Last summer, my friend Erica alerted me to the wonders of Sprint relay phone service, where the hearing impaired could type out messages in a text box and get an operator to make the call for them.
Fuck, I abused that for a good week before running out of steam.
One of my favorites was when I used it on Christina. She actually answered the phone while she was at work and was thoroughly confused.
For some stupid reason, she had no idea I was behind this. What a retard. Another reason to be glad that friendship ended. When she found out it was me, she exclaimed, “I should have known! You’re the only person I know who says commode.”
I also did this on my brother Corey, but he didn’t answer so the operator had to leave a voice mail. A few days later, Corey and I were in Janna’s car on the way to the fair when he said, “Oh! I have to play you this weird voice mail I got. It’s so random!”
Immediately, I started cracking up. Pee drops happened. Tears fell.
“I didn’t even play it yet,” Corey laughed, unaware of what was really going on. So he plays this message, and it’s a man operator saying, “I took a dump and finally passed that crown that fell off. Please take me to the dentist before your D&D tourney. Thanks, I love you.”
Janna, in the driver’s seat, goes, “That’s weird, Corey. I got something similar,” and played her message which said:
The operator was a women and she sounded very agitated while relaying this message.
“That’s so weird!” Corey yelled from the backseat, and I’m essentially plugging my urethra at this point to contain the urine.
These aren’t even that funny, but when you’re an 8-year-old like me, it doesn’t get old.
I did this to my friend Bill too, but didn’t save it! I think his said, “Please stop by Home Depot on your way home from work. Mother escaped from the basement again.” They had to be quick messages, and not too foul, to ensure that the operators would actually say it. Bill actually answered the phone when they called, so that was pretty entertaining.
The Sprint decided to make people register in order to utilize the service, so that ended that. Although I think I found another site to use. Maybe I’ll try that out tonight after Alisha comes back from Harlem with my barbiturates.
Tags: Corey Janna, Home Depot, love, weird
Damnit! I wish I had known about this gem before they made it more secure!! I am just dreaming up the possibilities now… :) my list of people who deserve to be pranked is so long.
I went ahead and registered with a persona over at i711.com. If you don’t use it in excess, I bet it would be OK.
I’m using my new account to call Henry with non-pranks, like “Don’t forget the milk” just so it looks like my account is legit. Then I can slip in a prank here and there!
I remember that conversation! I think we went back and forth a bit, but it was impossible to keep a straight face on the phone. Its easy for you since you only need to type and read, I had to talk to a person.
“I’ll take 2 ounces of your finest barbiturates good sir”
Thank you! I have a prank victim for you when you’re ready.
I wish I had saved that one, because you playing along made it that much funnier!
I got blamed for the incident btw. He called me up immediately afterward laughing and I had no idea what was going on. He didn’t believe me at first.
awesome. you are awesome. you have no idea. or maybe you do. FUNNY FUCKING LAY-DEEE!
This is why I like you. You read these and think it’s awesome. Henry reads them (or receives them, as it were) and thinks I’m an immature retard, lol.
THAT WAS YOU?
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.
BUMMER ABOUT THE KNIFING BUT I’M GLAD THE CULPRIT WAS INJURED IN THE SCUFFLE.
DAMMIT. This was supposed to be a two-parter. I was going to call you myself and pretend to be the lady with the knife. FOILED!
You used the word commode, and for that, I love you.
Otherwise, why I am I sitting here in my office, crying? Because of you!!!! Oh god, this is some funny shit!