Dec 222017
 

Today, a/k/a The Slowest Work Day of the Year, a/k/a Day 4 of Wearing Mourning Black, I was at Crazy Mocha during my lunch break. While I was waiting for my chai latte, that Darlene Love Christmas song came on–you know, the one that was in Gremlins and that’s two blog posts in a row that I referenced Gremlins–and I had this weird out of body experience, like I was living inside a dark holiday comedy and everything was moving really fast around me while I just stood there frozen with a forlorn glaze on my saddest landscape of a face, the dull pain of “cried too much this week” thumping methodically behind my left eye.

And in that moment, I wished that I could feel happier about the holidays or you know, life in general; and who knows, maybe tomorrow I will. But right now, I’m just watching the new Twice Christmas MV over and over, hoping that the carefree vibes become contagious.

And I watch this one a lot too because Sana’s cuteness (and how everyone cracks up at her speaking part) makes me temporarily immune to depression. I’m going to try and take better care of myself.

  2 Responses to “merry & happy…or trying to be”

  1. I’ve been feeling like shit lately, as well, Erin. Crying and feeling depressed – the whole bit. Ugh, anyway – I hear ya. :(

    • I’m sorry that you feel bad too and that I have no advice to offer. I too am just trying to hang on with whatever strength I have left. I wish people would understand that OMG XMAS!! doesn’t really do much to lift our spirits, you know? I’ve gotten really good at fighting it through the years but I’m starting to feel like I’ve got no fight left in me.

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