When Miles arrived at the warehouse full of wanna-bes pantomiming karate chops and roundhouses, his only hope was to land a small part in a new video game. Sure, like all the other struggling no-names at the audition, he went to bed every night praying to be the next Pacman, the second-coming of Frogger. But his ma taught him not to get too over zealous, to walk into situations with humble expectations. So, when Miles chose a seat near two anxious auditioners with perfectly coiffed, yet varying degrees of spiked hair, he wasn’t aiming for lead character. Not yet. Maybe he’d be one of the easy-to-obliterate level one villains, or maybe he’d wind up as background filler; he didn’t care. It was his dream to be immortalized in pixels, undulating along through a 1980s Casio soundtrack, thick and saccharine like pudding. And then maybe one day, he could move up to the big time, rubbing elbows with Mario and knocking back whiskey with camo’d Commandos and Max Payne.
Yes, Miles decided to aim low in the beginning. And since his aim was low, he never expected to meet the love of his life there, sitting in the dingy waiting room among men who smelt of beef jerky and musty, damp locker rooms. But there she was – sassy Sissy Sparkleburg – pinching her cheeks to make them flush, sprinkling an extra dash of glitter in her hair. She was gunning for the love interest, the princess locked in a cage suspended above Satan’s jock at the end level of the game.
They left together, after the auditions, and went out for some sexy pasta and boxed wine. Neither of them got the part that day, but Sissy got a positive pregnancy result the next week.