Nov 012017
 

Halloween is my favorite day of the year. Literally everyone knows this about me. Every January, I apply my floating holiday to October 31st so that I can spend the day doing all the spooky things I want. But this year was just, not right. Actually, the whole month of October didn’t feel like October to me. Even going to haunted houses — I had fun at each one I went to, but it wasn’t the same. Something was off. The weather was weird. People didn’t seem as stoked.

Even though I had every intention of yesterday being great, it missed the mark. By like, a lot. My biggest mistake is that instead of watching horror movies all day long as intended, I watched the news. The news is scarier than any horror movie, you could argue, but you know…way more real. (Unless you’re into the fake kind.) So I oscillated between high-anxiety, fury, crippling fear, and numbing sadness.

All day long, with a few coffee and exercise breaks.

By the time Chooch came home from school, I was over everything. I could barely even help him finish his costume, which was another stressor in and of itself. Since he’s in sixth grade now, I figured that the days of pouring all we’ve got into his costumes are all but faded memories now. I told him he had to choose something simple, and at first he was going to be Trump Looking at the Eclipse, which I was on board with until I remembered that he would be strutting around in public like that and Brookline seems to be kind of a mixed bag, politically, so did I really want my kid to be inciting any sort of strong feels?

Sucks, because that costume could have ruled! (Maybe we’ll just have to do a Trump meme-inspired photoshoot someday soon.)

Anyway, it was really getting down to the wire and I didn’t want to cop out and buy him something at the Halloween store, so I said, “YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE FULL OF MASKS AND PROPS, PICK SOMETHING AND WE’LL GO FROM THERE.”

So, he went as a hot dog.

Chooch said that all the people loved it and thought it was funny but of course I had a million issues with it because even though I’m technically “retired” from this shit now that he’s older, my Type A’ness still comes out full force.

I didn’t go trick or treating with him though, for the first time ever. He went with his brothers and baby nephews instead and I was sad but I guess that’s life so what the fuck ever. So then my plan was pizza and Stranger Things (we’re only halfway through this new season because we’re slow TV-viewers) but that didn’t work out either so instead it was soju and hot bath. And to be honest, I don’t know why I even put so much stock into this one day when really, everyday is Halloween for people like me. I don’t even really do that much different on October 31st.

I don’t know.

I had a really bad day.

Halloween felt ruined on so many levels.

And you know it must have been bad because I came back from lunch today and there was a big “I Love You” balloon and flowers on my desk. Henry and I are not send-and-receive flower types of people, so this was weird and I didn’t know how to react so I just mumbled something self-deprecating and then found something to hold the balloon down on my desk so it would stop drawing attention to me like a buoyant beacon of “What Did Henry Do?” Like one of those search lights or sky beams that haunted houses use to attract crowds from afar. Come to Erin’s desk and find out who would possibly send her flowers!

But realizing I could turn my empty BIGBANG iced tea bottles into tiny vases was a game changer. Now I like having flowers sent me to at work. Thanks, Henry. Even though now people are asking me what happened to make you send me flowers and that’s not awkward. I’m just going to start responding with “he got the milkmaid pregnant.”

So I think tonight I’m going to go home and just listen to Kpop all night and pretend like the world isn’t on fire. Either that or I’m moving to a prairie and throwing my phone into a gorge.

 

  5 Responses to “Halloween 2017: more like Blahloween”

  1. We totally would go trick or treating with you!! Even I went out AND handed out candy. Strangers? Exercise? Other people’s kids? I was possessed, I’m sure. We stayed away from the rebel flags house and all was well. LOL I’m going to send you pictures.

  2. I was imagining you this week as a kid, wearing your Monopoly board costume and squeezing through doors. C’mon, Erin. You know you loved it, deep down.

    • Ha! I do kind of miss those days, not gonna lie! <3

      • I see you’re not alone in having a mom that chooses the costumes for her kids. Tuesday night, a little girl dressed as a crayon came down our street and she could barely walk in the contraption! She turned to her mom who was walking with her and said with a pout, “Next year I get to pick what I am!” Oh, if you could have seen it, Erin.

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