Technically, it’s still 12/18 in the US, which means it’s already been 2 years since the world lost Kim Jonghyun. It still feels very surreal and raw when I think about it, and it’s hard to explain how the death of a person you didn’t really know “in real life” could have such an impact on you, but the loss of Jonghyun really hurts even to this day. I guess it’s relatable to an extent, knowing that he was drowning in such sadness. And also the fact that he was a brilliant artist—it hurts. Knowing that SHINee will never fully be 5 again is so depressing.
I look at this framed picture of Jonghyun every day. It’s hanging in my room and his face reminds me to keep going, to smile through the sad times, but also to ask for help when I need it.
I wore one of my Jonghyun pins today in his honor and let it slide when people jokingly made fun of my love for Kpop idols. I tried to be nice and pleasant to everyone even though I was crying on the inside.
Well, I’m going to force my cats to cuddle with me and while I cry, and they’re certain to reject me so look out Henry, here I come.