Dec 222016

I was supposed to be helping Henry shop tonight but if you know me even at all you know that I hate shopping, especially Christmas shopping (twist ties and Skittles and something else from my junk drawer for everyone!) so then Henry and I had a fight because I WAS SO OVER STORES AND CASHIERS AND NO ONE HAVING WHAT WE NEEDED BECAUSE HENRY INSISTS ON WAITING UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE.

(Although, three days before Xmas is like super good for us.)

So now I’m home alone (Chooch is at Judy’s) while Henry went back out to deal with this shit. Fuck presents.

Since I’m in a sour mood, I decided to engage is a real tough mental exercise by listing THREE GOOD THINGS from today.

  1. Obviously #1 was when I was forced Chooch to get his picture taken with Santa after work. This was before the shopping, back when Henry and I were still on the same side, and I hadn’t yet missed my 7PM mandatory coffee fill-up. We went to Meder’s, which is where we usually go for Santa picture-happenings, if we even go at all. Because, lazy parents. It wasn’t crowded at all, but we still had to stand in a short line for about 10 minutes, which gave Chooch a chance to reflect upon his poor decisions. “I don’t know why I agreed to this. And this sweater is too small. And how the hell is that reindeer supposed to carry an entire sleigh?” he grumbled, pointed to a stuffed reindeer in a North Pole vignette. And then Santa waved to him while we were in line! SANTA REMEMBERED HIM. Soon it was his turn and, after hissing, “I’m way too old for this” to me, he got nice and cozy with Santa and gleefully said, “NINTENDO 3DS* AND LEGOS” when Santa asked him what he wanted. I told him to go against the grain and ask for world peace, but don’t listen to me, I’m just a basic social justice warrior, a/k/a liberal whiner. “That was so creepy,” he said afterward in the car. “Santa had his legs spread open too far and it made me nervous.”

*(LOL, good luck. Fuck you, Nintendo.)

2. I am OBSESSED with this Joyce Manor song and have been pining for them ever since I saw them last month, please come back to me Joyce Manor (this whole album is on my list Best of 2016 list, it’s so goddamn great). Henry particularly loves it when I put this on in the car and perform fancy hand-dances in his face while he’s driving. “THIS IS MORE DANGEROUS THAN TEXTING WHILE DRIVING, ERIN” he yells and that’s probably true but I JUST CAN’T STOP MYSELF:

3. This is really tough to come up with three. Today didn’t SUCK, but it wasn’t wonderfully exceptional, either. Um, I bought a ticket to see Pianos Become the Teeth next month?! Amer2 brought in cookies that she made with her dad and they were good?! And I got to spend all day trying to convince people that I made them because she set them out near my desk? But no one believed me? OH HERE’S A THING: I renamed Glenn “The Office Voldemort” and he actually seemed kind of upset about it, like after all of these years, and all these photoshops, I finally went too far. Lori seemed on board though.

Oh well, I think I failed this exercise. Henry Claus should be home soon and I bet he’s PISSED, lol. OH WELLz0rz! I’ll just turn up the Joyce Manor.



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