Aug 092016

We got a late start tonight but made it home  in time for Ledecky & Phelps. She still doesn’t know that I’m live-blogging this. 

  • “18 years old and he’s got an attitude like THAT?! Ew.” Re:Australian swimmer Chalmers’ face. 
  • She just made disapproving grunts at the previews for Girl On the Train. But then the Nationwide commercial came on and she approved. 
  • Now she’s talking about some guy who used to come into the laundromat who looked JUST LIKE SCOTT HAMIL and she wanted to walk around town with him and have him give out autographs. ???
  • “He ain’t about to give them reactions,” Judy said as they showed Phelps in the waiting area.
  •  “Her boobs must be like SMASHED in there” as Katie Ledecky tugged on her suit. “LETS GO KARIE, KATIE, whatever.” She’s very proficient when it comes to properly pronouncing her last name though. Somehow. 

  • Chooch made her popcorn to help calm her nerves. 
  • “THAT’S HER MOTHER” after they literally said “here is Ledecky’s mother.”
  • You guys Henry’s mom is giggling like a SCHOOLGIRL over Phelps winning his 20th gold. She hates Le Clos so bad and is just flipping her lid right now. 
  • “I like speed skating.” “That’s in the winter, mom,” Henry calmly corrected her. “Skiing is ok too,” she went on. 

  • Judy just explained the Geico butt-dialing commercial to me: “See it’s calling itself. This commercial is so stupid.”
  • “I want a Michael Phelps jacket.”
  • “I DIDNT KNOW GRANDMA USED TO BE A SWIMMER” Judy just shouted to Henry who is only two feet away. “Yeah she swam for Schenley high school. She used to do the backstroke and all those butterflies.”
  • Judy thinks she can probably go to the Strip District and get one of those Olympic jackets for cheap. “Well, maybe not cheap…”
  • That guy’s got so many jobs,” Judy said angrily about Ryan Seacrest. “He must not have a life.”
  • RYAN LOCHTE *homer drool* Sorry. That was me, not Judy. 
  • Uh…there’s still another Phelps race to go and Judy left the room to sit and read the CIRCULARS?!
  • Judy’s back just in time to offer up a swimming lesson: “You have to learn how to breathe too and all that.”
  • This relay thing is about to start and Team USA just walked out. “MmmMmm, we got all the good ones. Phelps, and um…one two three…four good ones.”
  • PHELPS’ cap just broke???
  • “I can’t believe he lets them put those marks all over him” – Judy obsessing over cupping again. 
  • “I hate when they do that – she’s a little bit crooked. What the hell they got, a magnifying glass?” We’re watching gymnastics now. Balance beam, specifically. 
  • We both agreed that these girls are fake-nice to each other after they complete their routines but they all really hate each other. The Olympics is bringing me and Judy together you guys. We like and hate the same people. 
  • Ok Judy has to take her pill soon whatever that means and I’m going to bed while she continues to mull over the fact that the women’s gymnastic leotards cost $1200. 

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