tweets become a hassle

tweets

Jul 062009

\Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

15:11 I’m in a helicopter. No I’m not.
16:25 Sometimes I really wish I had a mom. You know, one that took an active interest in my life.
16:27 Oh no, now Scuderi too. :( #pens
16:28 @saucalisha so THAT’S why I was always getting date-raped in high school!
21:09 I’m so glad I have a three-year-old and a fridge w/ a water & ice dispenser, all under one roof.

12:31 The zoo always seems like a good idea. It is not a good idea.
12:55 Blake turns into a germ-freak in the monkey house.
13:00 I’ve not yet killed a person but the zoo always threatens to change that.
13:04 Ok we just got to watch some zoo asshole toss apples at the gorillas so the zoo doesn’t suck so bad now.
13:47 http://twitpic.com/95y76 – Zoo queers
17:43 Alisha is being sucked in by the real world issues of Degrassi. It goes there. (She even made me fast forward thru the commercials.)
17:57 Having two pseudo-babysitters with me all day does not make controlling Chooch any easier.
20:00 OMG NEW DEGRASSI WHAT HAPPENED TO JANE
01:53 Finally realized what my new neighbors do that makes that noise so late at night – drag body bags up and down the steps. I need in on this.
11:04 I guess when the girls on this new Real World don’t have good looks going for them, they have to compensate with cunty attitudes.
11:06 1st I hated Ayiiiah b/c her name has superfluous vowels, then I hated her for her chipped teeth. Now I hate her for non-shallow reasons….
11:06 Like her weak wall-punching skills & stupid highlights
12:09 God, Henry. I wouldn’t kill myself until AFTER Warped Tour. Now give me back my scissors.
13:11 Henry, to me: “you have a personality, you just hide it.” Alisha, to me: “can u hide it a little more when I’m around?”
13:43 Happy to be going to someone else’s cookout for once. I brought #thingieball, to add some Erin flavor.
15:40 Remembering the last time I played wiffle ball exactly 4 yrs ago today where I was unjustly called out. Re-angeration is occuring.
16:25 Alisha got my foot drunk with fruity alcohol. Afraid podiatric date-rape is imminent.
16:29 http://twitpic.com/9b0d8 – Loser in a tent.
16:50 “It’s like on Harper’s Island!” Chooch exclaimed as he attempted to spear Henry’s leg with a stick.
17:34 http://twitpic.com/9bak7 – Henry is the worst dessert picker. Looks are deceiving! I’ma puke now.
17:34 There are big dogs here, threatening Henry’s masculinity. He’s gonna try to do some hardcore sexplay tonight to regain some if it.
18:08 Overheard at cookout: “Michael Jackson is a freakin’ FREAK.” How ignorant! He WAS a freakin’ freak.
18:28 http://twitpic.com/9bisd – Loser on the steps.
18:46 Called Henry “man I came here w/” rather than grace him w/ the bf title. He goes “hope u find someone else to be the man u LEAVE here w/”
20:29 Alisha thinks it’s fantastic that I can bring every convo back to Degrassi. & by fantastic she means really fucking annoying.
21:09 http://twitpic.com/9c7xt – Waiting downtown for fireworks, Alisha is tightly wound.
22:43 We’re on the wrong trolley. Preparing for my new life as a boxcar kid. #cantreadsigns
22:46 OMG IM FREAKING OUT. The world looks so scary out there!! I’m going to be lost in it forever now! HEEENNNRY HELLLLPPPPPP!!

02:40 Thank you, new neighbors, for waiting until 2:38am to stand beneath my bedroom window & fire off roman candles. My racing heart feels great
11:16 If there was one thing I learned yesterday, its that a fenced-in tard should be a prerequisite to having a baby.
12:48 I had public transportation nightmares last night, in which @saucalisha‘s face was papered along the sides of all the buses.
13:51 I hope Degrassi has an episode revolving around chest pains so I can learn what to do about mine.
14:06 Oh and three tweets ago? Tard = yard, though I suppose a fenced-in tard would provide hours of amusement for a child, too. Probably more.
14:11 The queen purveyor of zombie dolls, @mrsevils, is having a giveaway on her blog, go enter! http://bit.ly/3ijdnm
12:16 The first time I talk to my mom in 7 mths & she cuts me off to start spouting off her govt conspiracy theories. Fucking fantastic.
12:20 I have honestly never met a family with such a crippling inability to be happy for one of their own. It’s like a disease.
13:00 Chooch had his 2nd klutz episode of the day which brought my finger-pointing neighbor to her window.