Nov 122016

Chooch had the right idea last night, after a long week of rampant emotions, sinking stomachs, and bruise collecting from all the “pinch me, I’m nightmaring” that we endured. He decided that what better way to unwind than by writing haikus, so he and Chris turned it into some strange therapy game, where they would give each other a topic to haiku about, and then read them out loud for me, Henry, and Monica. It made for some entertaining performance art and definitely offered some levity.

I’m going to share them, in case anyone is looking for something to read that’s not perpetuating a divide within our country. Chris’s will be in bold, Chooch’s will be in italics.

Finishing Harry Potter

I can’t do it now

I don’t have enough time now

Just leave me alone


Elephants are cool

Hippopotami are mean

Don’t eat me, lion!

Clowns in the Woods

Killer clowns are loose

In the woods, don’t leave the house

Or else you will die.

Ghosts in a Gang

Oooh, I’m a ghost

My posse and I will kill

But we can’t hold guns

Unicorn Chef

He never cuts onions

Or else scientists will freak

and find his secret

Noodles in Heaven

What is that sweet sound?

Angels plucking their gold harps?

Nope. It’s totes noodles.

Noodles in Heaven

God won’t ever cook

Noodles because he is bad

He can’t work a stove.

Baby in a Hammock

Aw, how sweet is that?!

That baby looks comfortable!

Oh no, he* just fell!

*(Ed.Note: props to Chooch for using an actual pronoun to refer to the baby; I always just call them “it”s.)

Stitch Sleeping

This Stitch is so soft

Let’s go to Hawaii please.

Aliens are cool.

Swimming Pool with Marbles

John lost his marbles

When he went to Hawaii

Now my pool is clear.

Creepy Baby Doll

That doll is naked

It’s praising the god of dolls

It will steal your soul.

And then Chooch and Chris were supposed to “huddle” and come up with a title for one that Monica was going to be forced to write, but Monica created a diversion by shaking out a knapsack of kittens in Chooch’s vicinity, creating a clear path to the exit for herself.


Choose Your Words Carefully

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