I’m hyper. Alisha is being a good sport and sitting here silently, letting me rant and rave and she didn’t even really laugh too hard when I was looking out the front door and smacked my face off the glass because I forgot I was wearing my glasses.
Then I was sitting outside regaling her with the time last week when I asked Henry, “Do you dare me to go across the street and run around the church and then look in one of the windows?” Of course, in true Henry fashion, he smirked at me and said, “I don’t care what you do, child.” So I did it, but I was wearing my glasses and apparently I don’t run very well at night while wearing glasses. So I didn’t make it all the way around the church because I kept stumbling. Then when I looked in the window, a giant moth released its perch from the frame above me and fluttered into my face so I swatted at it and missed (because I was wearing my glasses) and wound up smacking my hand off the side of the church WHICH IS MADE FROM STUCCO and I don’t recommend roughly brushing that shit with your hand.
“You always make situations so awkward,” Alisha mumbled after I finished my story.
And that is pretty much all you missed. Oh, and I peed, and we talked at length about catheters and then I found out she’s never even had one so I was like, “Bitch, what you know about a catheter.” Fucking poser.
Later I’m going to do a live reading for you! It’s about a GIRL FIGHT from 1996. You will be amazed.
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I was thinking about your glasses the other day. I remember how you said you thought they would fit higher up on your face and since you’re having so many problems, I wonder if the focal point in your glasses is in the wrong place. They make the lenses so that you can see best when your eyes are lined up with the best refraction or whatever, so if that point in your glasses is closer to the middle and you’re looking through them closer to the top of the lens, that could explain why you’re always stumbling around and shit. I think, anyway. I’m not a glasses tech but I’m not all “Fucking glasses, how do they work?”
http://latewire.com/images/fekken_random/icp_how_do_magnets_work.jpg
Well, every pair of glasses I’ve ever owned have been like that, so…….
Well maybe when they’re asking you which lens looks less fuzzy at the eye doctor’s, stop picking the one that makes you feel like you’re going to fall out of the chair?
OK thanks.,