Jun 082010
 

glasses

All you wonderful people who have been insisting for YEARS that I check Zenni Optical for glasses will be very proud of me. I finally bought a pair. But not without a plethora of panic attacks and mid-grade anxiety. Ask Henry. He had to live through it.

These were the largest ones I could find without upgrading to SKI GOGGLES. And I am still not sure these will even be large enough. I had to lie about my pupillary distance (which Henry had to measure for me because it wasn’t on my prescription) just to be able to order these, because my actual measurement is too small. I don’t even know what the fuck a pupillary distance MEANS, it’s been so goddamn long since I’ve had eye glasses.

Goddammit, the more I look at these, the more I start to doubt their girth. It would be helpful if Zenni Optical had photos of people wearing all the glasses. (Maybe all at once, too.)

And of course, my left eye is all fucked up now! It doesn’t hurt, but there’s a red mark on it, like I must have poked myself perhaps? In any case, I was too afraid to slap a contact on that eyeball yesterday, so I went to work half-blind. That wasn’t a disaster or anything. Halfway through my shift, it was pretty much like being without both eyes, because my right eye got so tired of doing the work of two. It’s not like I’m working with LEGAL DOCUMENTS OR ANYTHING.

At one point, one of my co-workers asked me why I was acting weird, or maybe it was scared she said. It was probably because I was trying to figure out who was standing three feet away from me. I had a real “startled rabbit” charade going on last night. Well, that or a tweaked-out raver.

I’m going to ask the Olson twins to start an eyeglass line. It’s the only way.

  4 Responses to “Possibly the Last Eyeball Chapter (but most likely not)”

  1. Haha! Can’t wait to see a photo of you rocking these…they would be even more awesome with a light pink tint on the lenses.
    Pretty sure that PD doesn’t matter on single vision (not bifocals or progressives) lenses. Unless you get that polarized crap that I hate and they’re always trying to sell me.

  2. I like those frames. A lot. Off to check out the entire line now.

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