Dec 19 2017

Work Field Trip to the North Pole

Yesterday was our little group’s Christmas lunch at work. It’s hard to believe that last December there were eight of us, and now there are just five. So much has changed in one year!

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I was looking forward to getting out of the office. I’m going to be honest here – learning of the death of SHINee’s Jonghyun earlier that morning really fucked me up and I was low-key crying at my desk off and on all day at work. I wish I wasn’t this emotional, but…I’m a bi-polar Leo, you guys.

But, I had this lunch to distract me and I really like my work group so it didn’t feel like a drag like it has in the past when I worked for a different group within the department. PLUS, Amber promised that we could get our picture taken with Santa afterward, because our lunch was at The Yard in Market Square, right across from SANTA’S WORKSHOP! I have wanted this to happen so direly for many years, a group picture with Santa, and I have only ever been able to get two people to go with me on two separate occasions (once with Chris when she still worked with us, and once with Amber).

Lunch was good, but I was SO BORED for like the first 25 minutes because everyone was talking about the Steelers game from the night before and some catch that wasn’t a catch and I was like, “Cool but can we talk about me, now?” God!

I was too sad on the down low to finish my salad, and when the waiter brought me a box, I just kind of stared at it and mumbled something about wishing Henry was there.

“Do you want me to help you?” Amber asked, and when I said yes, she sweetened the pot by asking, “Do you want me to just do it for you?”

“YES!” I cried in relief, and Todd was like, “Oh for God’s sake” and Glenn was like, “STOP ENABLING HER, AMBER” and Lauren was just like, “Erin, you are the sweetest person I have ever known.” Or something like that.

This literally happened about 10 minutes after I had finished telling everyone that I was panicking over the weekend about the thought of Henry dying and how will Chooch and I survive, so I asked Henry if he can teach us to be self-sufficient, to which he responded with, “I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO!” Anyway, first we were going to start with me relearning laundry because he’s been doing it since we got together and I honestly would be fucked if someone dropped me off at a laundromat right now…..

….but then we were sitting on the couch, me crying for the 87th time over the weekend (it’s been rough for me lately), when I noticed the front door in my periphery and wailed, “No, first you need to teach me how to open the fronnnnnnnnnnnnt dooooooooooor…..” followed by major ugly tears.

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So yeah, that was our Christmas lunch.

On the way out, we started to walk toward the whole Christmas Market thing but then turned and started to go back in the direction of work. I hung my head in a silent pout, not wanting to say anything because I was in such a bitch-baby mood that I chose instead to fester in disappointment so that later I would have something more to complain about because this is who I am sometimes, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

We were about halfway back to work (which is really only about a five minute walk) when Lauren said, “Oh no, we didn’t get our picture with Santa!” and I sadly shrugged and said, “I know. It’s OK.” And then sighed heavily for emphasis.

Glenn and Todd were like, “TOO BAD SO SAD” and kept walking, but Amber said to me, “Oh, why didn’t you say something when we left?” So then we tried to figure out another day to go back and get it done, because we had already been out of the office for longer than intended, but there wasn’t another day left this week where all of us are in the office.

So then Amber sighed and said, “OK, let’s do this now, but when we get back there you better get to work, Erin!” and I was like, “YES BOSS!!” as I happily jaywalked across the street and you all know how anti-jaywalking I am.

When we arrived at Santa’s Workshop, there was just one family in front of us, and two that were inside the workshop. The lady made us stay outside to prevent the workshop from crowding, and that’s when we all noticed that some dude from KDKA had rolled up with a cameraman.

Everyone but me freaked out. Lauren was trying to bury her face in her leftovers while shouting, “ARE YOU KIDDING, I DO NOT WANT TO BE ON THE NEWS,” Amber was like, “Goddammit, Erin,” Todd looked like he would FOR SURE rather be reliving the not-catch moment of the Sunday night Steelers game, Glenn was reading the Farmer’s Almanac he carries in his pocket (I don’t know, but that seems like something he would do while waiting in line) and I was on the verge of peeing my pants from laughing.

My first real laugh of the day and it was so needed!

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Sorry it was at everyone’s expense. LOL j/k I’m noy sorry!

I don’t know if we ended up being on the news or not but the fact that my work friends were acting like they were on the lam was good enough for me!

Anyway, the whole rigamarole only took about 10 or 15 minutes, which I thought was pretty good. Santa really wanted me to sit on his lap and kept pressuring me but I was like, “CAN I JUST SIT ON THE ARM OF THE CHAIR INSTEAD, YOU CREEP?!” Just kidding, he was a cool Santa. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I really wanted to say G-Dragon but didn’t feel like getting into some awkward explanation so instead I just mumbled, “Music” at which point Glenn smugly said, “SHE LIKES KPOP” and I was like, “YEAH, AND WHAT OF IT, GLENN?!!?!?” UGH!

I look like a fat-faced mess, but this picture is everything to me right now! I felt like it was a great team-building exercise. Also, Lauren needs to teach me how to pose so effortlessly casual! She and Amber both look great in every picture while I’m trying frantically to smile in such a way that it won’t look like my chin is having babies.

Anyway…sorry if this is all over the place but welcome to my brain—we have postcards and magnets for sale at the front desk. And merry Christmas from us guys at the Law Firm! That little excursion really helped lift my mood for a bit. Sometimes going to work is, strangely, just what I need.

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