Apr 102016
 

Trying to spend as much time there as possible, which I’m sure is hurting my heart more than helping. Henry keeps saying annoying things like, “You need to pull back a little” and “How about taking break?” and I’m like HOW ABOUT YOU FUCK YOURSELF.  I just can’t stay away knowing that one day it will be gone, and with it the hugest piece of my childhood, so this is kind of like a time capsule for me.

I was in the house alone the other night and it was extremely scary, which made me sad because I’ve never been scared there before. But at the same time, I was kind of hoping something would happen. Some kind of contact, or sign. I KNOW: when you want something to happen, it won’t.




  


  


Chooch asked, “What is this, like a really old cell phone or something?”



He made up a song about Satan, and the smile on his face. Um…



There are so many layers to what is happening right now, and this is just one. In a way, it feels like I’m losing my Pappap all over again.

In lighter news though, I found out today that someone in that house was a HUGE Gino Vannelli fan. So many Gino records! Sometimes I listen to “Living Inside Myself” when I want to make myself cry. Which is often, because I am fucked up and clearly thrive on salty wets.

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  5 Responses to “Glimpses of Gillcrest: #1”

  1. Everyone deals with loss differently…I like that you have the house so close to where you live. If anything, you are deepening the memories, and for you, that may be helpful. Big hugs from far away!

    • Thank you Kristen — that means a lot to me. It’s just been a lot to deal with and lots of demons to face, I guess you could say. Just taking it day by day (and searching for a good therapist LOL!).

  2. You’ll pull back when you’re ready.

  3. Wow, it’s a mansion! No wonder you liked being here so much. All that wallpaper and space to move around in.

    You are right to keep going while you can.

    And as always, these photos are beautiful and capture the truth of the matter.

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