Jul 092009
Tweets: Now in reverse order! The Monday – Thursday edition! Suck on a dick!
- I need a life. #whyimakeuphashtags
- Sucking on the wrong nipple. #consequencesofcarseatsex
- Getting stale Cheerios stuck to your asscheeks. #consequencesofcarseatsex
- Asked Chooch what it feels like sitting in his poop & he said interesting. Gonna have him sit on canvas to see if it LOOKS interesting too.
- In lighter news, my son has taken to sticking things up his asshole.
- My mom is still in the hospital & I have no idea what’s going on.
- Alisha has the worst luck apartment hunting and drags me along for the ride.
- Chooch’s life lesson of the day: Never trust a mommy with a squirt gun. Dummy.
- I am sunburnt and have a major case of music hangover, but it feels so good. Until tonight when post show depression sets in.
- I have no words for Jeffree Starr. Actually I have a lot. Just no desire to type it out.
- I will never get used to anyone other than anthony green singing “7 years.”
- Dance Gavin Dance make me want to form an army. They’re so good live.
- http://twitpic.com/9q38r – Old man, asleep at Warped Tour.
- Man, I wish I had a neckbrace.
- Do not piss off Black Tide. #tryingtoavoidriotsatwarpedtour
- Waiting for A Day To Remember & Henry is nervously asking me questions about them.
- Nick Martin can scream in my face all day long.
- http://twitpic.com/9p8n7 – Waiting for Chiodosssssss. Henry just peed a little.
- I’m going to miss Deanna after she gets trampled in the Chiodos pit:(
- Thank you to the girl on Etsy who just bought 3 of my bathroom plaques – now I can buy a tshirt! #warpedtourrapesmywallet
- http://twitpic.com/9p5lt – “But now ppl will know I’m with you” – Henry
- Every time I ask Henry to get in a picture with me, he says he’s busy.
- Repeating myself 14x to Henry. #thingsidontloveaboutwarpedtour
- I have to love a band who congratulates the Penguins for winning the Cup and then immediately dogs on the Pirates.
- All the older, decidedly less scene people are over here waiting for Bayside. Henry still sticks out like a sore dick though.
- Approaching Ernie Ball Stage for Remember Thy Name & walking into a barrage of growls, Henry mumbled “oh boy I love them already.”
- Gates just opened & I squealed. Henry is frowning.
- Some guy in a band asked ppl behind us what bands they came to hear & Henry mumbled “Exit & See Ya Next Year.” We’re not even inside yet!
- “He doesn’t even have a chin, how could he know what to do?” – Deanna on the Live Nation parking boy.
- The only bad thing about @saucalisha not coming today is that I won’t have a bevy of gum at my disposal.
- Never had a use for the word “bicker” until Blake & Deanna were in the backseat of my car.
- Just heard vagina slams instead of Virginia Slims.
- The worst part of Warped Tour is waiting for Henry to get his shit together so we can fucking go.
- Nothing is cuter than a little kid laughing in his sleep. Well, except for a wino drinking rabbit blood in an alley.
- Can never sleep on Warped Tour Eve.
- Going with @saucalisha to look at apartments today made me want to move. WITH OR WITHOUT HENRY. & preferrably next to kickball fanatics.
- The doctors think my mom had a stroke, she’s being admitted. I don’t feel a single fucking emotion over it. I wish I did.
- Weren’t @ soccer field for 30 seconds before Chooch fell, scraped his knee. Then he got tangled in a net & hit in the mouth w/ wiffle ball.
- http://twitpic.com/9mbjk – Sweat-styled hair.
- My mom just called & I sat here staring at the phone. Just…no energy for this.
- This time tomorrow, I’ll have perma-smile, Henry will have perma-scowl, and Chooch will probably have gotten lost 3x.
- Heard Janna say “I want 2 get a baby performer” rather than “baby pool 4 him” &I’m like “How hard does she think it is 2 entertain my son?”
- My new playground boyfriend has a German shepherd named Trina & firecrackers at home.
- Playgrounds: putting me in awkward predicaments since 2006.
- Henry, it’s time you talk to Chooh about why his weener sometimes stands up. I would if I could, you know, stop laughing.
One Response to “This Is What My Tweets Look Like Since LoudTwitter Fell Down, Went Boom (& is now sucking dicks of the dead)”
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Oh honestly, Erin. (See what I did there?) Glad you are still posting these because I have no use for Twitter apart from your tweets. They always make me snort!(Not coke. Well, not always.)