Dude, you know how everyone loves a good giveaway? Well, now you have something to project that love onto because Mrs. Evil’s is having a contest on her blog RIGHT NOW. She makes these cross stitch kits, but these ain’t your granny’s threaded Kincaide chastity scenes, OK? These are cutely gruesome broken animals and because Mrs. Evils is a gem, she’s giving one away! GO ENTER! It’s super easy, you just have to comment with which one you like best, but if you’re an overachiever like me, there’s some extra credit you can do to earn more entries.
Like writing a haiku. This is mine, don’t steal it! I might try to get it published in one of those fucking chapbook things.
The “Forgot to Bring My Tampax” haiku
Elephant got drunk
With me riding on his back
Uh oh I’m bleeding.
I can never remember the stupid syllable count for haikus so I googled it. Of course, I found contradicting information. So if the first line should have 6 syllables, just pretend there is a “The” in front of the elephant.
And if you’re into humiliating your loved ones, you can make them up all pretty and have them pose with a sign, like this:
Except that the sign was supposed to say “Do I Look Pretty?” but I was too excited/stupid to make it properly.
So go ahead, enter!
3 Responses to “Mrs. Evil’s Cross Stitch Giveaway!”
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So as soon as Paul woke up this morning, I had to show him this picture. His response was:
“Is that same dude from the food pictures? He must really love her.”
I know, right?
You both are pretty in my book.
Chooch keeps insisting that Paul’s name is Justin. When I said, “No, it’s Paul” he goes, “Oh RIIIIIGHT. Justin PAUL.” I have no idea where he gets his info. Probably the same place I get my haiku syllable info.
Anyway, this was fun! I love making Henry feel uncomfortable in his skin.
Your cross stitch patterns are so ingenius. I actually sort of know how to cross stitch, too! My grandma taught me a long time ago and I feel like it was something that I was able to grasp.
I’m so impressed that Chooch knows who Paul is! Even if he calls him Justin. Even if he calls him Motherfucker Justin. I still think that totally rules.
I always use the 5, 7, 5 count in haikus, but I dpn’t think anyone ever cares or counts. As long as it’s awesome like yours.