Jan 162010
 

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

  • 09:36 Having my ass handed to me on Words With Friends, but totally OK with it since it’s by Nic Newsham. #
  • 14:11 Fuck you, Chutes and Ladders. #
  • 14:55 Henry’s taking down the tree. I’m pretending to be sad but really I’m just happy to have an unobstructed view of the TV again. #
  • 18:29 How come I’m the one who’s sick, but Henry is the one who gets to do all the resting. Something is very wrong here. I want a divorce. #
  • 18:35 RT @BreakingNews France proposes law banning ‘psychological violence,’ which would make insulting one’s spouse a crime – BBC / I’d be fucked #
  • ***
  • 11:48 Sometimes I wonder when my unborn baby is going to start haunting me. I could use some grey hairs. #
  • 14:53 Chomping at the bit. yfrog.com/3lw0evj #
  • 17:46 Dear @awoodhick, your son and I are wasting away to nothing down here. Please feed our faces on the ASAP. #
  • 19:14 Let’s go Pens. Please? Let’s go. #
  • 19:19 I was not ready for that pizza. Hopefully I’ll have dropped a dress size or two by the time this mysterious illness says goodbye. #
  • 21:06 Sometimes I expect to look over and see Chooch making devil eyes while feasting upon a dead bird. #
  • 21:37 OK, Luca Caputi totally just made me cry. That was a thing of beauty. GO PENS!!! #nhl #pens #
  • 21:58 God damn, that was a good hockey game. Thank you, Penguins! #
  • 22:43 Holy shit, the USA hockey team just won the World Juniors, only the second American team to do it. #
  • ***
  • 15:57 Chooch has to be lured in from the snowscape with cookies. #
  • 16:37 Do you remember me, outdoors? It’s been 7 days. But I’m back, bitch. #
  • 23:58 I like when Henry gets scared I’m going to leave him & suddenly starts cuddling with me. Makes me laugh. #
  • ***
  • 17:02 Me: Chooch, put a shirt on. Him: I can’t! Because I’m a nudist! #
  • 19:34 Sure, kid, you can wear that outside to play in the snow. yfrog.com/1euhtj #
  • 19:41 Intensity is Penguins vs Flyers. #NHL #
  • 21:05 Penguins, I love you guys but that was totally a goal. Good “save,” Johnson. Wink wink. #
  • 21:49 Hockey heartattack. #pens #NHL #
  • ***
  • 08:50 Thanks to the local people who are buying my stuff at Wildcard! These consignment payments are so unexpected and pleasing. #
  • 17:09 Henry just admitted outloud that he relates to Jersey Shore’s Ronnie. Maybe he’ll FINALLY start wearing shirts with sequined decals. #
  • 19:25 Post-workout finds me peeling Christmas tinsel off my sweaty body. It’s really as glamorous as it sounds, 100% Lady Gaga-approved. #
  • 19:42 I hope to at some point get to see @thefelixculpa in 2010. “No.5 With a Bullet” was/is a mix cd staple. #
  • 21:40 I forgot bassoons existed. Maybe it’s a sign I should learn to play one. #
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  • 10:39 It’s ridiculous the things that make me nervous. Like: not having a slip cover on the couch because Chooch spilled hot chocolate on it. #
  • 10:40 Henry leaving the Saran wrap out. #thingsthatmakemenervous #
  • 10:40 Driving past water towers. #thingsthatmakemenervous #
  • 14:57 Chooch drew this at the laudromat. No comment. yfrog.com/1ekglhj #
  • 16:34 Frozen rivers. #thingsthatmakemenervous&disgusted #
  • 19:30 I love wine and goals by Billy Guerin that are not made by distinct kicking motions. #pens #NHL #
  • 20:12 I’ve eaten so little lately that one glass of wine has me tottering. Suddenly Henry is a predator. #
  • 20:44 This hockey game is bananas! Chooch’s dad Gonchar got a goal upon review and all of Toronto is booing but I’m cheering. #
  • 21:15 The #penguins not blowing this lead would be like the dropped benzo tab in my Saturday nite wine glass. That is to say: illegally awesome. #
  • 21:17 I guess Crosby heard me unabashedly screaming “be a hero!” #NHL #pens #
  • 21:48 Penguins, you made mama’s night!! I’m so energenic right now it’s ridic. I might go looking for a fight…down at the bingo hall. #NHL #pens #
  • ***
  • 12:08 Skating party today! I’m so excited it’s stupid! #
  • 13:43 Yeah boyzz. yfrog.com/3go8mgj #
  • 14:03 Omg couple skate! I wonder if Henry will skate with me??????? #
  • 14:08 I had hoped henry would have proposed to me during couple skate. Wishful thinking!!!! #
  • 14:24 Stacey raised the roof and promptly fell on her back. #
  • 14:39 Go Choochie go! yfrog.com/aujk8qj #
  • 15:06 Skating to Gaga is infinite happiness. I am so overheated but give me more!!!! #
  • 15:11 Some ppl are in a skating coma yfrog.com/33sfhj #
  • 17:18 This has been such a rad day. & now my bro is coming over to watch horror movies b4 departing for the land of The Cure & Strongbow. #
  • 20:27 Janna had a hard time reading Fearnet synopses so Corey told her to sound it out. Maybe it’s the wine but I can’t stop laughing. #
  • 20:29 Corey and I stopped listening after the second one so Chooch chose The Devils Chair for us. #
  • ***
  • 01:02 I love it when Janna tells stories. Her hand motions! They’re special. #
  • 02:18 I’m going to miss my brother. :( #
  • 13:58 Kiss them for me, I don’t want to be diseased. #
  • 17:33 I have a dire need to go sledriding on the asap. #
  • 19:42 Blake gifted Chooch with the mini version of his slippers. Chooch thinks he’s the shit now. yfrog.com/auqtqxj #
  • 20:53 If I ever get amnesia, I want the first info told to me to be: “You don’t like cream soda.” Yes, even before my name. #
  • 21:20 Henry’s trying to teach me about cold air returns. I stopped listening so long ago. #
  • 21:25 If the #Pens had the same power play skillz as they did during the playoffs, this game should be 6-3 right now. #
  • 22:02 EATON!!! He was due for a goal. Go Pens! #
  • ***
  • 14:45 I might be a little afraid of the house today. #
  • 23:03 Watching Chooch interact w/ a 19mo boy was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in awhile. Especially when a toy was chucked at his head. #
  • 23:04 Remember when I hated Cheezits? God, I was so naive. #
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  • 10:09 Morning highlight: Spying Dip (of famed aquatic frog duo Chip and Dip) chew his food pellet. #
  • 10:34 There is a strong possibility that sledriding is in my future. And a good probability of a head contusion. #
  • 12:12 There have been times when I’ve honestly been unable to decipher Blue’s Clues. Once, it was a fire boat & I was like “Those exist??” #
  • 15:15 Still mildly obsessed. yfrog.com/3nks1zj #
  • 15:16 Yes Chooch, let’s sledride down that cliff. What an ingenius idea. #
  • 16:07 Hoooooo lawd I forgot how exhilerating sledriding is. Chooch complained the entire time. #
  • 17:26 There’s a direct correlation btwn the condition of my complexion & how well the #Pens are performing. In other words, plz win tonite boys. #
  • 17:44 whaaaat // R.I.P. Jay Reatard: bit.ly/5XGTor via @addthis #
  • 19:12 Supposedly my grandma has been asking for me, because she wants me to break her out of the hospital. Oh, NOW she wants the black sheep. #
  • 21:22 Fingers crossed for you, my #Pens. Try not to let Iginla get ya. #NHL #
  • 21:44 Oh god I’m already watching through my fingers. #pens #flames #
  • 22:03 Slump or not, Sidney Crosby is on fi-yah. If only the #Pens stats reflected that. #NHL #
  • 23:04 That’s a god I’ll pray to // RT @everythingpitt @mike8120: @Brian_Metzer Bring Mike Lange back to TV for the lov e of the Hockey Gods!!!!!! #
  • 23:16 It’s not hello; it’s jello. #
  • ***
  • 00:04 Great game, #pens! But maybe we can bring back Malkin’s parents? #NHL #
  • 09:52 NO MORE PLAYDOH. I can’t even. #
  • 11:35 It’s not ramen; it’s brain noodles. Don’t be ridiculous. #
  • 16:39 I’m elbow-deep in a mix CD for Alisha and it feels nice and cleansing. Making mixes is one of my favorite things to do. #
  • 18:48 Sitting in Taco Bell while Alisha writes a verbal thesis on drapes. #
  • 19:57 I was going to say that I might be the worst wii player ever but then remembered that Alisha is playing too. #
  • 21:01 Me: I hate this game because I can’t cheat. Alisha: I LOVE this game because you can’t cheat. #
  • 21:40 I love Canada. #
  • 23:12 Fleury!! Way to not take that shit! I love it when goalies get scrappy. #pens #
  • 23:51 PENGUINS! I’m so worked up, there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep after the game ends. I love these late games. #Pens #
  • ***
  • 10:24 I am an entire floor and two rooms away from the radio in my bedroom, but there’s no mistaking the distinctive intro to Whitetown. Holla. #
  • 11:44 Succeeded in offending someone, as usual, on Facebook. You’d think after 10+ years some ppl wouldn’t bat an eyelash at my antics anymore. #
  • 12:37 I want to give Callie from The Real World a big fat hug. #
  • 14:10 The only way I can please everyone is by hiding who I really am and that’s just lame. Not doing that, no apologies. Fake people are dumb. #
  • 14:24 Dear Twitter god, plz pray that the job training I’m going to tomorrow isn’t too good to be true. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter. Now you can rest easy, knowing my (sometimes incriminating) inner-most thoughts, actions and tampon-change. Please do not call the FBI.

  3 Responses to “tweets, for your consideration.”

  1. Just because I lack self-control in the TMI department.I have to tell you something at the risk of kinda creeping you out. I have had two dreams that me and my kids came to visit you….in one your hair was cut in a pixie cut and we went to all the attractions in your town..and ALSO last night I had this dream me and my kids were collecting cans over by our local college HAHAHA!!! and we found a box your family had buried under a box of leaves-it was some type of pirate plastic box and it had a bunch of kids toys in it and some how we (me and my kids) knew that these were chooches toys and you had hidden them there because when you guys come to explore at the spot he sometimes gets bored,so you already would have toys there. I also had a dream I was 6 mos pregnant with some guy and his family wanted me dead so his relative broke into my house and stabbed me in the stomach but it didn’t affect my pregnancy. It just hurt real bad and when I woke up @ 3a.m. I had to go pee so bad it hurt.Last night was a weird night in the way of dreams. :)

    • I kept meaning to reply to this – sorry it took a WEEK!

      Anyway I’m not creeped at all. I think it’s cool! Isn’t it weird how people we don’t know in person, just online, can wind up on our dreams? Sometimes I would dream about random livejournal people, but theyd always appear as their icons, which was not often actual pictures of them, lol.

      The last dream you had, the one about getting stabbed, sounds horrifying!!

  2. yeah…..our brains are weird sometimes. Well, glad you weren’t all like “omg…freaky lady” I even wished maybe I could delete my post because I even have a tendency to overshare irl and some people can’t handle it. The stabbing dream was weird that effing baby daddy of mine whoever he was! :)

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