Jan 202022
 

Hi hello what’s up hola *hello in ASL*. Today I was in a video call at work and my former manager gave a shout out to my serial killers, and my friend Carrie pimped out the Golden Girl set in another meeting last week. And these happenings both made me realize that other people are promoting my Valentines more than I am, because I am a lazy businesslady.

So this is me, reminding you that I make Valentine cards: serial killers, porn stars, The Cure, Golden Girls, cult leaders, and kpop. WOW.

Anyway, today let’s ooh and ahh over one of the serial killer sets which used to be my top seller, but this year it appears to be Golden Girls which is so bittersweet because RIP Betty :(

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I’m so much happier with the new backs!

I love these cards so much because they bring back fond memories of Valentine parties in elementary school, when we all got to fuck a shoebox with a glue stick and crepe paper and then run around stuffing Scooby Doo sentiments into everyone’s “mailbox” even if we didn’t like the person because THE TEACHER SAID. My favorite part was the candy and cupcakes though. I was a fat kid.

And then in fifth grade, I was the fat kid with a perm.

AND BRACES.

FML.

But I somehow still got Valentines so I didn’t hate the damn day.

Even now, as a grown as adult, I like passing out Valentines at work. I passed the serial killer ones out one year to mixed reviews. My one co-worker received an Albert Fish one and sent me an email that said, “OMG I just Wiki’d that guy. He was so terrible! Why would you give me that card?!”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Surprisingly, no one reported me to HR.

Life is all about taking risks, you know?

This set includes 16 different designs! Can you even imagine? They do not come with envelopes though because they’re mini-cards. There are so many uses for them! One of my customers told me that she hid all of them around the house for her husband to randomly discover as he went about life. I thought that was so cute!

The backs include the names of each hellion in case your recipient isn’t as up to speed on their murder shows as you and me. So I guess you could even say that these are EDUCATIONAL TOO!

They could even be used as gift tags! Party favors! (REMEMBER PRE-PANDEMIC PARTIES??)

What are you waiting for?? Go grab a set!

I also have sets for vintage porn stars, cult leaders, Golden Girls, The Cure, and you can find several kpop sets in my KPOP SHOP as well!

  3 Responses to “Serial Killer Valentine Sets Still Exist Even Though I Suck At Advertising”

  1. Sheesh, those cards could give unsuspecting little kids nightmares if you didn’t know who gave it to you. And aww, I’ll bet you looked adorable with a perm!

    • I passed them out one year at work and one of my work friends was like, “I just wiki’d the guy on the card you gave me and now I won’t be able to sleep”! I’m like a Sour Patch Kid :)

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