When I walked into Rivertowne after work last Tuesday, I had all kinds of responses ready for the first person who asked me why I was wearing a bologna sandwich on my face.
- BECAUSE COLDCUT MASKS ARE IN NOW, PER THE KARDASHIANS?
- This is what happens when you forget to pay your PETA dues?
- I fucked Oscar Meyer and all I got was this greasy facial?
- This is just the natural, sebaceous sheen my flesh takes on when speed-walking through 1000% humidity in July.
“Why didn’t you just take the T here?” Brian asked, with Kara seconding this inquiry.
BECAUSE IDIOTS DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHATEVER IS EASIEST, BRIAN AND KARA.
Also, my hair looked like I tried to curl a bale of hay.
I loathe going anywhere straight from work. I especially dislike not seeing Henry right after work because I am obviously very attached to him and need him to baby me for at least the first hour after I get home. It was also a weird day at work for me so I was just feeling kind of stressed and not myself, although “myself” is feeling stressed 100% of the time.
But then I started drinking that pineapple beer stuff and while my pores were still clogged with deli semen, my blood pressure was at least coming down. Brian’s friend Robin arrived a bit later and usually it takes me a while to warm up to someone new but she was so awesome and actually was interested in hearing about Bled Fest, so I put her in the “Keep” column.
After having a quick dinner and exchanging show stories, we walked across the street to Stage AE for the Modest Mouse/Brand New show. This show sold out stupid-fast and I was glad that I bought an impulse ticket during the pre-sale.
Kara forced me to get another beer because she’s the worst, and then Brian led us to the Dad Wall; considering this wasn’t a show I needed to be close for, it was just as good a spot as any. I NEEDED MY SPACE ANYWAY.
Dopey face forever.
Modest Mouse was the co-headliner, and they started promptly at 7:15.
I’m not much of a Modest Mouse fan. I used to casually listen to them in the early 00s but I don’t think I own more than 2 of their albums, really. However, I was OK during their set—the only times I gave up and started texting Henry or playing Tapped Out* was on the songs that had banjo. I have this deep-rooted, inexplicably hatred for banjos. I just can’t with the banjo. Sorry, Modest Mouse. SORRY MUMFORD & SONS.
Lol, I’m not sorry at all, Mumford and Sons! You guys suck!
*(J/K, I really did mostly pay attention except for when it felt like my eyes were floating in their sockets because I’m not an alcoholic and three beers for me is 2.5 more than I can handle typically.)
Kara hated everyone around us, and it just so happened that everyone she hated were all there together so it made sense that they were all hated equally. Douches run in packs, you know?
“HEY FRIENDS, I KNOW ALL THE WORDS!” Kara mocked the guy in the green shirt, who literally never stopped pantomiming and throwing his arms around his friends. I must have had just the amount of beer in my system because he was more amusing to me than anything. Would I have preferred to be at a small show with a younger crowd? Oh fuck yeah—but this was tolerable for me.
Which right away should tell you that something is going on with me. Not getting unreasonably hateful of everyone around me at a concert? WHO AM I?
My brother Corey was happy for all this to happen because it was the one thing that finally got me to not only use Snapchat, but create a Snapchat story.
(Sorry, I still don’t think SnapChat is for me! But I love watching Sherri Dupree Bemis’s stories.)
No. I take that back. These two were definitely pushing me to my limit. Apparently though, these two cousins ramming their tongues into each other was way more tame compared to the couple Brian saw who were finger-banging on the other side of the lawn.
“DURING MODEST MOUSE!” he cried.
And then Brand New started and if it wasn’t already evident that 75% of the crowd was there primarily for Brand New, it definitely was then. Brian sulked about this, but he stayed true to his word that he was going to stick around for at least 5 songs and try to like Brand New.
Brian, trying to understand the appeal. Our musical interests are not relevant to each other.
OK, look. Real talk. I’m a fucking sappy, sentimental motherfucker, we all know this. And I think that the reason I felt so strange and unlike myself is because in the back of my mind, I kept dwelling on the stupid past because otherwise I’d probably have to hand over my emo badge, right? But the last time I saw Brand New was in 2009 and it was an emotional disaster. Without getting into it, because I’ve never written about it, it involved: an over night trip to Cleveland, Christina, massive public displays of TEARS, blood red anger, and essentially the end of an era.
I purposely avoided Brand New after that because my saltiness tends to linger.
But when this show was announced, I didn’t even think about it — I just bought a ticket and figured enough time had passed. And I think for the most part, it was fine — they sounded great! They played most of my faves! I was with good people! Just, there was that weird feeling that I kept trying to flick away; being half-drunk helped, but by the next morning, all my emotions came out and I was back to my spirited Key of Kerrigan “WHYYYYSSS.”
So now the question is: do I attempt it again when they play at Riot Fest, or do I skip them and save myself (and Henry) the drama.
I mean, we all know the answer, but please scroll your eyes back up to the top of this maudlin diary entry and see the part about IDIOTS DOING THE OPPOSITE OF WHATEVER IS EASIEST.
And in case you’re wondering: no, Brian did not make it to the end of the show, but I really applaud his efforts! He made it through at least 5-6 songs and said he didn’t hate! But he was sad that the crowd wasn’t more into Modest Mouse, and I relate to that sadness. I think this co-headlining thing was a weird match-up though.