Hey guys it’s Riley back again with a review, a haunted house review. So its 2016 finally back in October, back in haunted house season!
So we went to three already and I’m going to tell you about all three.
Hundred Acres Manor
Hundred Acres Manor wasn’t that good this year but it was still pretty cool. Daddy took us to Hundred Acres Manor. So yeah, you probably guessed I asked daddy to let me use his phone, and he was pissed but I didn’t care. Anyway when we got there daddy started to watch T.V. Shows on his phone like NCIS and Person of Interest. We got in line and i saw a kid that was in 6th Grade at my school, lets call him Paul. But that’s not important, whats important is there was a costume, a person, a person in a costume, A CHAP STICK COSTUME!!!! It was a weird costume but awesome. I was hoping for a fist bump for when i got up front and she did it! I was so happy.
Okay so to the important stuff. When we went in (Finally) it was the exact same as every other year (I WASN’T SCARED) so of course it started with the elevator then, I don’t remember what was next but i do remember this part where there was a guy getting shocked/executed and Paul was scared to go past because the (fake) guy getting executing was blocking the way. So Paul finally jumped out of the way and we got to move on. Then the group in front of us since the group in front of the group we were in (Paul’s Group is the group in front of our group I forgot to mention we weren’t originally in their group) were going so slow we caught up to them. So there was this part where a zombie was above you trying to get down but there is a rail in the way, so he pushes it down and he starts going like *Ahhhh* and this guy (lets call him Joey) was going clueless as hell and didn’t know where to go so Joey was just like *DOOOY* and there was clearly black plastic strips you had to walk through and we were just standing there in perpetuity.
So instead of writing every freaking detail I’ll just tell you the new parts. So instead of having the maze there was an Alien Part where we were going through a UFO of some sort and this General guy told ME (SPECIFICALLY) not to touch ANYTHING in the UFO thingy so I listened and didn’t touch anything. Oh and also it’s good to be petite because I don’t have to duck in the like cave parts where it swoops down and adults have to duck to get under. All I have to do is nothing. I just keep walking. I don’t have to duck or anything.
Then we went into some house that had music playing *Mr.Sandman Specifically* and Children’s Drawings all over the walls *UGH SO CREEPY* and the lady who lived there lived right next to the Space Craft thingy. So I told her “Are you aware you live next to a giant Space Craft?” and she said “Of course! It’s the best part of living here” (She doesn’t actually live there for the people who thought ‘Wow, she lives in the property of Hundred Acres Manor!’ No she role-play’s like she lives there obviously.)
That was the last part I think. So when we left the building there was a table with two guys giving out some like TEAM NUTZ slip thing and mommy thought it was for bands playing somewhere but then she realized “Oh” its… these. So yeah that is this part of this (Essay?) If you enjoyed this part, comment “Vote H4M”
Allen’s Haunted Hayride & Tavern of Terror
Okay so to start off Me, Mommy, Blake, and his girlfriend Haley went to Allen’s Haunted Hayride first, then we went to the Tavern of Terror.
Okay so we got in line and it was horrible because it was muddy and stuff, so my shoes got dirty. Well they didn’t really get dirty but they were pretty dirty. We finally made it to the Hayride and the first significant parts was that there were TMNT people and they through candy into the hayride and mommy got a piece and i wrestled her and got it and she whined and said “Ha! I found another one!” and I wanted to take it. So she whined the whole time. The second significant part was there was a part with clowns, and Haley hates clowns, so I said “Take her she hates clowns!” so they got in her face and she was freaking out.
The next significant parts was there was “The REAL Michael” came, and you’ll see why I call him that in a second. So there was a fake Michael Myers and then mommy was like “That’s creepy” then the “actual” Michael ran at us and Mommy slid away so when I tried to lean back on mommy I hit the girl sitting next to her. Mommy said “OH THAT’S THE REAL MICHAEL!” and moved away and then Michael crouched/tea-bagged me. Okay then there were these girls at the other side of the tractor and they were talking to this guy (said to be named Avery by the girls) and he was supposed to be their friend, but I don’t think he was.
Then one of the Allen’s who sat with the driver got kicked off of the tractor because he was smoking. So we were like “Yeah, You can’t smoke on the tractor.”
So that was the Hayride! If you enjoyed this part go comment “Vote H4YR1D3”
This is the of Terror and there was no one in line for it so we were the first to go in. But we kinda had to wait because the nurse wasn’t in her spot. In the enterance there was a pirate and he told me to go first so I did and there was the bar first. And there was a bartender and a pirate, like I told you about. There was also another part where you walk through a tunnel and there are these gloved hand that grab you and it’s weird.
There was also a carnival with the Joker and the main attraction Shark-Ini, but he’s gone and you have to escape before he finds you. You had to walk through this mirror tunnel, which was trippy as hell. There was a monster guy who looked a little like Sloth from The Goonies.
If you enjoyed this part go comment “Vote B33R”
Mommy told Jason that daddy was scared of him so Jason stared at daddy.
So for Demon House I went with Blake and Haley again, but my friend, Dimajio went, too so it was an 1 hour away so it was a boring ride because Maj (What I call Dimajio) was listening to music. But we did play a game on the way there. Okay so skip ahead about 45 minutes, we were in the parking lot of the Demon House van that took you to Demon House. So me and Maj had Gatorade’s and mine was empty so we played catch and football with it. So we did that for another 45 minutes. Then finally, Blake and Haley got there. So we finally got to go in the van to get to Demon House. So I forgot to mention it was Maj’s first haunted house. He said he wasn’t scared. Maj also told me if I or an actor jumped at him he would punch me or them.
So we got our numbers and stamps that told us we were number 9, to go in. We waited for them to call our number’s and when they did we got to sit down and wait even more. So Maj got jump scared by a ghost groundskeeper and he almost punched him across the face, but he stopped himself in time. So the whole time we were walking through Maj was holding me or Blake in front of him “Because he wasn’t scared.” We were being chased by a chainsaw guy and Maj freaked out and I thought he was going to run home. Mommy ran for her life and I only ran because the chainsaw touched me. Maj ran for the hills, if I didn’t say before.
Then we were playing hide & seek with some girl’s brother and if he found us we were dead. The whole time we were being pushed by Maj through a dark tunnel. Luckily we weren’t found. There was a carnival part and it was creepy as hell. Well Maj was really scared. There was a clown at the end of this weird fence zig-zag we were going through and he screamed in my ear and my eardrum popped.
Well that was the end of the haunted house, but we still did more stuff.
Me and Maj got Hot Apple Cider and BBQ Lays. But daddy gave me 4$ for balloon pop 3 pins for 1 dollar. So I had 2 dollars and Maj had 2 dollars, so we both got 6 pins. He popped 1 balloon his first try and I popped none. Then with out three last pins I popped 2 balloons and he popped 1. Maj got to get 2 glow sticks and I got bubbles. There was a movie playing called “Dead Alive” and me and Maj hated it, it was so fake. Mommy said “Well, Of Course. It’s supposed to be.”
On the way back home we got a Basket of Fries from McDonald’s and they were good. Well that brings an end to my review. If you enjoyed this part comment “Vote D3M0N”
Hopefully you vote, oh and you can’t vote twice. Good Bye!