUINS ARE BEATING THE CRAPITALS 2-0!!!

 

  15 Responses to “Wednesday’s Word Wasteland”

  1. Oh my goodness, what a gorgeous baby! My ovaries are still huddled in a corner crying after Theo, but I think they made grabby hands for a second thinking about a little girl that cute!

    I suggest cauliflower wings as a side for you dinner because I am obsessed now. if I can make them without fucking them up too bad I bet Henry could make them delicious!

  2. I have a recipe for sourdough bread stuffing with red peppers and artichoke hearts. My mom used to make me make it every year until I quit cooking on thanksgiving and just whined until I found someone willing to take me in. Also MH will be camping in front of Best Buy.
    Love this post…so much excitement!

  3. That’s pretty much verbatim. It’s just missing about 87 exclamation points. I can’t fault you for conserving space, though. Also, tomorrow is order day. :D

  4. Awwwww! What an adorable baby!!!

    And also, I love your hair thingy. It’s sexy.

    Bangs might get in the way of all the cool braids Henry is going to be creating on your head.

  5. And I’m sorry about the seasonal depression. I wish you thoughts of lots of crazy, weird fruit baskets.

  6. PEAR AND BLUE CHEESE ICE CREAM?!?!

    I think I’m hyperventilating. This is something I need to have temporarily in my belly.

    Your hair thing is so awesome. Henry must have been soooo jealous.

  7. That baby. OMG she is so ridiculously cute! I just want to squish her chubby little baby face. And I cannot wait to see the colors Andrea came up with. I love her makeup!

    Sorry about the depression, love. Depression is such an asshole and I wish it would just realize that it’s an asshole and GO AWAY for everyone.

  8. OMG REIGN IS SO GOOD. And by good I mean CW good, which is where lots of my favorite shows are because I have such mature taste in TV shows…!

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