Jul 252017
 

Hey guys, here I am with another edition of “This Was My Weekend In Excruciating Detail”! I can’t wait for the day these posts are actually beneficial to my life. YOU NEVER KNOW. I might need an alibi at some point. Or to fill in the gaps of my deteriorating memory.

Usually I start my weekend recaps with Saturday, but this time, let’s rewind a bit more and start with our Friday night dinner at Zenith, because nothing kicks off a weekend quite like eating out at one of your favorite restaurants! It was a million degrees out on Friday and Henry didn’t want to cook, so we all benefited from this. My favorite part is that Henry was actually the one who suggested Zenith, even though no one believes that a carnivorous mountain dweller like Henry would ever enjoy a meal chaste of meat. But he loves this shit! He loves tempeh and seitan and whatever other soy-based meat substitutes are floating around out there, but don’t revoke his BIG MANLY MAN card because he doesn’t like tofu and that’s a fact. He’s great at cooking with it, but boyfriend won’t put that jiggly curd anywhere past his mustache.

(Henry likes vegetarian restaurants so much, that he’s actually been looking up veg-friendly places to eat this weekend in Toronto. LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY.)

Chooch and I both ordered the seitan French dip, which made Henry sad because that’s apparently the whole reason he wanted to go there, because he happened to see it listed on their weekly menu beforehand, but now that Chooch and I both ordered it, he felt it was breaking some cardinal restaurant rule to have the whole table order the same thing, so he got the Moroccan stew instead. (Elaine, the owner, could tell by his tone that something was wrong when he ordered the stew; “You were going to order the french dip,” she guessed. GOD SHE’S GOOD!) He also got the tropical rice salad which was fucking fabulous and I got a cup of the potato dill soup and relished the fact that I was eating potato soup without straining it for bacon with a fork.

Chooch ordered a piece of the peach strawberry vegan cake to share with me, and Henry got a piece of the chocolate banana cake to go. One of the guys brought a second piece over too and said, “And here’s an extra chocolate for mom” right as I was saying that the peach strawberry was my favorite of all the cakes I’ve ever eaten there, so he said, “Oh….maybe I should have brought you that instead…” and at first he was going to swap it out, but then ended up telling us to keep the two pieces of chocolate and he brought another piece of the peach cake over too!

“Jesus, we walked out of there with almost an entire cake,” Henry laughed. God, Zenith—you freaking spoil us. Best veg restaurant in the city, you guys!

Part Time (Veg) Lover.

Saturday started out slow and casual. Henry had to work, so Chooch and I were on our own. (WELL I GUESS WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE CONTROL, ON OUR OWN….what? Bobby Brown? On Our Own? Ugh, never mind.) We walked to Cafe Noir and I was Responsible in that I looked up at the sky and saw DARK CLOUDS so I brought along an UMBRELLA. And then it RAINED so we had to USE THE UMBRELLA. This is parenting, my friends. See also: being a person who understands how weather works.

We didn’t get a chance to save anything this time. You can only be heroes so often or then it gets old and no one will give you accolades because oh wow, you saved a thing. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re hero, right? Ugh, so rude.

Most of the day was spent chilling because it was storming off and on. Chooch has been binge-watching How I Met Your Mother so Henry and I sat through some episodes with him and it’s not like I forgot so soon how cruel and heart-wrenching this show is, so I was crying all over again at some of the parts, ugh. Also, when Henry and I watched this show (probably the last TV series we watched in real time, i.e. not on Netflix or whatever), I didn’t realize how wildly inappropriate it is until I had my 11-year-old son sitting next to me, so that’s been real great. And he’s already on the last season so I can’t be all, “SORRY MISTER, YOU’LL HAVE TO RESUME THIS WHEN YOU’RE 18.” I mean, come on. Kids know everything these days anyway. Ugh.

Then later that night, Wendy and I went on a ghost hunt at Castle Blood! That will obviously get its own post, but while we were doing that, Henry and Chooch went to visit the Calvin Family (a/k/a Blake, Haley, and Calvin) and Chooch apparently had a grand old time because on the way home later that night, Chooch piped up from the backseat, “I was going to tell you something, but nevermind, you’ll be mad. OK fine, Blake let me use his bow!”

I was like, “OK that’s cool, whatever,” because I was still all a’buzz from ghosts n’ stuff, but then a few minutes later, he cried, “OK, I feel like I’m lying if I don’t tell you this, but I also SHOT A BB GUN!” and then way he said it, with so much anguish, reminded me of the scene from Goonies when Chunk is tied to the chair and telling the Fratellis his sob story. That’s my dramatic kid.

I should mention that Chooch was supposed to hang out with Blake a week ago, but decided he needed to go to his friend Wesley’s instead, so he told Blake to come over later. Well guess what? Blake’s a dad now, dude, and “come over later” basically means that New Parent has extra time to get comfortable and not want to leave the house again. So that’s what happened, and Chooch actually cried real tears and told us that we weren’t allowed to say Blake’s name in our house.

I mean, it was hilarious but also sad because this is the first time Chooch has let his emotions out since Calvin was born and we all knew there was going to be jealousy there. Hopefully this is the beginning of him working through that and accepting the fact that he has to share his big brother now and he’s going to come to second to Calvin. I think eventually, it will be fine and Chooch will probably end up wanting to see his nephew more than his brother, anyway!

My side vs Their side

This brings us to Sunday, a day I love to hate.

Sunday morning, we got to see Chris and Monica for a little bit while I took some headshots of Chris (with my camera, not Blake’s BB gun) for her travel guide résumé. It’s always great to see those two, but we all agreed that we’re due for a longer hang-out soon.

Then it was Asian market time! Chooch opted out so he went over one of his neighbor friends’ houses instead, because we’re at that age now where he will take any option that’s not “shopping with parents.” :(

I was so happy because our favorite market (WFH  Oriental, if you care) finally carries the BIGBANG Nongfu Spring iced tea! I messaged Chooch and he told me to get all of the jasmine grapefruit. I got three.

MAYBE NEXT TIME COME WITH US, BRO.

Honestly, BIGBANG endorsement aside, this tea is so fantastic. When our favorite WFH cashier rang us up, she laughed when she got to the (NINE?!) bottles of Nongfu Spring and said, “Oh, all the teenagers come in and buy this!”

“THAT’S MY FAVORITE BAND!” I cried and she seemed a combination of shocked and impressed, but if you ask Henry he’ll just say she was taken aback by my oozing dumbness.

Also, remember when Daesung was my original bias? GOD THAT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER AGO. (Lol, last December.)

While we were at the store, some younger white couple came in and I could hear them from multiple aisles away as they openly and loudly mocked all the products , said things like, “EW GROSS!” and just basically reinforced the idea that white people are culturally ignorant and racist, whether we want to admit it or not. I was all up in arms over this. I have grown to love this culture so very much, and I hate that these assholes came into one of these markets and made fun of it.

But go ahead, laugh your asses off while we’re over here eating juicy lychees and Japanese purple yams that are so freaking soft they practically melt in the mouth, while you’re eating basic bitch kale from Giant Eagle, you dumb white couple. They must have gotten lost on their way to Primantis.

I bought sweet corn popsicles at the second Asian market we went to. “Good luck with those,” Henry scoffed. Turns out I didn’t need “luck” because they are motherfucking delightful, a real bastardization of creamed corn straight into summer treat form. Fuck yes. Like a sweet, frozen Thanksgiving side dish on a stick.

Later, Henry and I walked to Cafe Noir. Henry has been accompanying me on my walks (sometimes) because he’s afraid of losing me (maybe but probably not) and I’ve really been enjoying it! I get to point things out, like, “This is where Chooch and I busted a bunch of hoodlums smoking pot” and “This is where we found the moth” and “THERE’S THE TATTOO PLACE DO YOU SEE SARAH MILLER INSIDE I DON’T WANT TO LOOK!” Seriously, I’m obsessed with that broad. I want her to tattoo me so badly, that I don’t even care what it is. Anyway, I decided to get a Cannonball because Chris texted me that morning after I recommended Cafe Noir to her and Monica, to tell me that she got the Cannonball. Of course, I ordered it before I asked her if she liked it, and I ended up having major ordering remorse.

“It’s not Cafe Noir’s fault, I just don’t really like carbonated water,” I said with a grimace, trying not to spit out the mouthful of Cannonball that was floating in limbo behind my tongue, but also really wanting to spit it out at the same time. WHAT TO DO.

“Seriously? Then why would would order a drink that has SAN PELLEGRINI IN IT?” Henry cried, the human embodiment of SMH.

I just….I just don’t know what goes through my head sometimes, you guys.

Came home and found this in a drawer and got mad about being misquoted ALL OVER AGAIN. EVEN AFTER TEN YEARS! I get mad on Sundays. Nine out ten holes in our walls are punched on Sundays.

Probably.

Then Chooch decided he was ready to dye his hair again after a nearly two year hiatus. He was originally going to go with ice blue, so we had to bleach it first. The blue didn’t take (it was a shitty brand) but it ended up being OK he decided he wants to keep his hair blond for a while.

Now he reminds me of David from the Lost Boys, which is weird because he’s actually wearing a Lost Boys shirt today that has David on it and I bought a 30-year-anniversary Lost Boys pin set, all without thinking about the connection. Lost Boys is life, though.

I pulled this shirt out of the back of my dresser drawer. MEMORIES! I haven’t ridden the Wacky Worm in like three years! At some point, I realized that I went on four walks that day, and started to wonder how many people call me the CRAZY BROOKLINE WALKER or THAT GIRL WHO ALWAYS WALKS IN GREEN SHORTS.

OMG I’m the new PURPLE PANTS!

GREEN SHORTS!

I don’t know, I think this color really works on him, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Kid Creep.

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Capped off Sunday with some Running Man and Game of Thrones and Chooch got grounded for not coming home before it got dark, HAHA good job dummy. (Except that Henry was over it by Monday so Chooch went back to walking all over him. Ah, family dynamics!)

And that’s all for my weekend.

 

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