Bulletin, bull et in, bulle tin

Last week was long, weird, and sad. It was also the anniversary of my Pappap’s death and I just didn’t want to deal with anything. But, life goes on and it’s time to close the book on that chapter! So here’s some notable things of the last several days, kind of notable, sort of notable, who cares — here’re some words.

• Henry and Chooch went to the store Tuesday night and when they came back, I noticed that they were stopped on the sidewalk by Hot Naybor Chris. I was watching from the window, because I’m That Neighbor, almost peeing my pants with anticipation. WHAT WERE THEY TALKING ABOUT?! I accosted Henry before he was even all the way over the threshold (YOU KNOW, THOSE THINGS THAT BRIDES ARE CARRIED OVER, NOT LIKE I WOULD KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT). In a very casual way, Henry shrugged and said, “I don’t know, he was asking me if I’ve seen his garbage.” RECORD SCRATCH. HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE. I had to press Henry for more information and apparently, Chris said when he left the house that morning, the garbagemen hadn’t picked up yet, so everyone’s garbage was still sitting on their lawns….EXCEPT FOR HNC’S!!! He was asking Henry if he saw it because Henry leaves for work at like 3:30AM, but Henry doesn’t normally make a point to see if everyone’s garbage is accounted for. I know, weird. This whole situation made me super excited. WHO STOLE HNC’S GARBAGE AND WHY!? According to HNC, his garbage was nothing special, just actual garbage. Mystery on Pioneer!
• I finally made business cards for my new Kpop card shop and I love them! I gave some to some of my co-workers (not Glenn because he would just ridicule it) and I was happy that people were interested! Amber even asked me to tell her who all the people are on it and then she wrote their names above them. And then I gave one each to Nate and Ethan and we had a spirited conversation about Kpop and they’re considering dressing as Kpop idols for Halloween this year. (But, you know, probably not.)

• I was off work on Wednesday, for no good reason but I’m trying to actually use my days before the “end of the year PTO crunch” where I’m rushed to take off random days so I don’t lose them. I usually don’t like taking a day off if I don’t have something to do, but I’m trying to get used to it. I expected to have a quiet day of kdramas, exercise, perhaps some card-designing, but then later that morning, the sirens started. I was unfazed at first because: Brookline. But then it kept going on for a solid 10 minutes and no matter which window I poked my head out of, Wack-A-Mole style, I couldn’t tell which direction the commotion was coming from.  There were so many firetrucks, etc, that it was surround sound. I called Henry at work because he’s the Prince of Police Scanners, but he was all, “I’M BUSY, ERIN. I’M AT WORK.” The cacophony eventually began to fizzle out, so  finished getting dressed and then set off on my walk to to Dormont post office because I refuse to deal with MAUREEN at the one closer to me. Suck it, ahjummah. As I was walking down my street, a firetruck came barrelling past me, kicking up all kind of dust and debris into my face. My eyes were screaming for a bit, and I talked myself out of writing a letter to the mayor by reminding myself that the firetruck was en route to probably put out an actual fire, so I SHOULD LET IT GO. God, this whole “training to play the part of a rational adult” is really grating my nerves.  I turned left onto West Liberty Ave and after a block of walking, MORE firetrucks roared by, these ones were from Mt. Lebanon. “Oh my, I wonder what’s going on,” some old broad said right as I was passing her on the sidewalk, so I slowed my roll and we talked for a bit about how we hoped it wasn’t a tragedy, and then I looked over my shoulder just in time to see the firetrucks TURN ONTO THE STREET THAT BLAKE LIVES ON. I called Henry ASAP and started screaming at him to call Blake. His half-assed response was that Blake was at work and OK. So I went to the post office and stopped to grab an iced latte at Dunkin’ Dunuts, but I just wasn’t satisfied with Henry’s lame response, so I walked down Blake’s street AND HELLO, THERE WERE EMERGENCY VEHICLES PARKED ALL ALONG THE BLOCK WHERE BLAKE AND HALEY’S BUILDING IS!? Part of the street was even blocked off! So I was like, “FUCK YOU HENRY I’M GOING IN!” and I knocked urgently on Blake’s door. Haley answered it and wasn’t covered in burning cinders, so that was a good sign. She said she and Calvin were fine, but apparently a house at the bottom of their hill was on fire, but she hadn’t seen any smoke. I mean, there were so many fire trucks from all over, it was apocalyptic. Even the NEWS CREW was there, so that’s how you know it was a big deal. So, that was about 457945798425 extra words to say that there was a fire near Blake and Haley but they are OK. You’re welcome for the reading exercise.
  • Also, thank god they live literally 1 minute from my house and I can POP IN WHENEVER I WANT.
    • Just kidding. I’m one mass shooting away from agoraphobia so I rarely pop in on anyone and please don’t pop in on me, either.
    • I wish we could go back to less scary times, like when everyone thought there were staples in Thin Mints. :(
• After the passing of Jonghyun last December, this Seoul-based ring company re-released these commemorative rings that they made after Jonghyun’s first solo win on Music Core (a weekly music countdown show). There’s a soundwave of his voice engraved on the ring, from when he said, “Thank you, SHINee. Thank SHINees’ parents for giving lives to us. I love you, SHINee World.” I had to buy one, and it feels like I’m carrying a piece of him with me. I never take it off my finger.

• In other Kpop news, GOT7 announced the dates for their world tour and Chooch and I desperately want to see them in Toronto this July but Henry hasn’t been convinced yet, and if we do this, then we probably definitely can’t do KCON in June, ugh I hate not having all of the money!

• Here’s a picture of Drew and me, but don’t get it twisted: she’s only near me because her container of treats is right there. Ugh.
• I finally upgraded phones. I had one of those beat iPhones with the degenerate batteries. I would leave my house with a 100% charge, walk 10 minutes to the trolley without even taking it out of my pocket, and it would be at 50%. Then, if I had the audacity to actually text or read the news on the 25 minute ride to work, my phone would be dead by the time I got downtown. Especially on really cold days! Henry thought I was making it up until all the articles came out awhile back, exposing Apple. Rather than go through the hassle of getting a replacement battery, I just upgraded to an 8 a few months early. THIS MEANT I GOT TO GET A NEW PHONE CASE AND YOU KNOW HOW SERIOUSLY I TAKE MY PHONE CASES! So I retired my obnoxious “eye-rolling forever” case (which is totally apropos because I can’t tell you how many times I get yelled at for rolling my eyes, esp. at work) for another obnoxious phone case:

• Upgrading my phone meant that Chooch got my sloppy seconds. He knew that my phone was being delivered on Tuesday, so when he woke up that morning, the first thing he said was, “I GET A NEW PHONE TODAY!” New to him, I guess. He doesn’t have an actual plan, but he likes to use my old, garbage iPhones for game-playing purposes.
• • Late that night, I got a phone call from someone in Etna, PA. I didn’t answer because it was almost midnight and I figured it was probably a wrong number because friends don’t call friends anymore, like ew. But then I got a text that said, “Hey. Is this Erin?” and then I started panicking for clearly someone must have died if I’m getting phone calls and texts at midnight. I went upstairs and woke up Henry and as I started telling him this, Chooch called out from his room, “That was just me!” because he always gets those free phone numbers on my old phones and I should have fucking known this!!!
  • Friday night, he was still setting up his phone and I asked, “Do you have Janna’s number in there yet?” He didn’t so I gave it to him. “I’m going to text her and tell her to play Roblox,” he laughed, because she gets so annoyed when he hounds her about that. “WAIT!” I cried. “You should prank her first.” And that is how we spent an hour of our Friday night, sending Janna creepy texts, texting her her address, sending her the man silhouette emoji, etc etc. Then Chooch called her and breathed heavily and we were peeing our pants because I’m in 6th grade too and pranking people is my motherfucking wheelhouse, man. Then Janna sent me this!!!!

And it’s so funny because that was probably ME who was laughing at the end! I led her on for awhile, and when she mentioned that the call came from Etna, I said, “Maybe it’s the Scarehouse!” because that’s a haunted house in Etna, lol. Anyway, once she told me she blocked the number, I said, “That was a mistake.” And she was all, “?” So I sent her a video of Chooch cracking up and Janna said, “Goddammit.” I can’t believe she didn’t immediately accuse me?! “I mean, I’ve been doing this shit to her since like 1994,” I said to Henry. “Yeah, and now your spawn is doing it,” he said and I think I mistook his tone for pride when really it was disappointment.

• My house was really missing something and then finally I realized it was ice cream cone garland. One of my IG friends commented on this picture and said she wants to be like me when she grows up and I said the secret is to just not ever grow up. And that’s how you can get away with living in a colorful dump decorated with party supplies.

• I will end this with a picture of beautiful Kwon Jiyong at his last fan event in Jeju Island before he enlists in the military this week. But guess what?? I just read that he’s going into the same division or whatever as the actor who played Lawyer Noh on Love In Trouble (Suspicious Partner)!