Halloween Stalker Swap!

As if I don’t splooge about this enough on here, I really love my friends over on the Etsy’s Dark Team. There was a Halloween Stalker Swap that I signed up for and was dying to know who my stalker was. My package arrived the other day and as soon as I saw the return address, I shouted, “FUCK YEAH, AGONY’S DECAY!” Remember my Jason Voorhees hair fascinator? JENNY MADE THAT.

You better believe I tore the shit out of that box, until the contents came spilling out onto my lap like an entire bushel of Eve’s apples.

I almost died.

The first thing I saw was a frightening plaque featuring Jason and Mrs. Voorhees.

I love it so much, though Chooch has already expressed intense interest in it so I have a feeling it will end up decorating his bedroom wall, right next to his framed eyeball print.

But right now, it’s hanging next to the front door, so back off my Halloween swag, son.

(I feel like that could be a future photo of me and Chooch.)

I would have been satisfied with that alone, but my Darkside girls always spoil the shit out of me. So there was more.

Before I knew who my stalker was, the organizer of the swap kept sending me convos via Etsy, pumping me for information on behalf of my stalker, regarding my collection of Cure music and videos. Jenny used that info to put together a CD of rarities and a DVD of live performances!

Chooch came downstairs this morning while I was watching the DVD. He sat down on the couch and, after watching for a few seconds, angrily asked, “Where’s Lol?

”

“Lol?” I repeated with surprise, wondering how he even remembered that, because it was probably over a year ago when I first told him about Lol Tolhurst, ex-Cure member. And then it turned into 20 Questions About Lol Tolhurst, hosted by Chooch.

“Why does Robert hate Lol? Is he sick? Is he dead?” And on and on Chooch went, obsessing over a man who hasn’t had any part of the Cure since 1989. Finally, Chooch made me Google Image him on my phone, which he took from me and proceeded to (quite haughtily)  flip through all the photos of Lol Tolhurst, past and present. Then he went back to watching the TV, disgusted that Lol was nowhere to be found.

Mr. Tolhurst, looks like you have a #1 fan.

Jenny also included this hot Robert Smith pendant! I wore it to work the day I got it and it wound up being a conversation piece. One of the analysts paused by my desk and asked, “Is that Robert Smith?” Turns out she likes The Cure, too, so we bonded over that and I was happy to have something in common with a co-worker. I told her about how I went to Australia to see them and she thought it was cool, not crazy, which is the reaction I generally get from telling that story.

And Jenny knows of my hardcore Michael Myers passion, so she tossed this bottle cap bracelet into the mix. LOOK AT HOW FUCKING HOT HE IS! Oh my God. I’m happy to have a bracelet to go with my Michael ring.

Seriously, go check out her shop! Thank you, Jenny, for the creepy-awesome gifts!