Jul 042016



In an effort to give the Internet a break from my amateur music reviews (it’s been a long time since I was in college, but I don’t think they teach you to write OW MY HEART and OMG THE FEELS in journalism class), I decided to start featuring real life people on here to mix things up, give the blog a big ol’ squirt of Febreze.

And my guinea pig is my very great friend Kara! If you know me in real life, then you probably definitely know Kara. She’s a fixture at all of my lame themed parties and the first one that I text when there is some weird idea I have for a photoshoot or just need a Zenith fix. And if you don’t know me in real life but just through this blog, you still probably know who Kara is because she is one of my favorite people to slander on here!

Kara and I met in 2005 on that good old social media grandfather called MYSPACE and we’re living proof that sometimes people literally are just trying to make platonic, social connections with no ulterior motives. Whoever would have thought. She was Chooch’s first crush and is the best person to have at game night because she is NO NONSENSE when it comes to reading directions and keeping people on track. Kara is the first person who will be there waiting with a cupcake when you’re having a rough time of things and usually one of the last people to show up at parties but that’s OK because you know she will be there eventually!

OK, I know it’s the 4th of July but put down your Sparklers and PBR and learn some things about my friend Kara because you never know–YOU MIGHT BE NEXT.



Let’s start with the most important question: What were you like in high school?

Oh gosh. Terrible!

I guess I was some sort of alterna-chick, or at least what that meant at the time. JNCOs , rainbow colored hair, and band t-shirts from Coal Chamber and Stabbing Westward *shudder* If you ask nicely, I could probably find you a picture.

I was also a marching band nerd. How those two happened together I will never understand, but I was in band from 8th=12th grade. Yet I still don’t have any sense of rhythm!

And last, I was also a bit of a mean girl. Our school was very small, so everybody knew everyone else and mostly got along, but I took pride in being a loudmouth that would make people cry.

I told you it was terrible.

You’re a contestant on a game show. How does the host announce you?
Speaking of game shows, remember when we wanted to be on Silent Library? I’m still salty we never did that.

On to the question though-

We’re lucky she didn’t’ flake out on us in an anxiety fueled stupor. She’s addicted to her phone, she’s a bit of a nut, and has forgotten what its like to talk to people over the age of 10 when its not work related. Heeeres Kara!

We would have been so hilariously terrible on Silent Library! OK, back to business: When you and I went to Phipp’s in 2007, I learned that you are scared of butterflies. DRAW ONE. It’s like…art therapy.

Ugh. Ok. I still don’t like how flappy and weird they are.


If you were on MTV’s The Challenge, who would you try to buddy up to and why?


If it had to be a girl or someone I didn’t pick just because I wanted to bone them, I would go Sara. She’s smart, she’s good at the game, and she is pretty even keeled.

Think of your biggest pet peeve. Now write a haiku about it (don’t worry – you know I can’t count syllables):

Nobody wants to

Hear you chew cud like a cow

Shut your goddamn mouth!

You have two young boys but still get out and do things, like running marathons and going to weird museums with me. How did you avoid falling into that domestic bomb shelter after having kids?

Am I really the best person to ask this?

Real talk for a second, I am an anxiety ridden head case. Pretty much every second of the day I am anxious about what I have to do, trying to do stuff but failing because Im anxious about it, or feeling bad about being anxious about stuff. It doesn’t even have to be anything big or important. It’s a terrible negative feedback loop that I get stuck in pretty much constantly.

I run because it is cheaper than therapy. At least that is what they told me, but I have a closet full of running gear and a bunch of race registrations that might beg to differ. Running is a way to get out of the house, meet people in a somewhat controlled setting, and tires me out enough where I can kind of think straight. So I try not to miss that, and my family kind of pushes me out the door if I do because I get a little high strung.

I am pretty sure that you are the only one I do cool stuff with anymore. You are my coolest friend, so I guess it makes sense that I do the coolest stuff with you, but I don’t really get out all that much. I would like to, but refer back to that whole anxiety thing that makes it super easy to say no to things rather than get myself psyched up to do them.

If just one 80s jam had to announce your entrance into every room for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

Oooh, toughy!

Probably Eddie Murphy – Party all the Time. How can you not smile when that jam comes on?!


One of your friends (probably someone you met on MySpace—god, Kara!) is visiting Pittsburgh for the first time and you have one day to show them around. What are your local must-sees?

The Mattress Factory for sure! The coolest museum in town, and I get to show off my ‘hood a bit. I would probably also take them to the water stairs because it is a favorite place of mine. If we are sticking to the neighborhood then we would get burritos at El Burro. If they have small kids, then I feel like playing at Blue Slide Playground in Frick Park is a must do. They have one of those concrete slides built into the hill there, and you have to slide down using a piece of cardboard so much fun! Maybe Spak pizza to end it all? Most of my favorite things revolve around food!

Give us FIVE BANDS that you love, and then you’re free to go:

I’m like the anti-Erin in this department. I haven’t found a new band that I have really loved in many years. I just don’t get as into music as I used to, so finding new bands just doesn’t happen. Maybe you can start dragging my ass out to shows and I can change this? At any rate, my favorites are all old.

*This just totally jogged my memory that you sent me a recommendation awhile ago and I never listened. I need to do this!*

Superdrag: I don’t care if they haven’t made a record in awhile; they are my absolute favorite and probably will be forever.

Refused: The only band I travel around to see. Such a great energy at their shows.

Queens of the Stone Age: I don’t think I will ever get tired of any of their records.

Alkaline Trio: I know, I know. I stopped listening right around Good Mourning, but those older albums grab me right in my heart and take me right back to the best and worst times of my life. They will probably always own me.

Tom Petty: An oldy but goody. This man can do no wrong in my eyes. A lot of bands get really shitty if they stick around too long, but Hypnotic Eye was freaking amazing. 30+ years later and he still has it. Little Kara trivia here – The Traveling Wilburys Volume 3 was the first CD I ever owned.



And now you know a little more about my awesome friend Kara! I’m going to remember what she said up there about dragging her ass to shows the next time some band is playing in a shady frat shack basement in Oakland!

Thanks for participating, Kara! I hope you have zero butterfly encounters today. <3


  4 Responses to “People Feature #1: Kara!”

  1. Tom Petty! One of his CD’s was my morning ritual soundtrack for at least an entire teenaged year!

    You’re awesome, Kara! And you totally sold me on that leather dress, btw

  2. Hopefully there won’t be any grandma related trauma next time you ask me to go to a basement show in Oakland!

    Its pretty hard to believe that the kids didn’t even exist when we became friends, and now here they are all people and stuff!

  3. YAY, you featured Kara! Another new friend I have thanks to you. That picture you took of her above with all the owls on the walls is still by far one of my favorites you’ve ever done. And I did not know about high school Kara–great addition! :D

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