Last summer, my friend Erica alerted me to the wonders of Sprint relay phone service, where the hearing impaired could type out messages in a text box and get an operator to make the call for them.
Fuck, I abused that for a good week before running out of steam.
One of my favorites was when I used it on Christina. She actually answered the phone while she was at work and was thoroughly confused.
For some stupid reason, she had no idea I was behind this. What a retard. Another reason to be glad that friendship ended. When she found out it was me, she exclaimed, “I should have known! You’re the only person I know who says commode.”
I also did this on my brother Corey, but he didn’t answer so the operator had to leave a voice mail. A few days later, Corey and I were in Janna’s car on the way to the fair when he said, “Oh! I have to play you this weird voice mail I got. It’s so random!”
Immediately, I started cracking up. Pee drops happened. Tears fell.
“I didn’t even play it yet,” Corey laughed, unaware of what was really going on. So he plays this message, and it’s a man operator saying, “I took a dump and finally passed that crown that fell off. Please take me to the dentist before your D&D tourney. Thanks, I love you.”
Janna, in the driver’s seat, goes, “That’s weird, Corey. I got something similar,” and played her message which said:
The operator was a women and she sounded very agitated while relaying this message.
“That’s so weird!” Corey yelled from the backseat, and I’m essentially plugging my urethra at this point to contain the urine.
These aren’t even that funny, but when you’re an 8-year-old like me, it doesn’t get old.
I did this to my friend Bill too, but didn’t save it! I think his said, “Please stop by Home Depot on your way home from work. Mother escaped from the basement again.” They had to be quick messages, and not too foul, to ensure that the operators would actually say it. Bill actually answered the phone when they called, so that was pretty entertaining.
The Sprint decided to make people register in order to utilize the service, so that ended that. Although I think I found another site to use. Maybe I’ll try that out tonight after Alisha comes back from Harlem with my barbiturates.Tags: Corey Janna, Home Depot, love, weird