Apr 252008

When Chooch was around four months old, I accidentally sliced skin while trimming his nails. There was blood, there was tears, and there was a split second when I realized this was my chance to eschew the term ‘boo boo’ from our household lexicon. It’s just one of those babyish words that I hate.  "Oh no, you got a Borden! You got a little Lizzie Borden on your finger, poor baby!"

Unfortunately, Chooch hasn’t had many spills resulting in any visible marring of the flesh (fortunately, I mean! Fortunately!), so the cute and fluffy term never had a chance to stick.

But apparently last night, Father of the Year allowed Chooch to fall on the sidewalk and scrape his knee. Now, I was at work when this happened, but to further plow Henry’s good name straight into a landfill of shit, I like to imagine that when it happened, he was too busy slurping dented cans of Schlitz and thumbing through the Yellow Pages looking for bait shops and hookers while Chooch wandered around in a stupor of neglect, diaper hanging open on one hip and poop crusted on his hands.

This morning, we were sitting on the couch and I noticed his little scrape on the knee. He saw me looking at it and said, "Boo boo!" Goddammit! No! Every time he said it, I quickly corrected him. "Yeah, you got a Borden! Ouchie!" I can just hear Henry in my head, teaching him that it’s a booboo. "Oh no buddy, you got a BOO BOO! Now let’s go inside and I’ll give you your BINKY and we’ll watch BARNEY and sing HANNAH MONTANA songs!" So I pointed to the scrape again and said, "Happy birthday, Chooch. That was Daddy’s gift to you."

  12 Responses to “Happy Birthday Chooch, Here’s a Nice Flesh Wound”

  1. yeah, i hate “boo boo” too. quite a lot. i tend to say “owwie” just because it’s slightly less annoying. mostly, though, alpha just comes to me and says she’s “hurt” or (i shit you not) “injured”.

  2. i am not a fan of boo. i would use wound most of the time. johnathan would tell me he’s injured. still does, for the most part. and it makes me laugh.
    recently he was out riding his bike while stephanie (my niece who is 20) was walking with him, cos i won’t let him go down the street without someone.
    anyway, on the way back he wrecked.
    and he comes barging in “i’m injured! i’m injured! i hate my bike and stephanie, too!”
    and that cracked me up so bad. so i had to gain control and act like a mommmy before i lost the moment.

    happy birthday to chooch!

  3. Yay Chooch.

    I wish I was around to give him a birthday hug.

    Email me your address please!

  4. We would totally hang out with you guys. Alfie and Riley could tear some shit up!

  5. Honestly, I used the word boo-boo for so long that I have to take a second to think what the real adult word is. =(

    I never had a binky though. That’s just stupid!!

    • Henry’s entire family calls them “binkies” and I was like, “No, oh no. It’s a PACIFIER.” I dunno why, but that word gets under my skin!

      Boo-boo doesn’t bother me all that much, but I just wanted a cooler word, ha!

  6. Yeah “binky” really annoys the crap out of me. Where did that terrible term ever come from? Boo-boo is ok… I rather like “owwie” though. The people I baby sit for have the kids saying “wee-wee” for pee and I refuse to use that. Ugh.

    I hope Choochie had a good birthday! I can’t wait to give him hugs and kisses on Sunday.

  7. it’s a good thing chooch has enough going for him that saying “boo boo” doesn’t take away from his coolness…

    i’m sure that’s ALL thanks to you and not henry.

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