Chooch had the right idea last night, after a long week of rampant emotions, sinking stomachs, and bruise collecting from all the “pinch me, I’m nightmaring” that we endured. He decided that what better way to unwind than by writing haikus, so he and Chris turned it into some strange therapy game, where they would give each other a topic to haiku about, and then read them out loud for me, Henry, and Monica. It made for some entertaining performance art and definitely offered some levity.
I’m going to share them, in case anyone is looking for something to read that’s not perpetuating a divide within our country. Chris’s will be in bold, Chooch’s will be in italics.
Finishing Harry Potter
I can’t do it now
I don’t have enough time now
Just leave me alone
Safari
Elephants are cool
Hippopotami are mean
Don’t eat me, lion!
Clowns in the Woods
Killer clowns are loose
In the woods, don’t leave the house
Or else you will die.
Ghosts in a Gang
Oooh, I’m a ghost
My posse and I will kill
But we can’t hold guns
Unicorn Chef
He never cuts onions
Or else scientists will freak
and find his secret
Noodles in Heaven
What is that sweet sound?
Angels plucking their gold harps?
Nope. It’s totes noodles.
Noodles in Heaven
God won’t ever cook
Noodles because he is bad
He can’t work a stove.
Baby in a Hammock
Aw, how sweet is that?!
That baby looks comfortable!
Oh no, he* just fell!
*(Ed.Note: props to Chooch for using an actual pronoun to refer to the baby; I always just call them “it”s.)
Stitch Sleeping
This Stitch is so soft
Let’s go to Hawaii please.
Aliens are cool.
Swimming Pool with Marbles
John lost his marbles
When he went to Hawaii
Now my pool is clear.
Creepy Baby Doll
That doll is naked
It’s praising the god of dolls
It will steal your soul.
And then Chooch and Chris were supposed to “huddle” and come up with a title for one that Monica was going to be forced to write, but Monica created a diversion by shaking out a knapsack of kittens in Chooch’s vicinity, creating a clear path to the exit for herself.