Jan 112018

This week has been wack and I’m glad it’s almost over. The worst part was my dentist appointment on Tuesday – I thought I knew what to expect since I had already gotten the deep-cleaning done on the right side but WHOA NELLY (that always reminds me of “Labryinth”) the left side was so much worse for some reason, from the Novocaine all the way to the final prescription rinse. The last shot of Novocaine had me arching my back and gave me legit shakes and then the actual deep-cleaning was just beastly. BUT! Days of Our Lives came on at one point and it felt like 1984 Erin was standing over me and gently stroking my head….either that or I was having a stroke from the Novocaine.

I really like the hygienist that I’ve had at all three of these appointments. She reminds me of Jessica Smith, this fitness lady on YouTube that I really like because she is so damn inoffensive and mild. Anyway, I think I kind of get on her nerves though because I ask so many questions. Like every time she withdraws to change torture devices, I have a new question all queued up. Like when she was aggressively working around my crown, I started to get so paranoid that maybe she didn’t know there was a crown there, so when I had a moment of hands-free mouth, I blurted out, “Sometimes when I floss, I get really nervous around my crown…” I think she was for sure picking up what I was putting down because she was like, “Even me working back there with these instruments isn’t going to pop that off” and I was like THEN WHY DO PEOPLES CROWNS POP OFF ALL THE TIME AND THEY HAVE TO POOP THEM OUT. But I didn’t really say that because this was around the time I recognized a voice on the TV and cried out, “OMG PATCH IS STILL ON DAYS?!” so then we bonded over Days of Our Lives. She told me that back when she was a kid, the soaps used to also play on the radio and she and her sister used to sit in the backyard and listen to them. I’m pretty sure she and I are around the same age, but I don’t remember the radio thing. Then JENNIFER HORTON had some screen time and I excitedly grunted around the hygienist’s latex’d hands until she removed them my mouth, affording me an opportunity to tell her that I wrote a letter to JENNIFER HORTON AKA MELISSA BRENNAN in the 80s and she send me back a TYPED LETTER on pink paper and an autographed HEAD SHOT. teh hygienist was very impressed.

Later on, we were talking about how all these kids have cellphones that their parents pay for but when she was in high school, she had a pager and she paid the bill for it herself. I was like OMG I HAD A PAGER TOO! But my mom paid for that for me. And the bill for my own private phone line LOL I WAS SO SPOILED.

Damn, now I kind of miss my pager. I used to customize the number so that when people called it, they would hear songs.

The next day at work, Glenn was all ready to be a jerk to me about my dental horrors.

“Good god! Let it go!” he said all disgustedly as I was telling him about how much worse it hurt than the session from last month. But then when I mentioned that it felt like the Novocaine was wearing off halfway through, he was like, “Really. You needed NOVOCAINE for a CLEANING?”


“Oh,” he said in a way that I could tell meant he genuinely thought I was going for some routine, basic cleaning.


Other than that, I was terrorized TWO OUT OF FOUR days so far by this annoying daddy/daughter duo that I hate on the T. I don’t hate the kid, fine. But the dad can fucking suck it. He wears sandals in the summer and I just know he has a variety pack of granola bars in his bags. He always reads to her really loudly on the T, and everyone knows that the morning trolley commute is meant for quiet time. Literally no one else talks but them. On Monday, the wife was with them and he was much more toned down when she’s there. I realized at one point that I actually didn’t hear his big dumb mouth so I looked up and saw that it was because MOM was reading the book to the kid, but in a trolley-appropriate volume, i.e. I could see her lips moving but couldn’t hear her. Meanwhile, DAD was sitting across from them, taking pictures of them on his phone with the flash turned on.

The next day, it was just dad & daughter again and while waiting for the trolley to come, he spotted a robin, so he loudly yelled to the daughter, “LOOK ITS A ROBIN. DO YOU HEAR THE ROBIN. DOES THE ROBIN THINK ITS SPRING. DO YOU THINK ITS SPRING.” ughghhh SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UPPPPPP.

Just let the goddamn schools do the teaching and let us all enjoy the silence PLEASE.

My coworkers think I overreact about this guy but they don’t know the torture that is his booming, dorky voice.

I especially love when she won’t cooperate and he tries to reason with her like she’s an adult. She’s like 3.

It was 60 degrees today. It’s January 11th and this is Pittsburgh. So….

Chooch and I started watching a new drama called Love In Trouble (Suspicious Partners). Henry muscled his way into our watchathon the last night because he always has to co-opt our things but then he doesn’t know what’s going on because he didn’t watch from the beginning and he expects us to tell him. Like, google that shit.

I’ve been making so many new Valentines this week, working on the new Etsy shop for the Kpop ones, and rebranding some of the older stuff like the Valentine sheets. Hopefully by the weekend I will have everything ready to share on here.

I will share my Hyuna card now though because I love it so much!

I just heard Alexa say “Playing Lodi Dodi by Slick Rick” so on that note, Imma go make sure my kid knows that his yo girl mom knew this song way before he did.

  2 Responses to “Thursday Typing Just to Type”

  1. Deep cleanings are no fucking joke! I hate flossing around my crown too. Every time I go in for a cleaning I get super nervous and actually prepare myself to catch the crown with my tongue if it comes off.I’m convinced it’s just a matter of time.

  2. Omg I totally remember the soaps on the radio! My grandmother would listen to it all the time. If it wasn’t playing on the TV with the tin foiled rabbit ears it was on her little kitchen radio where she’d sit by the window and smoke.
    Dental work totally sucks. And, so do loud people on public transportation. Sending him the evil eye.

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