Tonight is Henry’s last night at his second job, and we are both very happy about that. Slightly scared for our financial future, but I know we’ll be a lot happier. We were starting to implode under the stress – Henry from never being home and getting very little sleep, and me from being around Problem Child all day, every day. Plus, I think maybe we might have missed each other a little, too.
I have been a little frazzled lately.
I spoke with my mom on Monday for the first time since last November. Basically, the conversation was dominated by her nonsensical spewing of political conspiracy theories, and begging me not to take a vaccination if someone tries to inject me, because this happened in the ’70s too and it’s called depopulation and OMG OMG OMG she’s moving to Canada. I was in tears, she had me so frustrated. Anytime I would try and tell her how I’ve been doing, she’d interrupt me, once to tell me about a fox that has been digging up her yard. She not once asked about Riley. I can’t say I’m surprised, as she did blatantly miss Christmas and his birthday, and didn’t bother to call when he had to go to the ER a few weeks ago (yes, she knew about it).
The next day, she was admitted to the hospital. According to my equally-as-crazy aunt Sharon, it was for her high blood pressure and they were going to discharge her the next day. Well, now it’s Friday and she’s still in there and I have no idea what’s going on because my only source of information is Sharon, who suffers from chronic Pollyanna disorder and she coats every thing with a triple layer of sunshine and positivity.
It’s hard for me to care about someone who clearly doesn’t give a shit about me, but at the same time, I’m still concerned. I’m hoping that a stay in the hospital might wake her up a little, bring my old mom back. Not that we ever had a great relationship, but it never used to be this estranged and tumultuous. I feel like if I had had Chooch six or seven years ago, perhaps she’d actually have taken a more active role in his life, back before she lost most of her mind and reality. But as it is now, and has been since he was born, she’s very unemotional and awkward around him. In fact, no one really on that side of my family seems to really want to spend any time with him, and that’s probably for the best.
I’m just tired of letting this drag me down; they’re my ball and chain. They are the source of 99% of what plagues me emotionally and mentally, yet I keep letting them back in and all they do is knock me down and down and down.
And this subject has gone on entirely too long.
In much better news, Warped Tour was Wednesday and it was a fantastic day, all ups and no downs. Pictures forthcoming!