Chooch Check-In

Lest anyone forget that I am a “Mommy Blogger” 1% of the time, here is an update on that male human I made with the help of sacrificial virgin blood, a full moon, and a Marilyn Manson CD 9 years ago.

1. Kitty Kat Playtime

I absolutely adore Chooch’s piano teacher for a myriad of reasons. Such as: She is adorable. She has played keyboard in various local punk bands. She has cool style. She’s an artist.

But my favorite thing about her is that she has a very laid back, non-traditional approach to teaching and somehow, someway, holds Chooch’s attention. Sure, she’s been teaching him from books here and there because it’s important for him to know the basics, but lately they’ve been branching off and doing their own things. Normally, when I come to pick him up, they’re jamming: Chooch on keyboard, Cheryl on drums. And she’s been helping him write his own songs, one of which is called Kitty Kat Playtime. (Natch.)

Please enjoy a video of Chooch practicing it and try not to cringe along at his mistakes. (This was his first run-thru at home!)

2. Chooch’s Quest For Love

Chooch always gets my old iPhones when I upgrade. He can’t really do much on it since he needs a password to download apps, etc, but he likes to use it to watch YouTube videos and play games. Kids his age having cell phones seems pretty common these days, really, and Henry and I monitor his activity. For instance, he has an email address, which is also linked to my phone so I can see what comes in and goes out. Mostly it’s just him harassing Janna when he forgets his Minecraft password (she’s the one who created his account and will forever live to rue that day),

But then Henry got a new phone. Chooch’s current phone has a shattered screen, so Henry was all, “I’m going to be nice and give you my old phone, so remember that the next time I forget to feed you or pick you up from school.”

Everything was just grand until I was checking my email on my phone and noticed that Chooch had a message in his account.

It was his “daily matches” from FilipinoCrush.com.

My immediate reaction was to freak out, of course. I asked him about it and he shrugged. “It’s probably just spam.”

I felt like this was probably a lie, but then The Real World came back on from commercial and that clearly takes precedence over investigating whether or not my son is leafing through some sordid Internet catalogue of mail order brides.

The next day brought with it a new “daily matches” email. This time, I scrolled all the way through and clicked on “sign in to your profile.”

SONOFABITCH.

He created a profile on FilipinoCupid.com!

Henry grabbed the phone and saw that he had downloaded the app for it because HENRY forgot to make sure these things couldn’t HAPPEN. Great fathering, HENRY!

Once we verified that he hadn’t actually made contact with any hot Filipino singles, Henry deleted the app and then we started cracking up because who knew Chooch had such specific tastes?!

He’s 28 and “willing to relocate,” y’all.