Thriday* Tendrils of Thoughts

Bullet points, my favorite blogging cop-out! This will be especially beneficial to me since HENRY has been going to bed early all week and I haven’t had anyone to talk to at night! Lots to get off my chest. *(I started writing this on Thursday and now it’s Friday…so Thriday.)

• I’m currently extremely stressed out about hockey. If the Penguins lose tonight in New York, they’re done, you guys. Hockey heartbreak, every goddamn spring. (Game started. We’re losing.)
• Maternity Leave Amber had her baby on Monday! Super stoked for her, and even more stoked for her to come back to work. That’s soon, right? Like, yesterday? :(
  • In other work news, Barb’s replacement started on Monday. I’m too sad/numb to write anything more about that. SIGH. BARB. 
    • Except that I mentioned to Nate that at least it’s not Henry’s ex-wife. Nate said, “What if it was her?! Hashtag awkward.” I said, “Then one of us would probably be dead,” and Nate said somberly, “Hashtag dead.” That was a real, verbatim conversation that I might need to remember one day. You’re welcome, Future Erin.
• I don’t think I’ve been on this level of excitement for Warped Tour since maybe 2008 or 2009. I seriously think about it everyday and my special edition Choonimals 3D ticket came last week so now I’m really jumping around the house like a freak. I was making Henry watch Warped Tour survival videos on YouTube Wednesday night and he was like “And you wonder why I want to go to bed at 7:30 every night.”
  • I want Henry to make his own Warped Tour survival video now!! And then he can link to his OOTD (Barb, that means “outfit of the day”) video at the end.

• Rude things Henry has said to me this week:
  • I’m cheap and easy
  • I’m a toaster-operating moron (SORRY IF I DIDN’T KNOW THERE IS A TIME LIMIT FOR POP-TARTS?!)
  • I sound like a clown when I sneeze (actually a compliment, so fuck you, Henry)
  • I’m stuck-up
• Speaking of being stuck-up, yesterday my new workBFF Allison told me that shewas scared of me on her first day and that she thought I was goingto be “the mean one” of the group because she sat across from me in a meeting and I looked mad. “Oh, I always look like that in those meetings!” I laughed. And then I added, “How could you think I was mean when I have so much awesome stuff on my desk? Like zombie stuff and….” “Yeah, that didn’t do much to help,” Allison laughed.
  • This made me think of a few weeks ago when Amber the Original AG¹ told me that when she first started working at The Law Firm in 2011, I was only working late shift then so she never actually saw me, but one time she had to walk past my desk. And based on that, she had this impression that I was a really scary goth person. One time she was working late shift too, and one of the analysts (Tyler; he left in 2012 and we all still miss him so much!) came back to his office near Amber’s desk and mentioned off-handedly that he was over on the other side, talking to me, and Amber was like, “EW WHY!?” But then she finally met me and realized that I am an adorable sweetheart baby doll thing. I love this story!
• I’m still on a heavy Pvris kick. Lynn makes the hairs stand up on my arms like whoa.

• My expression upon finding out that Henry has never heard Cutting Crew’s “Been In Love Before” was the same as when I found out he votedforDubya.
  • Shock and disgust. On my face.
• Me: “Marcy taught me about unconditional love.” Henry: Well, you didn’t learn much.”
• Guys, remember when Henry pitched a fit because I didn’t turn off the lights and TV and lock the door last week? PROOF THAT I LISTENED:

Corey’s comment about my lock-turning seeming rusty is spot-on, you guys. Also, I was bragging about some person commenting that I’m “seriously the best” and “so funny and pretty,” and Henry was like, “Yeah. I saw that. That kid is like 7.” But still. It’s a step-up from my imaginary friend saying it. Kind of.

• Last Friday, Sandy arranged a late shift happy hour. It was the first happy hour I was able to make it to in A LONG TIME and it was really great. Even though Lou and Ethan were with us. But Lucas was there too and that was only the second time I’ve hung out with him outside of work in 5 years. (The first was last September when we were volunteer mulchers. That was pretty terrible.) The reason I’m mentioning this is because I realized that in the last almost-year that I’ve been in my current position, I actually feel like I’m part of the department again, and even though I might still have “bad” days here and there (who doesn’t?), I really am so much happier now. I can’t really write too much on here aboutthedarkside of my job because let’s be a Smart Blogger, right? But I just feel a lot more appreciated now and it’s nice to hear a “thank you for your help today” every now and again, you know?
  • And also because Ethan was whining about wanting a corned beef sandwich (we were at Sammy’s and theirs’ are “famous”) but not unless someone else would get one too because he didn’t want to be the only person eating, but I was like, “Corned beef is a vegetarian’s nightmare” and Lou was like, “Corned beef is disgusting” and Sandy was too fixated on the popcorn situation. So finally, Lucas was like, “Fine. I’ll get one too” and then they got up to go to the corned beef counter together, like two girls who couldn’t go to the bathroom alone.

• Henry finally got his hair cut so no more topknot.Whompwhomp.
  • In other top knot news, Henry flipped out because I wanted coffee but I refused to go into the coffee place we were near because I’m allergic to hipsters. (WHY DO THEY HAVE TO HAVE GOOD TASTE IN COFFEE?! I want them to just be satisfied with Starbucks or McCafe.) When Henry came back to the car, he shoved my iced coffee at me and said, “AND THE GUY HAD A TOP KNOT!” Oh Henry.
  • I accidentally (I’m 35 and still insist spelling this “accidently”) watched a recent Jonny Craig video on YouTube and stated cracking up because I forgot he too is going through a topknot phase.
    • As if Henry is actually “going through a topknot phase.” That knot was on top of his head for approx. 8 seconds last week.

• Tuesday (4/21) was Robert Smith’s birthday! I always feel strange on this day because I’m like YAY ROBERT I LOVE YOU but also I can’t help but remember that it’s my quitiversary from that awful meat place I worked at for 4 years. Coincidentally,thelady I shared an office with (a/k/a my Original Work Mom, Carol) commented on this picture I posted of Robert on Facebook and said, “Still perfectly coiffed as always.” I drove her nuts with my constantCurefan-girling. I miss her. I should make her go to lunch with me soon.
  • I wore my Robert pendant to work and made sure to tell everyone it’s his birthday because this is important. When ItoldA-ron, he said, “Oh, The Smiths, right?” totally on purpose and I shouted down the hall at him, “THAT’S OFFENSIVE!” Then I came back to my desk and told Glenn and Todd, who didn’t get it, so I scoffed, “Robert and Morrissey hate each other. Everyone knows that!”
    • GOD!!!
  • Then I was mad because the AltPress instagram posted a birthday picture of Robert and all these bratty kids hijacked the post, whining that it was some Black Veil Bride asshole’s birthday too, totally taking away from Robert, so then AP gave that d-bag his own birthday shoutout, like who cares about a BVB birthday!? Ugh. THAT’S OFFENSIVE.
• The most exciting thing that happened today was when I was pulling folders out of a filing cabinet and got  A REALLY BAD PAPER CUT. It was basically the HNNGGGGGH  heard around the department. It was kind of embarrassing how many far away people stopped in their tracks and said, “Oh no, paper cut?” (OK, two people.) My first instinct was to cry, “AND I DON’T HAVEANYMORECANDYLANDBANDAIDS!” which made Todd lose it. Glenn was like, “Oh for Christ’s sake” and got me a boring, old person bandage out of his dumb drawer. He even opened it for me! “We’re going to hear about this all day,” he muttered after I snatched it from him.
  • When Gayle got to work, I stopped her and cried, “I GOT A PAPER CUT TODAY,GAAAAAAYLE” and then we were all talking about how shocked we were that Glenn cared enough to give me a bandage but he said, “You didn’t see the Bio-Hazard sticker on it?” Ugh.
    • Then I washed my hands and it started to fall off, so I used some leftover Jesus stickers from last year’s Easter Glenn Hunt to hold it together:

    

    • Fuck this week.