Jun 232016
 

Can I do one of those parent-brag things for a second? No, it’s not about Chooch getting good grades (I mean, he does) or achieving some high sporting goal (he doesn’t play a sport, so…). No, my brag is that Chooch has officially unlocked the next Mini Erin life level: he is addicted to going to concerts. He is even more like me now and less like Henry! Y’all can say he looks just like Henry all you want, because he is ALL ME ON THE INSIDE. And everyone knows what’s inside is what really matters. So there.

However, it was only a matter of time before there was going to be conflict, and it happened way quicker than I imagined. He wants to go see Melanie Martinez next month and I was considering taking him, because why not. She’s not the best but she doesn’t offend my ears and I don’t want to be That Person who puts their kid in a corner for liking something that they don’t.

Annnnnd then PVRIS added a Pittsburgh date to their tour at the very last minute, just squeezed us on in there. Of course it’s the same night as Melanie Martinez.

“Oh this is going to be an awesome fight,” Henry sighed when I told him after work the other day. And at first Chooch got super pissed but then I was all HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE and told him to just ask his brother Blake to take him, so I guess that’s happening?

Hope so, because PVRIS tickets went on sale yesterday and I got mine, so….

This could be the last time I get to see PVRIS in a small venue, and it will definitely be my last time at the Altar Bar, which is closing for good a week after this show. I’m sad about it because we have such a limited selection of venues to begin with, but I can’t say that the Altar Bar is my favorite. The sound kind of sucks and I almost always have a subpar experience with the crowd, but the bathrooms are wonderful. The staff isn’t bad either! (The bartenders are kind of assholes though.)

Henry is super stoked that he doesn’t have to go to either show since I dragged Blake’s good name into this whole mess.

Honestly though, can we take a moment and give a hand to this MOM GETTING SHIT DONE?!

***

In other parental news, Henry and I got home earlier this evening from seeing the Cure (!!!) in Maryland and almost immediately had to go to some school down the street to register Chooch for this idiotic summer camp bullshit. We had to stand in this ridiculous line IN THE RAIN which other parents because the registration process was flawed as fuck and you do know how bad I hate this shit, right?

“I don’t belong here with all these people!” I cried frantically as Henry parked the car.

“What people?” he asked.

“PARENTS. ALL THE PARENTS. THEY’RE SO UNLIKE ME!”

“Sometimes you have to actually do mom-things,” Henry said, feigning support with a clap of his hand on my shoulder.

Ugh, we stood in this line longer than any Warped Tour line I’ve ever stood in. And at least Warped Tour lines have something worthwhile at the end of them! This one just had ANOTHER LINE. INSIDE THE SCHOOL. WHERE ALL THE SCREAMS OF BABIES, CHILDREN, AND YINZER SOCCER MOMS SWIRLED AROUND ME AS THOUGH WE WERE STATIONED INSIDE A PTA VACCUUM.

(Chooch just did a Madlibs and made it hilariously political with all kinds of Trump and Hilary fill-ins and I’m kind of dying right now, please hold…)

Needless to say, I lasted approx. 5 minutes inside the school before Henry shoved the car key at me and mumbled, “Just go.” So I sat in the car while Henry parented.

Like, can’t I just make sure my kid wears cool shirts, spellz all gud n’ shit, and knows a lot about music? I’m really good at that role.

 

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  One Response to “Parenting Update: I’m Still Doing It, Kind of.”

  1. “This could be the last time I get to see PVRIS in a small venue, and it will definitely be my last time at the Altar Bar, which is closing for good a week after this show.”

    Another dying breath of the music industry. The venues are closing so new bands will have nowhere to play in their cities. That kinda stinks, although I’m sorry your experiences there have been kinda crap.

    “What people?” he asked.

    “PARENTS. ALL THE PARENTS. THEY’RE SO UNLIKE ME!”

    Exactly. These……foreign creatures who give their kids organic shit and pininterest shit and throw them giant parties and make their lives evolve around THEIR PRECIOUS BABIES. You are not of that world and that is why we love you. #momshit

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