Monday Missives

• Today is my first day in my new position at work! Henry said his mom called him this morning to make sure that I didn’t have a stroke on the trolley, since Morning Commute trolley is waaaay scarier/more crowded than the Leisurely Afternoon trolley which I have grown accustomed to over the last few years. But I did it! I made it! I was really nervous about it all weekend but now I know it’s fine, I’m fine, we’re all fine, so I’m officially in relaxed mode. LOOK AT ME, NOT BEING AS MUCH OF A SPAZ AS USUAL!
• Last weekend, we were out and about when Chooch realized he didn’t know where we were. “Yes you do,” Henry said. “We’re by that park where Mommy threw a fit.” Chooch made an exasperated sigh and said, “There are LOTS of places where Mommy has thrown a fit.” That kid.
• Henry made me a lovely fruit salad full of persimmon, kumquats, apples, blackberries, red bananas and some miniature pineapple thing. Remember when I didn’t like fruit?! God, I was so dumb back then.
• I got to sit with Amber1 this morning for some training! Glenn was supposed to be my main buddy but he’s conveniently on vacation this week. HOW NICE.
  • Speaking of Glenn, I tried to decorate my new desk with all of my best things so that he will have lots to look at. When I first moved over there last Thursday, I started hanging up all of my favorite pictures and magnets, but first I would hold them up to show Glenn. “Don’t care,” he kept mumbling, but he clearly was paying attention because when I showed him this picture, it sparked a conversation about Warped Tour and how his kids are going this year and I was like, “OMG ME TOO!” and he was like, “Don’t care.” Full circle.

• Saturday was pretty weird/upsetting. Remember how my cat Willie died last January? Well, because the humane society closed their shelter in Elizabeth, our pet cemetery plots were kind of in limbo. We were luckily able to get a shelter volunteer to meet us there to take Willie, but since it was a terrible winter, they were unable to bury her until the spring. Someone finally got in touch with us last week and scheduled a burial for Saturday. I forgot that I had asked for an open casket and it was so disturbing to go into the bereavement room and see Willie laying there with sunken eyes and ugh, just ugh. I don’t know what I’m going to do when Marcy joins the rest of them. She’s been acting pretty lethargic these last few weeks and I just keep trying to pretend that she’s OK but she’s clearly dying and I just can’t stand it.
  • After Chooch made a series of disturbing comments in front of the grave digger about how he wants to be buried alive, Henry took us to Yough Twist for ice cream. I had carrot cake ice cream, which could have easily been terribly disgusting, but no. It was fabulous. (I’ve been hanging around with Chooch too much so everything is fabulous to me now.)
• This is what I looked like on Friday, before leaving for my last day in my old tech support position:

• I don’t think my old team at work cares very much that they lost me, LOL. The feeling is mutual.
• I’m kind of disappointed that today was my first day working the day shift and Henry didn’t want to do anything after work! I was like, “LET’S GO TO THE ARTS FESTIVAL!” and he just glared at me. Maybe tomorrow.
• BRB going to cut an apple.
• Oh shit, I recently flashbacked to this time I volunteered as a gas mask-tester for the Bureau of Mines. This was maybe in 2002? I had to wear a gas mask and stand in a chamber while they pumped some kind of banana fumes into it. It’s a wonder that never made it into any of my bios or resumé.
  • I also vaguely remember the guy running the experiment asked me out afterward because I probably showed up wearing something slutty since that was back when I was always showing up wearing something slutty.
  • How do you think I snagged Henry?
• WARPED TOUR IS A LITTLE OVER A MONTH AWAY!!!! So many bands, ahhhh!
• I wonder how many people my mom is Catfishing at this very moment.
• Had a brief but pleasant correspondence with an old friend over the last few days. Something terrible happened to her recently, which explains why suddenly so many things were reminding me of her all at once. It freaks me out when shit like that happens, like when all these things kept resurfacing that reminded me of Psycho Mike and then I found out days later that he was in town because his mom died. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN. Alyson says it’s radar love, but I always seem to have it with the people I shouldn’t love.
• I kicked Chooch softly just to be a dick and then he kicked me back REALLY HARD so I wailed, “WHY DID YOU KICK ME SO HARD I DIDN’T KICK YOU THAT HARD!” and then Henry was like, “HOW ABOUT NO ONE KICK EACH OTHER AT ALL!?” Then we had a huge fight because he wanted to play Xbox and I wanted to watch hockey, and here I am writing in my blog so I guess we all know who won that round. Me being home in the evenings is already going swimmingly.
• Last Thursday night at work, one of the ladies from another department on our floor was leaving and asked me if I wanted a jelly donut because the next day was National Donut Day and their department was celebrating early in order to beat the rush (OK). I did not want a jelly donut because I don’t like jelly donuts but I was so happy that someone was talking to me after basically enduring a whole week at work where no one in my group was talking to me and also because I’m too much of a foodslut to just say no, so I took one and then I ate it and got sick because I don’t like jelly donuts.
  • Then I went home and exercised because I hated myself. #foodshaming4L
  • It totalllllly wasn’t worth it. Jelly donuts are gross. What a fucking waste.

OK, I’m going to paint something now. GOOD EVENING.