Things About Henry: That I Hate

Mar 17 2008

When he asks me to be more specific about the obvious.

"Henry, where are my keys?" I have two keys: house and car. They’re bound together in holy matrimony by the power of one keychain.

"The keys to….?"

"The titanium vault where we keep all the Nazi bodies and velvet satchels of rubies. The car, you fucking asshole."

When he’s vague when the question warrants specifics.

"What are you making?"

"Dinner."

"But what is it?"

"Food."

7 comments

7 Comments so far

Rachy March 17th, 2008 10:01 pm

Ha! Hey, I learned a while back while working at a nursing home that the answer to “what are you making for dinner?” is always “food”. If you tell people what you’re cooking, they have exactly the amount of time from when you tell them until you serve them to decide that they HATE whatever it is.

It’s a defense mechanism. It’s survival.

It drives my kids crazy. :)
Tuna Tar-Tart March 18th, 2008 1:19 pm

Lol, Henry read this and said, “That’s exactly why I say it, what she just said.”

YOU GUYS!!!!!
Alyson Hell March 18th, 2008 8:09 am

The thing that made me laugh most about this is the title. Not “Things about Henry that I Hate.”

Things about Henry: That I Hate.

*laughing alone*
Tuna Tar-Tart March 18th, 2008 1:20 pm

No, you’re laughing with ME! :)
Bueno Mexicana March 18th, 2008 5:51 pm

henry is my BoIIIIIIIIII!!!!

i should have a things about henry that i love post:

COOL SOCKS
FREE BEVERAGES
TASTY FOOD
(SOMETIMES) FUNNY
HE LIKES KOOL-AID, well did as a child.

AND- generally, he’s kind and patient.

ok. you can puke now.

OH YEAH!!! AND HIS BRIEFCASE
Tuna Tar-Tart March 18th, 2008 10:06 pm

I keep picturing henry walking around with a briefcase full of faygo swag now, THANKS.
Janelle (spsilverfox) March 23rd, 2008 11:52 am

haha, I used to do that to a former boyfriend, it drove him crazy…

him = what do you want to eat?
me = food
him = what kind of food?
me = the edible kind