Jul 312010

When I was a senior in high school, there was a boy named Dan a few grades below me who got harassed and harangued on the daily for carrying a purse to school. It was sort of an odd contrast, considering he was always wearing Anal Cunt and Cannibal Corpse shirts, but I always felt so bad for him. There was one boy in particular who seemed to have been the ringleader in the witch hunt for Dan. He got most of the school to call Dan “Purse Boy” and basically made his days hellacious.

I’ve always been a sucker for the outcasts, so I took it upon myself to give Hell right back to this kid, whose name I won’t mention but I will say he looked like Edward Scissorhands, was short and drove a big truck. Actually, a lot of it was that I liked confrontations and it gave me a reason to get all aggressive with this guy whose mere presence in my school rubbed me the wrong way.

One night, this kid happened to be at Denny’s at the same time I was there with my boyfriend at the time, Psycho Mike, and our friend Jon. The kid was sitting at one of the round booths, acting like the King he thought himself to be, and I marched right over and said, “Get outside, we need to talk.” He laughed at first, but then I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and he followed willingly, because how dare I attempt to stretch out his precious shirt.

We had words. Jon stepped in at one point and made some threats too, which was funny because Jon was this big 6’4″ guy sneering down upon this little Goth kid.

Anyway, it must have worked because Dan was never called “Purse Boy” again; at least not to his face. I ran into him at the Rib Fest the summer of 1998 and he thanked me for that. (I was at the Rib Fest to see BAD COMPANY, hahaha.)

And then ironically, Jon and I wound up becoming good friends with the little Edward Scissorhands. I actually miss that guy.

After all of that, I still named this photo “purseboy” when I scanned it.

  8 Responses to “#4: Don’t Call My Friends “Purse Boy””

  1. Wait, is that you in that picture!? I mean, the one with the blonde hair, not the other kid. ;) You look so different!

  2. I so remember him, can’t remember his last name for the life of me tho

    I actually remember, a year or so after graduation, I went with him and a few friends all night bowling, and he nearly got into an altercation with a bunch of jock assholes

    ahhh, the memories

    • Palso!

      Ew, who were the jock assholes!?

      • I can’t even remember, but it was just an “interesting” night…I’m pretty sure they were TJ football jocks, but like I said, they were so insignificant to me, I can’t remember for the life of me who they were, we left, they pussied out on their threats, and Dan lived another day

  3. This blog had the exact same reaction on me as watching “Little Miss Sunshine. Read through completely straight-faced and serious until the very end, where I laughed so hard something inside made a tiny popping noise. Brilliant :)

  4. Did he really carry a purse or was it just a messenger bag or something that they proclaimed looked like a purse?

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